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Breaking the news to grandma (advice needed)

Some of y’all may remember my dress regret threads a while back. Basically, my grandma came down to where I live to go dress shopping with me, and I ended up buying a dress that I realized I didn’t like at all. Grandma kept telling me to put that dress back on again, and the sales lady insisted that it would probably be gone if I left and came back later. I got caught up in all the feels and I caved in, and immediately regretted it. It wasn’t the shape or color that I wanted, and there were a lot of little things that weren’t right, but the sales lady told me those things could be easily fixed. I took the dress to a seamstress and she said that some of the issues couldn't be fixed at all. Other changes were doable but very costly. I didn’t want to spend that much money on alterations for a dress that still wouldn't be what I wanted, so I ended up finding a new dress on clearance and I love it.

So now I have to tell my grandma that I've decided not to wear the dress we bought, and I don’t know how to go about it. She really loved that dress. I don’t want to hurt her feelings, especially since she traveled all the way here to shop with me. So, what’s the best way to go about that conversation? Of course I don’t want to tell her “I hate the dress we picked so I bought a new one” but I’m not sure how to spin it to sound better. Any advice would be much appreciated.

TLDR: I went dress shopping with my grandma, got pressured into buying a dress and realized I hated it. So I bought a new dress that I love. How do I tell my grandma?

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Re: Breaking the news to grandma (advice needed)

  • I would just tell grandma that you found a dress that you love more than the other. Tell her how good it makes you feel to be in the dress. Maybe her seeing/hearing how happy you are and how great you feel about yourself will make it so that she has all those feelings for you, too.

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  • I'm sure your Grandma just wants you to be happy in a dress. I would just be totally honest with her. 
  • I would be (nicely) honest.  Your grandmother is an adult, she should respect your decision.  Make it super nice and about how you feel SO perfect in the new dress.  I would say something like

     "Grandma, remember how we bought that dress together?  Well when I went back and tried it again, I decided it really wasn't the right dress for me and ended up finding something new.  I would love to show it to you if you want to see it!  I'm so happy and feel like the perfect bride in it."  


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  • Just be nice and honest about it. And emphasize how special it was to you that she came to shop with you even if the dress you bought together ended up not being the one. I think your grandma will understand. She just wants you to be happy.



  • Be sure to include that the original dress has been returned and you are all set with your new one. Don't leave any windows/doors open for future grandma-ly pushing towards a dress you don't like.
    --

    I'm the fuck
    out.

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  • Is there anything the new dress has in common with what she liked about the old one? I might throw in something like "I remembered what you said about the thing with the stuff, and this new dress has an even better thing with even prettier stuff, and I just know you'll love it!" Then she might feel like she even indirectly helped you choose this one.

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  • You got this. Other PP's have given you perfect advice, and I'll add that if it helps you stress less, just remember your Grandma loves you and if for some reason she has a problem with your decision, she's going to look pretty petty telling people, "She decided not to buy the dress that I wanted." But she probably won't do that.
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  • Agree with PPs. Honesty is the best policy.

    "Grandma, I'm so glad you were able to go dress shopping with me. I guess I got caught up in the moment because when I put the dress on later, I just didn't feel like me... I know you really liked that dress but I found this dress that has x,y, and z kind of similar to the other expect it fits ME more."

  • Yep. What the PPs said. Shoot her straight.

    Because I'm nosy and curious, can we see the two dresses? 

  • Yep. What the PPs said. Shoot her straight.

    Because I'm nosy and curious, can we see the two dresses? 
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  • blabla89 said:

    Yep. What the PPs said. Shoot her straight.

    Because I'm nosy and curious, can we see the two dresses? 
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    Not sure which is the one you ended up with, but the second one pictured is gorgeous!  First one is nice, but I don't love the cap sleeve looking thing.

  • I think also mentioning "I bought it with the understanding that xyz could be done to the dress, but it turns out those things can't be done. I wasn't in love with the way it is in its current state but loved the way I thought it could be. Since those things can't be done, I found another dress I like." That is less about the dress choice and more about the limitations of the dress.
  • I definitely agree with PP - your grandma just wants you to be happy in the end. Honesty is the best approach. 
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