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Putting the Job Search on Pause

Hi all,

I've been job searching for months now. I've gotten a few interviews but no luck yet and my recruiter hasn't been much help. The wedding is coming up soon in March and the positions I've been applying for have a starting date in January or February. FI sat me down last night and told me I need stop looking for now because if I do end up getting hired someplace, they're probably not going to let me take the time off for the wedding and honeymoon we already put non-refundable deposits into after only working for a month or 2 and that I may have to quit just to get married. I see his point and I talked to my parents about it and they agree so the job search is on pause and I'm trying to do some freelancing for now (although I may not get any clients).

So that's pretty much settled, but I have a question for those of you who were/are job seekers while being engaged. At what point did you put your job search on hold for your wedding if you did?

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Re: Putting the Job Search on Pause

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    My FI is in a similar position. His job may be ending at the end of the year but we don't know for sure. He has the same concern about taking time off, so his plan is to try to negotiate some extra time off when he receives an offer. If that doesn't work we'll postpone the honeymoon until fall when he's accrued some vacation time.
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    I did that. We decided to move a month before the wedding, and while I sent off some applications, I didn't pursue things really until the wedding was over. I had the same concern- I was afraid immediately saying I needed time off for a wedding and honeymoon would put me in the nope pile.
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    I went through some temp agencies and made it clear that I needed x amount of time off in August.  It wasn't a big deal, and I actually did end up finding a place that was cool with that.  Although H and I did sit down and discuss what was more important to us: if I found a job that would NOT give me time off and losing the deposit (but I would be employed) or taking the honeymoon right after the wedding as planned and me still being unemployed.  

    Of course, I was hired in....March, I think and the wedding was in August, so there was still quite a bit of time to figure things out.
    Anniversary

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    I don't think there's any harm in continuing the search, as long as you let them know the time you'll need off. Worst they could say is no, and you'll be in no different situation than you are now.

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    What Lolo said. Why stop? It's been a long time since I've been in the traditional workforce but I thought these things could be negotiated. If they wanted you bad enough they'd work with you on these things. Unless you're planning like a 6 month honeymoon. But even then it isn't out of the realm of possibility for them to hold a position for you. And worst case they say they can't give you the time off and you decline the job. Also, what type of freelance work do you do? Maybe some of us would have connections for you.
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    I've made offers to three people this year who all needed time off for weddings that were within 3-7 months of their start dates. Some were paid, some weren't, depending on their negotiating skills.

    I think you should keep looking and then discuss time off once you have an offer. You can always turn it down if they won't agree to time off- you'd still be unemployed like you are now, so not really any worse off...
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    When I was interviewing, I got great advice from Knotties here to mention the honeymoon time off if/when I was offered the job, not during the interview. So when my manager called and said have some time to think about it, please call with any questions, give me your decision in 3 days.... I called her the next day and said I do have a question, I am deciding between jobs and need this time off. Doable? And she was actually cool with it, I had a full week paid time off. (Well it was my accrued PTO).

    Don't stop looking! Keep at it and tell them how it's gonna be. I'm gonna have a job, and I'm also gonna have this particular time off.

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    lc07 said:
    What Lolo said. Why stop? It's been a long time since I've been in the traditional workforce but I thought these things could be negotiated. If they wanted you bad enough they'd work with you on these things. Unless you're planning like a 6 month honeymoon. But even then it isn't out of the realm of possibility for them to hold a position for you. And worst case they say they can't give you the time off and you decline the job. Also, what type of freelance work do you do? Maybe some of us would have connections for you.
    I'm a product designer. The thing is I graduated in August and have no work experience other than a summer internship so that's already put me in the nope pile in most places where I am and there aren't a whole lot of jobs for the field here that aren't start up companies (the last couple of interviews I've been on were companies that were just starting a design team and was clear that I would not be able to get time off for quite a while). FI promised I could expand the job search after our week-long honeymoon because he wouldn't be opposed to relocating if I could get a job somewhere else after we're married so we're hoping that would turn up something.

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    DH got laid off in late January and our wedding was early April. He had enough weeks of severance to cover not working until after the wedding. However, he didn't want to have this big unemployment gap on his resume so he did keep looking for a job that whole time. The majority of employers were very understanding about needing time off soon after being hired for the wedding. He was able to negotiate start date with one company so it was after the wedding and immediately after his severance ending, so that was the job he took. 

    I think there is no harm in continuing to look and if you get an offer you can try to negotiate the time off.

    Anniversary
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    I should add in my situation I am a pretty disposable health care shift worker, so YMMV.
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