I'm Irritated...

ShellD13

So H and I knew that we wanted a small intimate wedding with just our closest family (we ended up with 12 people at the wedding including us).  Don't get me wrong I love big weddings but I knew that the big blow out wasn't for us not to mention that I'd helped my sisters plan their weddings and I just wanted simple for my own.  H and I had also committed to a very small budget.  We loved our wedding.

So recently a friend of ours also got engaged and posted on FB about looking for a non-traditional venue that was CHEAP.  H read the post and commented that they might want to look into where we got married because it met all of his criteria (CHEAP and non-traditional - its also beautiful in the summer time).  Well one of the other commenters started bagging on our venue in really harsh terms.  Whatever happened to tact?  I understand everyone is welcome to their opinion but I really don't think you have to shred something/someone else to get your point across...

maeday2

Weddings are personal. Your venue means something to you both and if the tactless commenter can't see that, screw them. 

emmaaa

It is so sad that common sense is not no common anymore. There could have been a much better way to respond saying they didn't like the venue in a tactful way, as you said.

sarawifenow

I find the best way that I have found to catch people like this off guard is to say this:

 

Couggal12

I don't get people like that. If I had an issue with a place someone on FB liked but, I had a horrible experience with I would PM that person and mention it. I get people are entitled to their opinions but, you should also exercise some tact once in awhile.  

ShellD13

Thanks all - I promise I'm not a SS but when someone offers a suggestion and someone else doesn't care for it. I get it... but can't you just say "that worked for them but I ruled it out because of x,y,z vs. That place is ugly, etc?

novella1186

That is really annoying. Yeah they're allowed to say what they want, but even then I see no point in being tactless and rude. They could have just suggested some other place. Some people like to bash shit, though. 

My dad always does that to me. I was single-handedly organizing a huge charity event a few years ago and he kept making a point of letting me know I was doing everything wrong and I was going to fail. He actually kept saying I was going to fail. I finally said "You can work to help improve it or you can shut the fuck up about it." He did nothing to help me, and the event was a huge success. 

But that's how I feel about bashers: Try to fix it, or shut the fuck up about it. No need to rip something apart for no reason. 

kmbay84

I also don't think that is ok @ShellD13!

I wholeheartedly agree with you @novella1186!  There is no point in being rude about it, just none.  That is just quite annoying and probably didn't make you feel very good @ShellD13!  I agree that some people just like to bash.  Wow, I am sorry that you went through that @novella1186!  I agree that mantra of help fix it or shut up, stop needlessly criticizing.  There is a way to be tactful about it without making people feel like crap about their own wedding.  So rude!
Weddings are extremely personal and everyone different tastes!  Don't bash on people for their tastes.  We do not all want the same thing.  I feel like some people just don't get that.  How crappy to feel cruddy about your tastes and your preferences for your own wedding.

One of my pet peeves is when people are rude like that about other people's weddings!   There is so much work that goes into a wedding and I don't believe that anyone has a right to critique another couple's choice of venue, decorations, dresses, style, etc.   Was it your wedding? No!  Unless you are being treated terribly, then just respect the couple's tastes, have a good time, and move on!

/rant

danamw

I think "everyone is entitled to their opinion" mantra applies in non-personal things. In something very meaningful like a wedding, tact should be used. If someone hated that venue, they don't have to say anything. Everyone may be entitled to an opinion, but it doesn't mean everyone else wants to hear it.

My wedding was at my in-laws home, we had food cooked by my sisters in law (and no one asked them to do it, they wanted to) and I got flak for it. The day was great. People who expressed scorn, were not invited.

larrygaga

emmaaa said:

It is so sad that common sense is not no common anymore. There could have been a much better way to respond saying they didn't like the venue in a tactful way, as you said.

A common thought was that non-white people would give white people diseases if they used the same toilets. So common sense has never really been a thing.