Chemo question

wandajune6

I'm spending the day taking MIL to her oncologist tomorrow. While she's not having chemo, she's going through a series of experimental treatments that I've been told have similar side effects, just a bit more awful. It's an oddball ovarian cancer, though I don't know all of the details. She has gone to previous appointments with her other DIL but neither has a great understanding of medical English and everyone has so many questions that it makes sense for me to go. Not a problem.

So here's my question for the group: what can I do to make her more comfortable? I'll be driving her around, sitting by her (except for the times I've been told I'll need to leave her side), and do whatever she needs. I'm planning to buy a bunch of trashy magazines (in Spanish) for her, bring lots of bottled water, etc. But what else am I missing?

Will she be able to eat? Should I bring snacks? A comfy blanket?

I want to make this as easy for her as possible but have no idea what would help. I've tried asking but she's just so happy that I'm going with her that she'll never ask for anything. I asked my SIL - a wonderful woman - but she just doesn't think about this kind of thing.

Any ideas?

themuffinman16

 You can always stock up her freezer with popsicles (I hear eating something cool has a very soothing effect on nausea.  I guess if I were going to be sick, I'd like to make sure I am in the comfort of my home. Getting whatever medication for her so she does not have to venture out again and getting a few staples for nausea, kleenex, water, maybe ginger ale and saltines, I am sure would be more than welcome. 

    I am sure she is grateful to have someone so thoughtful in her life. I am sending positive healing thoughts her way.

LadyMillil

I'm not sure if she'll be able to eat, but I'm of the opinion you can never be too prepared so I'd bring some snacks just in case. I also think a blanket or sweater would be nice. Maybe some ginger ale if the treatment makes her nauseous and a barf bag for the car. A deck of cards or something else to do besides the magazines so she has options. A list of any questions you have about the treatment and a little notebook with pen to make any notes.

MadHops21

My nephew was just diagnosed with leukemia. He's 4. It's been really really tough, poor guy.

He's doing an experimental trial, but doing chemo. He doesn't get hungry and is almost all bones know. With chemo there are 3-4 rounds of treatment (10 days of chemo, 3 week break at home). During the break, he has no immune system and easily sick with fever and flus from anyone he comes into contact with. Chemo ruins the stomach while on it (not eating, barely eats, gets upset stomach) and he is getting bald. Chemo also destroys the immunity system for a while, but it comes back. He's has had about 10 blood transfusions in the past 4 weeks, not sure if it's from chemo. 

Bring comfy blankets, she might be in pain.  Nephew can't sleep because his legs are hurting him. Snacks are smart since he doesn't eat full meals anymore. It's smart to keep her weight up during this time since she will lose it if it's like chemo. Then again, we're trying to keep my nephew's weight up since he's 4 and still growing...not sure about a grown adult. 

He like keeping him entertained since he's in the hospital and 4, so toys are nice for him. MIL will like the company, my nephew is always asking for his friends and my FI to visit ( FI is his favorite person ever). 

If you want to talk, you can message me. My nephew will be getting a bone marrow transplant in March from his twin sister, so we're learning as we go about this. 

blabla89

First of all, sending lots of hugs for your MIL! Watching someone you love go through that is pretty awful, but she's so fortunate to have you to support her through it.

When my mom was doing chemo, she would sit in a big room with other people doing chemo and basically just hang out in a chair while getting the infusion. She was able to eat and drink, read, nap, etc.

Definitely bring a blanket, it gets chilly in those offices. Snacks would be good too, but chemo effects some people's sense of taste, so ask your MIL what kind of snacks sound good to her. You may also want to bring change for a vending machine. Also a purse pack of tissues. And be prepared to write down any questions that she has or information you get from the doctor. Maybe a folder to store all the paperwork?

dolewhipper

Lots of hugs!

When I would go with my dad to chemo, he would get a metallic taste in his mouth and the only thing to cut it would be lemonade. Just in case it comes up.

Lots of comfy blankets, easy to digest snacks, and if they let you, an electric blanket would be awesome! At the hospital my dad would get treatment at, they had some blanket sin a warmer and I would make sure there was a ton in there for him. I would switch it out every 20-30 minutes. 

I also brought my portable dvd player and we would watch comedies. Something to take your mind off it, as difficult as that was.

lovemyrunner

I'm an oncology RN, and I will tell you that not all drug regimens have the same side effects.  Not every chemo makes you nauseated or makes your hair fall out.  Some are really hard on the kidneys and bladder, so we have to make the patient drink liters of fluid so they're peeing constantly.  The best thing you can do is check with her doctor about what side effects she might experience and be prepared for those.  PPs have given some excellent suggestions.  Popsicles are actually great for reducing the likelyhood of your MIL developing mouth sores.  Also, mint tends to help with nausea and for some people, sniffing those little alcohol pads we have at hospitals helps too.  Feel free to PM me if you have any specific questions.

dcbride86

I'm so sorry about your MIL!

If it's like chemo, she will actually probably feel fine right after the treatment.  When my aunt was going through it, she was always really sick like a week after.  So I think snacks after would probably be appreciated.  Also, the blanket could be great!  Hospitals are often cold, so that could be really nice while she's sitting around and getting her treatment.

Again, I'm so sorry for your MIL.  You're an amazing daughter in law for caring for her like this.

wandajune6

These are all such good ideas! Thank you!

I was going to take my laptop with me in case I end up sitting by myself for a while (I'm really too busy at work to be taking a day off today) but I'll also pack up a few movies for her choose from. I'll also have:

1. Bottled water
2. Those little packets of flavoring for water bottles
3. Chewy ginger cookies (I made them last night) and some other snacks
4. A fleece blanket
5. Tissues
6. Magazines
7. Deck of cards
8. My notepad/pens

I tried filling her freezer when she first started going through treatment but there was no interest. None of DH's family particularly likes my cooking. I tend to cook fairly healthy while they all prefer the Mexican home cooking they grew up with- lots of lard, meat, and minimal veggies. I'll leave that to SIL when she comes over a few hours later, though I'll pick up dinner for her just in case.

wandajune6

You're all awesome!

I need to find out more about the specifics of her treatment. She doesn't really understand a lot of it and my BIL/SIL either don't understand or can't articulate what's going on. I really don't know much of anything- and that's why I want to be there. Once I know more, we can plan accordingly.

dcbride86

wandajune6 said:

These are all such good ideas! Thank you!

I was going to take my laptop with me in case I end up sitting by myself for a while (I'm really too busy at work to be taking a day off today) but I'll also pack up a few movies for her choose from. I'll also have:

1. Bottled water
2. Those little packets of flavoring for water bottles
3. Chewy ginger cookies (I made them last night) and some other snacks
4. A fleece blanket
5. Tissues
6. Magazines
7. Deck of cards
8. My notepad/pens

I tried filling her freezer when she first started going through treatment but there was no interest. None of DH's family particularly likes my cooking. I tend to cook fairly healthy while they all prefer the Mexican home cooking they grew up with- lots of lard, meat, and minimal veggies. I'll leave that to SIL when she comes over a few hours later, though I'll pick up dinner for her just in case.

This is such a great list!!  She truly is lucky to have you

One other thing you might consider is soda water or ginger ale, just in case she is nauseous.  The bubbles sometimes help my tummy when I'm feeling well, and after my dad had surgery for his cancer a couple years ago, ginger ale was the best thing in the world!

Jells2dot0

lovemyrunner said:

I'm an oncology RN, and I will tell you that not all drug regimens have the same side effects.  Not every chemo makes you nauseated or makes your hair fall out.  Some are really hard on the kidneys and bladder, so we have to make the patient drink liters of fluid so they're peeing constantly.  The best thing you can do is check with her doctor about what side effects she might experience and be prepared for those.  PPs have given some excellent suggestions.  Popsicles are actually great for reducing the likelyhood of your MIL developing mouth sores.  Also, mint tends to help with nausea and for some people, sniffing those little alcohol pads we have at hospitals helps too.  Feel free to PM me if you have any specific questions.

This! When I went through my chemo, I did not have any of the normal side effects, other than losing my hair and being tired. I was never sick to my stomach, kept an appetite, and never got the mouth sores. I was also freaking hot all of the time, so a warm blanket would have sent me over the edge.

I did mine as an inpatient, but I know the infusion center for outpatient chemo provided a lot of comforts, like drinks and blankets. They also had TVs. I'm sure it depends on the place. I think magazines and small snacks are great, though!

Best of luck to your MIL!

CMGragain

Not all chemo is the same.  My first chemo for stage 3 breast cancer caused hair loss, skin changes, loss of appetite, low energy, and need for extra sleep.  My current chemo causes loss of appetite and some numbness in my toes, but that's all.
Every patient is different.  If she wants to sleep, let her sleep.  I found that Plantation Mint Tea (Bigalow) helped with the metallic taste.  Lemon drops are good, too.
Driving her around is the best thing you can do.  I was so tired after my treatments.

wandajune6

It turns out that she didn't care about anything other than having company- the built-in interpreter was a nice perk. She's been feeling lousy but today was no worse than usual, even as we left.

It was a very long day with all of the waiting- 5.5 hours in the hospital. She's more of a trooper than I am!