Accommodations

lunardaydreaming

Dear Well Informed on Etiquette Ladies (and maybe gents),

 I have a question about accommodation etiquette! Most of our guests will need to book rooms to stay. FI and I decided not to see each other before the wedding, so after the rehearsal dinner he's going to stay somewhere else! Here's the dilemma. My future in laws booked a 2 bedroom rental condo where future sister in law and her husband will stay with them. FI has a single adult brother who is FI's best man, as well. My future mother in law asked my step dad what my parents were going to do about FI's brother, as far as where he would be staying. I'm a little confused by this. I figured it was his responsibility, and would be staying where the other groomsmen would be staying. My parents are paying for our wedding (we are so blessed, fortunate and grateful by the way), and they don't think they should be worried about FI's family's accommodations other than me providing them with accurate information. Are they right??


Thanks,
Uncertain

lyndausvi

Your FBIL is responsible for his own accommodations.

Not sure where your FI is staying, but maybe they can room together the night before?  My DH shared a room with his mom the night before.  Cut down on expenses.

novella1186

Your parents only need to worry about where themselves are staying (is that even correct grammar? Sorry but vodka). It's not up to them or you to figure out where FI's brother is going to stay. He's an adult. He can book his own room or rent his own condo.

That's kind of weird that your in-laws are expecting your parents to figure something out? Maybe they mean that your parents might have made a room block at a hotel and they just want the info for the block??

lavenderfields13

Wait, your in laws think it's your parents' responsibilty to find a place for their son to stay?

Did I read that wrong?

lavenderfields13

Anyway, I agree with lynda, can he stay with your FI?

lunardaydreaming

Thank you all. I just wanted to make sure I wasn't committing some faux pas, lol. I'm not actually sure whether that's what they expect. Maybe they just meant in general what will be done about his accommodations. I'm not sure ha ha. I did block rooms off at the various hotels and gave FMIL all the information. @lyndausvi, great idea I think that's what I am going to suggest.

climbingsingle

Wha???? That's really bizarre. Your FBIL is responsible for his own accomodations, not your parents. 

southernbelle0915

Um, why does your FMIL think it's YOUR parents' responsibility to find somewhere for her adult son to stay? How bizarre. 

Etiquette wise, adults (all adults, no matter who they are) are responsible for their own accommodations. Your FI (not you or your step dad) should follow up with FBIL and FMIL to let them know that FBIL is on his own for figuring out accommodations. 

MandyMost

As much as it's an adult's responsibility to figure out their own accommodations, some adults are idiots and procrastinators. If you know that one of your VIPs falls into this category and will likely cause some drama around the wedding because they have no place to stay, it's in your best interest to help them out if you can. My brother has kids, who were not invited to either the rehearsal dinner or the wedding. Yes, it was none of my business how they figured out the logistics and babysitting. But I knew they'd be calling me the day before all "Oh, can we bring the kids?" or "Sorry, we can't come" if I didn't help them out. So (with my mom's help) we made sure they had a plan. My mom also booked them a hotel room at the block, in case they decided they wanted to stay, and then canceled it only a few days out since they didn't end up wanting it.

So, obviously it's not your parents responsibility to figure out anyone's lodging. But if you think this guy is gonna cause problems, you might as well just step up and do something about it now, to save yourself the trouble at the time of the wedding. No, it's not the correct etiquette rule...but it might be the best thing for your sanity. 

JennyColada

I don't consider accommodations to be a part of the wedding, so just because your parents are handling all other wedding stuff does not make it their responsibility to handle accommodations for all the wedding party or guests.

huskypuppy14

MandyMost said:

As much as it's an adult's responsibility to figure out their own accommodations, some adults are idiots and procrastinators. If you know that one of your VIPs falls into this category and will likely cause some drama around the wedding because they have no place to stay, it's in your best interest to help them out if you can. My brother has kids, who were not invited to either the rehearsal dinner or the wedding. Yes, it was none of my business how they figured out the logistics and babysitting. But I knew they'd be calling me the day before all "Oh, can we bring the kids?" or "Sorry, we can't come" if I didn't help them out. So (with my mom's help) we made sure they had a plan. My mom also booked them a hotel room at the block, in case they decided they wanted to stay, and then canceled it only a few days out since they didn't end up wanting it.

So, obviously it's not your parents responsibility to figure out anyone's lodging. But if you think this guy is gonna cause problems, you might as well just step up and do something about it now, to save yourself the trouble at the time of the wedding. No, it's not the correct etiquette rule...but it might be the best thing for your sanity. 

I don't agree with enabling people, sorry.