So I said the dumbest thing ever yesterday.

hellosweetie1015

We were going to bed, and I was tired. I don't really know why I was tired, but still. I was TIRED. (This is my main defense, so I want it crystal clear. I was really tired. Also possibly a wee bit inebriated, although if I tell you how much alcohol I had you would laugh at the amount of potential "inebriation" compared to the amount of dumb shit that came out of my mouth.)

FI turned the light off, then about two seconds later turned it back on to aggravate his toenails. When he finished, he said, "Are you ready for me to turn the light back off?"

I said, fully serious, "Is it on?" About a half-second later, we both realized what I said, and FI like, rolled away from me and put his face into the mattress and moaned unintelligible things for a full minute or so. While I sat over here trying to figure out why in the actual fuck I said that. I finally (jokingly) asked him if he still loved me "even though I'm so dumb." (He, of course, said, "Of course I still love you, and you aren't dumb. You just sometimes say the absolute DUMBEST things.")

ETA I realized it doesn't much sound like I have a point and I really don't. I just felt like bringing some laughter to y'all's days.

sarawifenow

I don't think this is that bad at all. I am curious what he was saying into the mattress for a full minute?

theartistformerlyknownas

hellosweetie1015 said:

We were going to bed, and I was tired. I don't really know why I was tired, but still. I was TIRED. (This is my main defense, so I want it crystal clear. I was really tired. Also possibly a wee bit inebriated, although if I tell you how much alcohol I had you would laugh at the amount of potential "inebriation" compared to the amount of dumb shit that came out of my mouth.)

FI turned the light off, then about two seconds later turned it back on to aggravate his toenails. When he finished, he said, "Are you ready for me to turn the light back off?"

I said, fully serious, "Is it on?" About a half-second later, we both realized what I said, and FI like, rolled away from me and put his face into the mattress and moaned unintelligible things for a full minute or so. While I sat over here trying to figure out why in the actual fuck I said that. I finally (jokingly) asked him if he still loved me "even though I'm so dumb." (He, of course, said, "Of course I still love you, and you aren't dumb. You just sometimes say the absolute DUMBEST things.")

ETA I realized it doesn't much sound like I have a point and I really don't. I just felt like bringing some laughter to y'all's days.

I'm more interested in what on earth this means.

hellosweetie1015

sarawifenow said:

I don't think this is that bad at all. I am curious what he was saying into the mattress for a full minute?

It was mostly just dramatic moaning, combined with a couple "Oh my God"s. At least, that's all I heard.

Also we were both up watching Family Guy on Netflix. So that may have exacerbated the dumbness. I wasn't, like, eyes-closed trying to go to sleep.

ShesSoCold

lolo883 said:

hellosweetie1015 said:

We were going to bed, and I was tired. I don't really know why I was tired, but still. I was TIRED. (This is my main defense, so I want it crystal clear. I was really tired. Also possibly a wee bit inebriated, although if I tell you how much alcohol I had you would laugh at the amount of potential "inebriation" compared to the amount of dumb shit that came out of my mouth.)

FI turned the light off, then about two seconds later turned it back on to aggravate his toenails. When he finished, he said, "Are you ready for me to turn the light back off?"

I said, fully serious, "Is it on?" About a half-second later, we both realized what I said, and FI like, rolled away from me and put his face into the mattress and moaned unintelligible things for a full minute or so. While I sat over here trying to figure out why in the actual fuck I said that. I finally (jokingly) asked him if he still loved me "even though I'm so dumb." (He, of course, said, "Of course I still love you, and you aren't dumb. You just sometimes say the absolute DUMBEST things.")

ETA I realized it doesn't much sound like I have a point and I really don't. I just felt like bringing some laughter to y'all's days.

I'm more interested in what on earth this means.

I do NOT want to know.

hellosweetie1015

ShesSoCold said:

lolo883 said:

hellosweetie1015 said:

We were going to bed, and I was tired. I don't really know why I was tired, but still. I was TIRED. (This is my main defense, so I want it crystal clear. I was really tired. Also possibly a wee bit inebriated, although if I tell you how much alcohol I had you would laugh at the amount of potential "inebriation" compared to the amount of dumb shit that came out of my mouth.)

FI turned the light off, then about two seconds later turned it back on to aggravate his toenails. When he finished, he said, "Are you ready for me to turn the light back off?"

I said, fully serious, "Is it on?" About a half-second later, we both realized what I said, and FI like, rolled away from me and put his face into the mattress and moaned unintelligible things for a full minute or so. While I sat over here trying to figure out why in the actual fuck I said that. I finally (jokingly) asked him if he still loved me "even though I'm so dumb." (He, of course, said, "Of course I still love you, and you aren't dumb. You just sometimes say the absolute DUMBEST things.")

ETA I realized it doesn't much sound like I have a point and I really don't. I just felt like bringing some laughter to y'all's days.

I'm more interested in what on earth this means.

I do NOT want to know.

He just keeps his nails really short (fingers and toes), it's not like he's stabbing at them or anything. I think he cuts them too often - thus, the term "aggravating".

climbingsingle

I said something really dumb the other day. H and I were driving and I saw a sign for seasoned firewood. I swear to god, I've never heard it called that before. And we heated our home growing up strictly with a wood burning stove. So I asked H if seasoned meant it was treated with spices to make it smell good. 

Yeah. 

theartistformerlyknownas

ClimbingBrideNY said:

I said something really dumb the other day. H and I were driving and I saw a sign for seasoned firewood. I swear to god, I've never heard it called that before. And we heated our home growing up strictly with a wood burning stove. So I asked H if seasoned meant it was treated with spices to make it smell good. 

Yeah. 

You get one of these. With love.

hellosweetie1015

ClimbingBrideNY said:

I said something really dumb the other day. H and I were driving and I saw a sign for seasoned firewood. I swear to god, I've never heard it called that before. And we heated our home growing up strictly with a wood burning stove. So I asked H if seasoned meant it was treated with spices to make it smell good. 

Yeah. 

Oh, yeah. Asked that before too. Thankfully not around FI, and it's been a little while, but I was still an adult and we also heated our house via wood-burning stove.

flutteringinfl

Last night I was nauseous and called my mom. I said, "It's probably dehydration because I went for a run and haven't had much water. But what if I'm pregnant???" Not that there's more than a miniscule change I'd get pregnant right now, but I'm neurotic and every time I don't feel well that's always a concern. My mom, as usual, explained all the reasons I was probably not pregnant. She said, "Are your boobs bigger or more tender? Then you're probably not pregnant."

I didn't tell FI about my "scare" because as soon as it was over I felt silly. But a few minutes after I hung up with my mom he came home for his work break. And like an idiot, I asked, "Do my boobs look bigger?"

He said, "No. Why do you ask?" I just looked away and said, "No reason." I'm sure he thought I was nuts or at the very least weird, and I instantly regretted asking.

At least you call lights on or off, OP. I picked up a habit of calling them "open" or "closed." It gets big snickers.

theycallmelinz

I forgot how many feet were in a meter. 

I ordered a new cord for my phone and thought I ordered one of those super long ones because for some reason Apple thinks you only need a foot-length to use your phone when it's charging. Well the new one came in, and its the same length as my old one. I'm like WTH? I look at the box it came in and it's all in Japanese or something because I ordered it bootleg for like $2, so I look at the order form and it says the cord is one meter. So I'm like WTH again? Why is this thing so short?!

FI comes home and sees it. The following conversation takes place:

FI: "I thought you ordered a long one."

Me: "Uh yeah. So did I. This thing was supposed to be a meter long."

FI: "Babe... it is a meter long. A meter is just over 3 feet."

DUH. I was thinking a meter was like 5 or 6 feet lol.

This was about a month ago and FI is still making fun of me for it.

mikenberger

Are you still a wee bit inebriated? 

flutteringinfl

If it helps, think of a time when he said/did something stupid. We all do!

Earlier this year, we were driving on the highway, and I got a flat tire. I pulled over and since I'd never gotten a flat before, panicked a little and blanked on what to do. FI says, "You have AAA, right? Give them a call." So I was like, oh yeah, and called them.

So I hang up and we're waiting, and FI says after a few minutes, "So...are they going to tow you to somewhere you can get a new tire?"

I said, "No...they're probably going to just put the spare on."

He says, "You have a spare?? Why didn't you tell me? I know how to change a tire!"

Now here's where it's important to note I drive a 2005 Honda CR-V. And if you know that car, you know that it's one of those models where the spare is actually displayed on the back of the car. So every time you see my car, you see the spare.

I said, "It's that big round thing hanging on the back of my car."

JaniV123

ClimbingBrideNY said:

I said something really dumb the other day. H and I were driving and I saw a sign for seasoned firewood. I swear to god, I've never heard it called that before. And we heated our home growing up strictly with a wood burning stove. So I asked H if seasoned meant it was treated with spices to make it smell good. 

Yeah. 

I wouldve asked the same thing, and I didn't know there were TYPES of firewood, I tought you just put any kind of wood in the fireplace and turn it on.... 

(It is incredibly obvious I have never had/used a fireplace, so when I move to the east coast in 3.5 years I will be the one making the silly questions, BEWARE)

theycallmelinz

JaniV123 said:

ClimbingBrideNY said:

I said something really dumb the other day. H and I were driving and I saw a sign for seasoned firewood. I swear to god, I've never heard it called that before. And we heated our home growing up strictly with a wood burning stove. So I asked H if seasoned meant it was treated with spices to make it smell good. 

Yeah. 

I wouldve asked the same thing, and I didn't know there were TYPES of firewood, I tought you just put any kind of wood in the fireplace and turn it on.... 

(It is incredibly obvious I have never had/used a fireplace, so when I move to the east coast in 3.5 years I will be the one making the silly questions, BEWARE)

So... I know there different types of firewood and that certain ones smell differently. And I know they probably don't 'season' the wood with spices... but I don't know what seasoned firewood means lol

ETA: We didn't heat our home with wood. That is my excuse for not knowing this, and I'm sticking to it.

hellosweetie1015

mikenberger said:

Are you still a wee bit inebriated? 

I should hope not, as my definition of "wee bit" comes from one lonely Angry Orchard I had at dinner.

princessofgenovia

Um...what is seasoned firewood?

We have our very first fireplace and we're both too terrified we'll kill ourselves trying to use it to actually use it. (I want one you turn on with a remote like in Clueless!)

luckya23

Seasoned means it's been dried out, usually left sitting out for a season.

It's cleaner burning to use in a fireplace, less smoke.

princessofgenovia

luckya23 said:

Seasoned means it's been dried out, usually left sitting out for a season.

It's cleaner burning to use in a fireplace, less smoke.

Ah ok good to know!

hellosweetie1015

theycallmelinz said:

JaniV123 said:

ClimbingBrideNY said:

I said something really dumb the other day. H and I were driving and I saw a sign for seasoned firewood. I swear to god, I've never heard it called that before. And we heated our home growing up strictly with a wood burning stove. So I asked H if seasoned meant it was treated with spices to make it smell good. 

Yeah. 

I wouldve asked the same thing, and I didn't know there were TYPES of firewood, I tought you just put any kind of wood in the fireplace and turn it on.... 

(It is incredibly obvious I have never had/used a fireplace, so when I move to the east coast in 3.5 years I will be the one making the silly questions, BEWARE)

So... I know there different types of firewood and that certain ones smell differently. And I know they probably don't 'season' the wood with spices... but I don't know what seasoned firewood means lol

ETA: We didn't heat our home with wood. That is my excuse for not knowing this, and I'm sticking to it.

"Seasoned" means, according to my dad, that it "sat out for a season" - i.e. dried. 

He could be wrong. He often is.

carrie0924

My all time favorite stupid moment.... when I BRILLIANTLY thought up Netflix for books. Like a loaner service where you could borrow a book, read it, and then return it, because buying every book you ever read is really really expensive. Fortunately, this thought reached it's full conclusion (LIBRARY!) within the confines of my own head in less than 10 seconds. But for a very brief moment in time, I thought I had a really brilliant, earth shattering concept.

theartistformerlyknownas

carrie0924 said:

My all time favorite stupid moment.... when I BRILLIANTLY thought up Netflix for books. Like a loaner service where you could borrow a book, read it, and then return it, because buying every book you ever read is really really expensive. Fortunately, this thought reached it's full conclusion (LIBRARY!) within the confines of my own head in less than 10 seconds. But for a very brief moment in time, I thought I had a really brilliant, earth shattering concept.

Well... if it worked through the mail, it would have benefit over the actual library. Ain't nobody got time to drive there.

steph861

One time when I was with some friends, somebody offered me some pop. My response was "no thanks, I'm driving." *face palm* 

(Another one of my friends actually did this too - the waitress looked at him like he was crazy.)

doeydo

luckya23 said:

Seasoned means it's been dried out, usually left sitting out for a season.

It's cleaner burning to use in a fireplace, less smoke.

Huh.  My family's first two houses were heated with firewood (until I was 15 or 16) and I have never heard of seasoned firewood.  We just call it firewood or more specifically dried out firewood. We wouldn't  use wood that was "fresh".

luckya23

Maybe it's a regional thing, I don't know!

I had never really even heard of heating a house with wood until I was talking with one of my neighbors who has a wood furnace.  He said he would burn anything, including stuff like old pallets.

I have a woodstove in my basement now that I haven't used, and my fireplace upstairs has only been used twice - both times by my granola roommate.

 

Aray82

I was searching for my ipod to run with for a good 20 minutes Saturday and DH said, "What about the wash? Maybe it's with your running clothes in there?" And I was all like "Of course it's not in the wash I would never be that dumb!!!" Aaaand guess where it was. 

It was out for a day and now it's working again. Whew!

jenna8984

carrie0924 said:

My all time favorite stupid moment.... when I BRILLIANTLY thought up Netflix for books. Like a loaner service where you could borrow a book, read it, and then return it, because buying every book you ever read is really really expensive. Fortunately, this thought reached it's full conclusion (LIBRARY!) within the confines of my own head in less than 10 seconds. But for a very brief moment in time, I thought I had a really brilliant, earth shattering concept.

This reminded me of when I was like 5 years old and was devastated to learn that I did not invent the round off cartwheel. hahah

But recently....I would always complain in my head about the accountant in our Singapore office taking SO long to respond to my emails. Like a full day. It wasn't until I flew to Asia that I realized it was the 12 hour time difference. DEEEEERRRR. 

lurkergirl

Something I did not said, but...

My garage door is messed up right now, so I have to open it manually.  I came home the other day and shut it, but couldn't get it down the last couple feet.  I inspected the tracks and couldn't find any jams or anything.  At one point I stood with one foot on my tailgate, the other on the door handle and jumped and bounced, but it wouldn't budge. 

FI comes home a little later, and he's like, "Soooooo....did you have trouble with the door?"  I'm all, "Yeah, it's just stuck, it's so weird, I looked and couldn't find anything, so I figured you could help me."  He then asked me if I had tried moving the large broom that was now jammed into the corner of the garage door.  Apparently my jumping managed to shove the plastic broom handle waaaay up into the door and break off a piece of it.  Whoopsie! 

God bless FI though, he could've been annoyed with me but instead just laughed it off.

themuffinman16

My niece asked if you could get pregnant by receiving a blood transfusion from a pregnant woman. She was 14 when she asked this.  Took health class in middle school, and again in high school.  It took me an hour to pick my jaw up off the floor.

theycallmelinz

themuffinman16 said:

My niece asked if you could get pregnant by receiving a blood transfusion from a pregnant woman. She was 14 when she asked this.  Took health class in middle school, and again in high school.  It took me an hour to pick my jaw up off the floor.

One of my clients (14 y.o.) informed me that if you drink salt water, it will get rid of a fertilized egg and you 'won't be pregnant'. 

jenna8984

@lurkergirl that is hilarious!! DH just got a snowblower and put it on the drivers side of the garage which is super narrow. So the first time I was pulling in, I was fixated on the snowblower and making sure I was far enough away to not hit it. BAAAM. Smacked my passenger side mirror on the entrance since I wasn't paying attention to that side. hahahah