NWR: Still fighting the good fight (NYE party invite) - UPDATE!

kmmssg

What a disaster!  The one sarcastic thing that flies in the back of my mind is that you can get a white dress to wear at goodwill in the wedding dress section.  Based on the rest of the shit show in their invitation, I think that would be hysterical.

climbingsingle

And what about people that have to work that day? I guess I should just leave my job to drop off my food for your party! Makes perfect sense. 

These people really have balls. 

loveislouder

I do not wear white. Ever. It just looks terrible. I would not go.

Get this: I was invited to a Christmas party for FI's Grandma, who is in a nursing home. It an an e-mail invite, to MY e-mail, addressed to my FI and "girlfriend." Also, it's a pot luck, bring your own drinks (pop, coffee, whatever), a $2.00 charge for plates and cutlery, you ahve to bring a gift for the gift exchange, and one for Grandma. If you don't bring all the required items, you won't be allowed in.  I don't wan to go, but it may be his Grandma's last Christmas.

JellyBean52513

loveislouder said:

I do not wear white. Ever. It just looks terrible. I would not go.

Get this: I was invited to a Christmas party for FI's Grandma, who is in a nursing home. It an an e-mail invite, to MY e-mail, addressed to my FI and "girlfriend." Also, it's a pot luck, bring your own drinks (pop, coffee, whatever), a $2.00 charge for plates and cutlery, you ahve to bring a gift for the gift exchange, and one for Grandma. If you don't bring all the required items, you won't be allowed in.  I don't wan to go, but it may be his Grandma's last Christmas.

My face right now is something like my jaw on the floor. 

JellyBean52513

thisismynickname said:

I'm with PrettyGirlLost when it comes to potlucks.  Plus, if you're deciding to have a party, you should take on the responsibility of all the major dishes.  For example, we have friends who routinely do a 4th of July party-- they supply the meat for the barbecue and a couple side dishes, and friends bring the rest of the side dishes or desserts or chips and dip.  There's a line here, guys! And the people in the OP's story have totally crossed it. Jerks!

I really just can't with those people. They sound like micromanaging cheap asses. 

Cheap, oh that much is clear. I don't think it's micromanaging so much as it is a complete lack of consideration and/or understanding that giving your guests directions to follow is totally inappropriate. So, not micromanaging like my terrible boss whose mom (my boss-boss) didn't want any of us to wear jeans to the shower (guess who showed up in jeans: me!) but rather total ignorance about what is ok and what is not ok.

Then again, I do try to keep the "know your circle" concept in mind. I've only been a part of this family for 2.5 years at this point. For all I know, this could be how these particular family members do things regularly, and my boyfriend never knew because he's been single for a while before me and therefore never qualified for an invite! Lol 

[Deleted User]

So has someone been assigned as the back-up beer provider? *smh*

jenna8984

FeeleyToBe said:

So has someone been assigned as the back-up beer provider? *smh*

For real. I quit drinking 7 years ago and DH quit 4 years ago. So if they assigned us booze, I'd show up with 2 cases of water. With no advance warning. Fucking douchecanoes. 

mrscomposer

So... you're supposed to go drop off whatever you had to provide (and for how many people, anyway?), and then go back home, and then go BACK for the actual party?  How are the roads going to be?  I think they might be icy and I could only make it once, if at all.  So sorry.

Also - the only white dress I have is spaghetti strap and comes mid-thigh.  My husband loves it because it makes me look super boobsy, but it's not so good for a winter party.  I ain't buying anything else, so the only other white option I have is my wedding dress.  So... *shrugs*  you asked me to wear it.

wrigleyville

Tell her you can't go because you're not supposed to wear white after Labor Day.

I really hate when people demand I buy something for a party, knowing it will only get worn once. Fuck that. I don't care if I can get it at Goodwill; I am not spending money on clothes I'll never wear again just because you demand it. (Halloween costumes are an obvious exception.)

I don't mind if someone says, "Hey, we're having an Ugly Christmas Sweater party on the 20th, but feel free to wear whatever you want." I don't mind theme parties if people are chill about it.

HaileyDancingbear

wrigleyville said:

What the everloving fuck? I'm glad you guys are declining.

The "couples only" thing pissed me off. I was single for many years (by choice), and I was constantly excluded from things because most of my friends were in relationships. I finally cornered someone to ask why, and they said, "Well, we just feel so bad for you, being single and surrounded by all those couples. Isn't it awkward and painful?" 

I told her they didn't have to "feel bad" for me, because I was happy, but being excluded from things made me really sad and angry. Why the fuck wouldn't you want to hang out with a supposedly good friend just because they're single? Singledom isn't leprosy.

I ended up finding a new group of friends who loved having me around and didn't treat me like a 3rd/5th/7th wheel. Once I met H, I continued to invite my single friends to everything because - duh - they're my friends.

I am happy to be in a relationship with FI and couldn't imagine my life any other way.  But even then, I think it's fucking stupid to assume any single person is "Sad" in any way shape or form.  

Single can mean anything.  Single can mean you're looking, but haven't found the right person, or it could mean you're just fucking happy being single. I'm not stupid enough to view myself as if imitating my life is the only way to happiness- I'm thrilled to walk down the aisle, but if a friend of mine never marries and remains single, that is in no way shape or form a bad thing, because we're different people with different desires.  

I hate when people, the second they're in a relationship, decide all their single friends must be sad and envious.  Fuck that.  Everyone wants different things out of life, and "Single" is never a bad thing.  "Single" is a hell of a lot better than "settling" anyway, which unfortunately a lot of people  seem to do when they decide "Single" is a death sentence for some dumb reason.

hyechica81

ha i hope she gets a lot of declines and no one shows up with the right food or dress code. this whole party sounds like a big clusterfk to me. 

as for the beer if she said you are in charge of beer i would go to the store get the most inexpensive beer and get a 6 pack hey host did not specify how many and i would bring it as i was walking in to the party not make a special trip before hand to drop it off.. 

my guess is said host wanted to have a fancy party but could not afford it so they are providing the house a dish or two of food and they expect everyone else to get the food and foot the bill which is very rude and tacky...

Bubblegum5586

wrigleyville said:

Tell her you can't go because you're not supposed to wear white after Labor Day.

I really hate when people demand I buy something for a party, knowing it will only get worn once. Fuck that. I don't care if I can get it at Goodwill; I am not spending money on clothes I'll never wear again just because you demand it. (Halloween costumes are an obvious exception.)

I don't mind if someone says, "Hey, we're having an Ugly Christmas Sweater party on the 20th, but feel free to wear whatever you want." I don't mind theme parties if people are chill about it.

I don't mind suggestions for a theme. Like for New Years last year it was suggested to wear something sparkly or sequin. And even "green and white" I would roll my eyes at but I could prob put something together... But a WHITE DRESS with green... wayyyy too specific. I will take suggestions but don't plan my outfit!

Fairyjen1

    The potluck thing doesn't bother me. We have potlucks in my circle all the time. Sometimes there's a theme, (Italian, BBQ) and sometimes I get asked if I would bring cupcakes (I'm known for my cupcakes) , but these are usually more casual gatherings without a dress code and no specific time things have to be dropped off. For our family gatherings whoever is hosting provides the main meal and usually asks some of us to bring appetizers, desserts, etc. 

   Everything else is enough to make me not go to that Party.

      That said, I am going to a murder mystery dinner party for New Years Eve and we have all been given characters to play, so we will be in costume. We are all theater people going, though so we all have costumes or know where to get one. I think it's the nature of that type of party and the host only invited people he knew like that sort of thing (I'll pretty much jump into a costume for any reason!). Food and Drink are fully hosted, and SO's were asked by name so he covered it got it right in that sense.

   

JellyBean52513

I have an update!! My SO told him that his mom went to this party and there was practically nobody there because the invitation was so stupid and annoyed so many of the family lol I did see a couple pictures that his little sister posted (odd, because she's 15 and I thought it was couples & adults only!), and while she did do the white and green outfit, she wore pants & shirt. 

There ya go, lurkers.... your controlling, dictating, rude invitations will not be appreciated!