Bridal shower invite-gift wording

melespi

Hello!

Me and my MOH are a little confused as to how to tell people that I prefer to receive traditional gifts such as lingerie, perfume etc on the bridal shower invite. I was thinking of putting an insert with my cup size, shirt size so ppl get the hint? We have lived together for several years and don't need things off of our registry but provided one for the wedding for the family that doesn't like to gift cash.

I was also thinking of putting the registry on the insert as well since some of his family or older family friends might feel uncomfortable gifting me lingerie lol

thoughts?

MobKaz

melkathkillian said:

Hello!

Me and my MOH are a little confused as to how to tell people that I prefer to receive traditional gifts such as lingerie, perfume etc on the bridal shower invite. I was thinking of putting an insert with my cup size, shirt size so ppl get the hint? We have lived together for several years and don't need things off of our registry but provided one for the wedding for the family that doesn't like to gift cash.

I was also thinking of putting the registry on the insert as well since some of his family or older family friends might feel uncomfortable gifting me lingerie lol

thoughts?

What you are looking at is having a personal shower.  A traditional shower is one in which guests help a couple set up their household with gifts from a registry.  You may put registry information in shower invitations, but not in wedding invitations.

Although I am personally not a fan, the best you can do is select invitations that lend themselves to a personal shower.  You might even call it a lingerie shower.  I personally do not feel such showers are appropriate.  I would have a difficult time selecting such an intimate gift.  Are you sure you want to invite guests to such a shower, knowing it would cause them discomfort?  Perhaps you could use such a themed shower and invite your peers versus older or unfamiliar family members.

climbingsingle

MobKaz said:

melkathkillian said:

Hello!

Me and my MOH are a little confused as to how to tell people that I prefer to receive traditional gifts such as lingerie, perfume etc on the bridal shower invite. I was thinking of putting an insert with my cup size, shirt size so ppl get the hint? We have lived together for several years and don't need things off of our registry but provided one for the wedding for the family that doesn't like to gift cash.

I was also thinking of putting the registry on the insert as well since some of his family or older family friends might feel uncomfortable gifting me lingerie lol

thoughts?

What you are looking at is having a personal shower.  A traditional shower is one in which guests help a couple set up their household with gifts from a registry.  You may put registry information in shower invitations, but not in wedding invitations.

Although I am personally not a fan, the best you can do is select invitations that lend themselves to a personal shower.  You might even call it a lingerie shower.  I personally do not feel such showers are appropriate.  I would have a difficult time selecting such an intimate gift.  Are you sure you want to invite guests to such a shower, knowing it would cause them discomfort?  Perhaps you could use such a themed shower and invite your peers versus older or unfamiliar family members.

Yes to the bolded! I would feel super uncomfortable picking out lingerie for my cousin, or anyone in my H's family. The only people I would be OK with buying something like that for would be my very best friends that I've known most of my life. Other than that - ick. 

And if I received a bridal shower invite with the bride's cup size, this would be my face:

Maybe you can expand the gift registry and have a traditional shower. Or, if you'd really like to receive lingerie, maybe you can incorporate that into your bachelorette party. 

Maggie0829

What PP said.  If you know that certain people will feel uncomfortable about getting you lingerie I think it is safe to assume that they will also be uncomfortable watching you open lingerie.  I think the type of gift giving party you are wanting is better suited for a bachelorette party rather then a bridal shower. Don't want to be giving grandma a heart attack when she sees you opening up a gift with edible undies and crotchless panties.

And to me lingerie is a very personal thing in regards to taste and style that I really wouldn't want to entrust others to purchase it for me.

AddieCake

I, too, would prefer to pick out my own lingerie and to not buy lingerie for others. But if that's the shower you want, then pick out "lingerie shower" invitations and provide the necessary info for your size, same as you would provide registry info in other shower invitations.

southernbelle0915

A traditional shower is where people get your place settings and towels, not toys and underpants. 

I've heard of people having a "Lingerie Shower" (not "Bridal Shower"). That always makes it painfully obvious they want underwear. If you aren't obvious about it though, grandma will be in for a shocker when you start opening your lacy gifts.

mikenberger

Have your hosts, host you a Pure Romance bridal shower. That'll get the hint across that you don't want towels but rather a penis party. 

And I cannot even believe you'd feel comfortable sitting there in front of his family of the older variety opening up lingerie. Ewwww, girl. Even if it wasn't my family and I wasn't the bride, I'd feel SO uncomfortable sitting there watching you open lingerie in front of your older family members.

Sounds like you should use this for your bachelorette party (lingerie party) and keep the bridal shower G rated, which most showers are. That's for the older people to come to, not the naughty bits portion of the show. 

Jen4948

I myself would not feel comfortable as a guest, let alone as the bride or hostess, at a shower where lingerie is among the gifts.  (True story: I actually was at a work shower where the bride was given a piece from Victoria's Secret once.  It was weird and made me uncomfortable.)

If you're having a bachelorette party or hen party, maybe you can put the word out that you'd like to receive lingerie (by word of mouth, after someone asks you) but to be honest, if you're going to invite older relatives and friends, I'd skip the lingerie, etc. and save anything rated PG and up for something with just your closest friends.

misshart00

FWIW, I had a personal shower and loved it. But it was my bridesmaids and a few close girlfriends (and my grandma, but I still loved it). If you're inviting ladies from your FI's family as well as older guests, I would have a more traditional bridal shower where gifts are bought from the registry.

artbyallie

Why on earth do you think 'traditional shower'=lingerie???

I mean, I had a lingerie shower, but it was combined with my bachelorette party and completely separate from the traditional type shower where I opened my dishes and towels and whatnot that I had registered for.

southernbelle0915

mikenberger said:

Have your hosts, host you a Pure Romance bridal shower. That'll get the hint across that you don't want towels but rather a penis party. 

And I cannot even believe you'd feel comfortable sitting there in front of his family of the older variety opening up lingerie. Ewwww, girl. Even if it wasn't my family and I wasn't the bride, I'd feel SO uncomfortable sitting there watching you open lingerie in front of your older family members.

Sounds like you should use this for your bachelorette party (lingerie party) and keep the bridal shower G rated, which most showers are. That's for the older people to come to, not the naughty bits portion of the show. 

I would make sure everyone knows what Pure Romance is if you decide to do this. Lots of people don't - I didn't until a few years ago. I could see grandma showing up with wine glasses and a bottle of wine thinking it was a 'purely romantic' gift. I'd love to witness that, btw...

chibiyui

I received gift cards for Victorias Secret and Jimmy Jane's online store at the shower FSIL hosted for me with H's family. It was a bit awkward. And I'm pretty open about sex.

Scale down to close friends or go more PG.

melespi

First off, a penis party is completely different than receiving lingerie, perfume, makeup, personal items for the honeymoon or just for the bride. I really don't know how the word lingerie automatically equals vibrators. I'm so sorry you have to be an adult and face the fact that sex is totally normal and part of a healthy relationship. Also, I like to wear lingerie. It's not for guys and not just for sex. I suppose I have to apologize for being a confident woman and embracing my sexuality.

Btw, if lingerie embarrasses you, then when you have a baby shower, you should cower up in the corner and be ashamed that you had sex and that everyone knows it. Wear that belly as a badge of your shameful sinful sex life.

I say this is traditional because my mothers bridal shower and all of her friends were given these type of gifts instead of toasters and pans.

For all the references to "grandma", neither me or my fiancé have living grandparents. Way to remind me of that.

Thanks for all the advice. I'm soooo happy that women can come on here to bash and belittle others. Such a loving wonderful community.

Is there anyone on these forums that isn't from the 1800's?

mikenberger

melkathkillian said:

First off, a penis party is completely different than receiving lingerie, perfume, makeup, personal items for the honeymoon or just for the bride. I really don't know how the word lingerie automatically equals vibrators. I'm so sorry you have to be an adult and face the fact that sex is totally normal and part of a healthy relationship. Also, I like to wear lingerie. It's not for guys and not just for sex. I suppose I have to apologize for being a confident woman and embracing my sexuality.

Btw, if lingerie embarrasses you, then when you have a baby shower, you should cower up in the corner and be ashamed that you had sex and that everyone knows it. Wear that belly as a badge of your shameful sinful sex life.

I say this is traditional because my mothers bridal shower and all of her friends were given these type of gifts instead of toasters and pans.

For all the references to "grandma", neither me or my fiancé have living grandparents. Way to remind me of that.

Thanks for all the advice. I'm soooo happy that women can come on here to bash and belittle others. Such a loving wonderful community.

Is there anyone on these forums that isn't from the 1800's?

I can't have a baby. Thanks for reminding me of that.

You're cute. Have you been to the internet yet? Its not for everybody.

Viczaesar

melkathkillian said:

First off, a penis party is completely different than receiving lingerie, perfume, makeup, personal items for the honeymoon or just for the bride. I really don't know how the word lingerie automatically equals vibrators. I'm so sorry you have to be an adult and face the fact that sex is totally normal and part of a healthy relationship. Also, I like to wear lingerie. It's not for guys and not just for sex. I suppose I have to apologize for being a confident woman and embracing my sexuality. Btw, if lingerie embarrasses you, then when you have a baby shower, you should cower up in the corner and be ashamed that you had sex and that everyone knows it. Wear that belly as a badge of your shameful sinful sex life. I say this is traditional because my mothers bridal shower and all of her friends were given these type of gifts instead of toasters and pans. For all the references to "grandma", neither me or my fiancé have living grandparents. Way to remind me of that. Thanks for all the advice. I'm soooo happy that women can come on here to bash and belittle others. Such a loving wonderful community. Is there anyone on these forums that isn't from the 1800's?

You sound like a snot-nosed brat with major issues.  You might want to work on that.

CMGragain

Humph!  I am the oldest poster on the Knot, as far as I know.  Personal bridal showers have been around for ages.  I had one when I was married in 1976.  I don't really know what a "traditional shower" is.  I have never heard of such a thing.
Posting your bra size and your panty preferences on your invitations is in bad taste, no matter what century you are from.  (Thongs?)
My dear young lady, there is a big difference between being confident in your sexuality and advertising it.

AddieCake

Well, since now we are handing out sarcastic thank-yous......

OP, a few of us answered your question without snarking about the kind of party you want, but thanks for being a dick and just blanket insulting everyone in your thread. 

climbingsingle

melespi said:

First off, a penis party is completely different than receiving lingerie, perfume, makeup, personal items for the honeymoon or just for the bride. I really don't know how the word lingerie automatically equals vibrators. I'm so sorry you have to be an adult and face the fact that sex is totally normal and part of a healthy relationship. Also, I like to wear lingerie. It's not for guys and not just for sex. I suppose I have to apologize for being a confident woman and embracing my sexuality. Btw, if lingerie embarrasses you, then when you have a baby shower, you should cower up in the corner and be ashamed that you had sex and that everyone knows it. Wear that belly as a badge of your shameful sinful sex life. I say this is traditional because my mothers bridal shower and all of her friends were given these type of gifts instead of toasters and pans. For all the references to "grandma", neither me or my fiancé have living grandparents. Way to remind me of that. Thanks for all the advice. I'm soooo happy that women can come on here to bash and belittle others. Such a loving wonderful community. Is there anyone on these forums that isn't from the 1800's?

Oh, FFS. I actually had a surprise lingerie shower at my bachelorette weekend. I'm hardly a prude. My mother and MIL were in attendance. They bought me lingerie too, and I was not embarrassed at all. My friends also had a penis pinata filled with lubes and condoms and other toys. It was hilarious and awesome. 

I'm sorry, but posting your bra size on your bridal shower invites to me is tacky. I don't need to know my H's cousin's bra size. As open as I am with my sexuality (and I'm very open) I still don't want to buy lingerie for a relative that I'm not particularly close with. 

If you want a personal shower, then do it. Spread the word that you want perfumes and things of that nature (again, I'm sorry, but that's weird to me. I would rather pick that stuff out myself, but whatever). 

southernbelle0915

melespi said:

First off, a penis party is completely different than receiving lingerie, perfume, makeup, personal items for the honeymoon or just for the bride. I really don't know how the word lingerie automatically equals vibrators. I'm so sorry you have to be an adult and face the fact that sex is totally normal and part of a healthy relationship. Also, I like to wear lingerie. It's not for guys and not just for sex. I suppose I have to apologize for being a confident woman and embracing my sexuality. Btw, if lingerie embarrasses you, then when you have a baby shower, you should cower up in the corner and be ashamed that you had sex and that everyone knows it. Wear that belly as a badge of your shameful sinful sex life. I say this is traditional because my mothers bridal shower and all of her friends were given these type of gifts instead of toasters and pans. For all the references to "grandma", neither me or my fiancé have living grandparents. Way to remind me of that. Thanks for all the advice. I'm soooo happy that women can come on here to bash and belittle others. Such a loving wonderful community. Is there anyone on these forums that isn't from the 1800's?

hahah oh my god. Welcome to the Interwebz, princess! I'm sooooo happy you brought your precious little self here to take time out of people's lives to answer your non-question and graciously thank people for their advice. You're a peach!

Through all this rambling bullshit, I gathered you're going to do what you want anyway. Congratulations!!! And you're welcome, by the way.

Maggie0829

Um, OP you were the one who noted that there may be certain individuals invited who may be uncomfortable buying you lingerie.

So easy solution, only invite those who you know are comfortable buying you lacey things and leave the others off the guest list.

Oh, and 3 of my grandparents are dead and the one who is living is a horrendous bitch, but you don't see me getting butt hurt if people mention 'grandma' in a thread.  Get the fuck over yourself.

melespi said:

First off, a penis party is completely different than receiving lingerie, perfume, makeup, personal items for the honeymoon or just for the bride. I really don't know how the word lingerie automatically equals vibrators. I'm so sorry you have to be an adult and face the fact that sex is totally normal and part of a healthy relationship. Also, I like to wear lingerie. It's not for guys and not just for sex. I suppose I have to apologize for being a confident woman and embracing my sexuality. Btw, if lingerie embarrasses you, then when you have a baby shower, you should cower up in the corner and be ashamed that you had sex and that everyone knows it. Wear that belly as a badge of your shameful sinful sex life. I say this is traditional because my mothers bridal shower and all of her friends were given these type of gifts instead of toasters and pans. For all the references to "grandma", neither me or my fiancé have living grandparents. Way to remind me of that. Thanks for all the advice. I'm soooo happy that women can come on here to bash and belittle others. Such a loving wonderful community. Is there anyone on these forums that isn't from the 1800's?

plainjane0415

melespi said:

First off, a penis party is completely different than receiving lingerie, perfume, makeup, personal items for the honeymoon or just for the bride. I really don't know how the word lingerie automatically equals vibrators. I'm so sorry you have to be an adult and face the fact that sex is totally normal and part of a healthy relationship. Also, I like to wear lingerie. It's not for guys and not just for sex. I suppose I have to apologize for being a confident woman and embracing my sexuality. Btw, if lingerie embarrasses you, then when you have a baby shower, you should cower up in the corner and be ashamed that you had sex and that everyone knows it. Wear that belly as a badge of your shameful sinful sex life. I say this is traditional because my mothers bridal shower and all of her friends were given these type of gifts instead of toasters and pans. For all the references to "grandma", neither me or my fiancé have living grandparents. Way to remind me of that. Thanks for all the advice. I'm soooo happy that women can come on here to bash and belittle others. Such a loving wonderful community. Is there anyone on these forums that isn't from the 1800's?

Do what you want. Word the invite to say that you want perfume, lingerie and other stuff.  You came here for opinions but didn't want them.  That's smart. 

climbingsingle

Maggie0829 said:

Um, OP you were the one who noted that there may be certain individuals invited who may be uncomfortable buying you lingerie.

So easy solution, only invite those who you know are comfortable buying you lacey things and leave the others off the guest list.

Oh, and 3 of my grandparents are dead and the one who is living is a horrendous bitch, but you don't see me getting butt hurt if people mention 'grandma' in a thread.  Get the fuck over yourself.

melespi said:

First off, a penis party is completely different than receiving lingerie, perfume, makeup, personal items for the honeymoon or just for the bride. I really don't know how the word lingerie automatically equals vibrators. I'm so sorry you have to be an adult and face the fact that sex is totally normal and part of a healthy relationship. Also, I like to wear lingerie. It's not for guys and not just for sex. I suppose I have to apologize for being a confident woman and embracing my sexuality. Btw, if lingerie embarrasses you, then when you have a baby shower, you should cower up in the corner and be ashamed that you had sex and that everyone knows it. Wear that belly as a badge of your shameful sinful sex life. I say this is traditional because my mothers bridal shower and all of her friends were given these type of gifts instead of toasters and pans. For all the references to "grandma", neither me or my fiancé have living grandparents. Way to remind me of that. Thanks for all the advice. I'm soooo happy that women can come on here to bash and belittle others. Such a loving wonderful community. Is there anyone on these forums that isn't from the 1800's?

Totally forgot about that lovely gem! OP, I have one living grandparent. The rest died when I was very young. But like Maggie, you don't see me getting upset that other people have living grandparents. What an immature thing to post. 

DaniBites

melespi said:

First off, a penis party is completely different than receiving lingerie, perfume, makeup, personal items for the honeymoon or just for the bride. I really don't know how the word lingerie automatically equals vibrators. I'm so sorry you have to be an adult and face the fact that sex is totally normal and part of a healthy relationship. Also, I like to wear lingerie. It's not for guys and not just for sex. I suppose I have to apologize for being a confident woman and embracing my sexuality. Btw, if lingerie embarrasses you, then when you have a baby shower, you should cower up in the corner and be ashamed that you had sex and that everyone knows it. Wear that belly as a badge of your shameful sinful sex life. I say this is traditional because my mothers bridal shower and all of her friends were given these type of gifts instead of toasters and pans. For all the references to "grandma", neither me or my fiancé have living grandparents. Way to remind me of that. Thanks for all the advice. I'm soooo happy that women can come on here to bash and belittle others. Such a loving wonderful community. Is there anyone on these forums that isn't from the 1800's?

Well aren't you the special snowflake!  I have one grandparent left who tried to kill herself twice this year and a dad who succeeded eight months ago.  Better go bitch and moan whenever someone says 'grandma' or 'dad'

Quit finding ways to play the victim for being told something you don't want to hear.

chibiyui

How are you open and confident about your sexuality if vibrators scare you? 

thespeshulestsnowflake

thespeshulestsnowflake

Accidental 2nd post...

thespeshulestsnowflake

Not sure how I got 3 posts here....

climbingsingle

chibiyui said:

How are you open and confident about your sexuality if vibrators scare you? 

Wait, who's scared of vibrators? 

mikenberger

ClimbingBrideNY said:

chibiyui said:

How are you open and confident about your sexuality if vibrators scare you? 

Wait, who's scared of vibrators? 

----boxes.-----

The ones that twirl freak the hell out of me. Like my vagina is a damn canal that needs deep cleaning. Just gonna bevel this whole thing out....

ohannabelle

melespi said:

First off, a penis party is completely different than receiving lingerie, perfume, makeup, personal items for the honeymoon or just for the bride. I really don't know how the word lingerie automatically equals vibrators. I'm so sorry you have to be an adult and face the fact that sex is totally normal and part of a healthy relationship. Also, I like to wear lingerie. It's not for guys and not just for sex. I suppose I have to apologize for being a confident woman and embracing my sexuality. Btw, if lingerie embarrasses you, then when you have a baby shower, you should cower up in the corner and be ashamed that you had sex and that everyone knows it. Wear that belly as a badge of your shameful sinful sex life. I say this is traditional because my mothers bridal shower and all of her friends were given these type of gifts instead of toasters and pans. For all the references to "grandma", neither me or my fiancé have living grandparents. Way to remind me of that. Thanks for all the advice. I'm soooo happy that women can come on here to bash and belittle others. Such a loving wonderful community. Is there anyone on these forums that isn't from the 1800's?

Oh, grow the fuck up. 

The layers of stupidity in this post are too many to be addressed individually. 

DaniBites

mikenberger said:

chibiyui said:

How are you open and confident about your sexuality if vibrators scare you? 

Wait, who's scared of vibrators? 

----boxes.----- The ones that twirl freak the hell out of me. Like my vagina is a damn canal that needs deep cleaning. Just gonna bevel this whole thing out....

Me too now that you mention it.  I'm trying to get off not strike oil.