Who to invite - from work?

Knottie73227208

So I've pretty much set up my guest list for my fiance and my family, and we're at about 50-60 people.  I would like to add some people from work, but admittedly, not everyone.  There are around 26 people in my office, and I'd probably invite around 5 people (people on my department plus maybe one or two people I get along with).  Would this be rude to exclude everyone else?  I've been trying not to talk about it in the office, but people will keep coming up to me and bringing it up, and I feel guilty knowing I'm most likely won't be inviting them... 

Jen4948

Do you also want to invite the SOs of the work colleagues you want to invite? That is required whenever you invite someone in a relationship.

As for not inviting everyone in the office, it's unfortunately a judgment call. If leaving someone out can jeopardize your job, you may have to invite them, and their SO, even if you ordinarily wouldn't. And while inviting 5 out of 26 people seems like a reasonable ratio, there's no way to know until after the invitations go out that the whole office will be okay with it and that no one will give you a hard time about not being invited.

If you are confident that this won't be a problem, you can tell those who are not invited that unfortunately it isn't possible for you and your FI to invite everyone you would like.

But if you make the decision to invite some but not all of your colleagues, then send their invitations to their homes and don't discuss the wedding in the presence of those who are not invited.

Maggie0829

Personally, for me, if these are individuals that you would not hang out with outside of work hours then I would not invite them to your wedding.

When it comes to inviting people from work it can be very complicated.  People will talk and people will get their feelings hurt because they will think that if Susie, Joe and Larry got invited then they should have been included as well.  And when work colleagues are involved hurt feelings could result in uncomfortable work interactions.  Remember these are people that you see every day and will have to work with after your wedding is over with.  So it really comes down to your work environment and what your gut tells you.

AddieCake

I would only invite them if they are people you have hung out with or would like to hang out with outside of work.

MairePoppy

That depends - how many people are in your department? 5? it's okay since you're inviting everyone in your department. 6 or 7? seems like you're singling out a few to exclude. I agree with PPs about inviting those who you have a relationship with outside of work as well as their S/Os.

Every time someone at works asks about your wedding, say you'd rather not talk about it at work since your guest is limited to a very few people beyond your family members. That should tip everyone off that they will most likely not be invited.

southernbelle0915

I would just ask yourself: Would you be inviting these people if they weren't your co-workers? Are they good friends of yours outside work?

Inviting 5 of 26 people is almost 20% of your entire company. Personally, I wouldn't invite anyone from work unless I knew we would continue to be close friends if/when I stopped working there.

Knottie73227208

Thank you for the advice, thus far.  I just wanted to update:

My fiance has started working at the same place as me, and since he's in a different department, our group of people have theoretically expanded.

Of the people I'm considering, a couple of us have hung out after work.  There is a small group of us who go out every month or so to go to karaoke or do something silly.  Unfortunately, I don't feel like I can invite both my department AND the group I hang out with (since most are in other departments).

Just wondering since both my fiance and I work together at this office, if it'd be necessary to invite everyone, or still be selective.

Thanks~

Maggie0829

I would only invite those that you hang out with on a regular basis.  Same goes with your FI if he happens to become friends with any of his co-workers.

Just because your FI and you work in the same place does not mean that you need to invite everyone.  Just send all invites to the guests home and keep wedding talk to a minimum at work.