Vent:This makes you an @ss!

banana468

I belong to some natural family planning groups. They're generally Catholic groups and only advise doing church sanctioned methods of avoiding pregnancy.

The other day, someone started an OT thread about wedding planning and it pissed me off so much to see the same people saying that they only do what God wants them to do advocating for A and B lists, tiered receptions and splitting up social units. One bride to be mentioned that she will only invite both halves of a couple if she and her FI like them.

I really want to yell, "Do you really think that God is cool with you treating your guests like crap???"

novella1186

Wow. It's one thing to be an asshole. It's another thing to blame it on God. I'm not religious, but I'm pretty sure I know God well enough to know he would not be cool with rude shit. 

southernbelle0915

Yea people using religion to justify crappy things is definitely on the list of things that makes me SUPER stabby. 

Those are generally the people giving organized religion a bad rep. Using it to excuse/justify prejudice, poor behavior, or in this case poor treatment of guests (really?). Basically whatever suits their preconceived notions or agenda. Not a fan. Sorry you had to deal with it first hand, banana.

lacqueredlover

I love when people are assholes but preach about god and Jesus (who if I"m not mistaken was all for being a generally nice, respectful person.)  

I'm pretty sure if there is a god, he/she doesn't give a shit about wedding planning.  I would like to think a deity has better things to spend their time on.

banana468

They're not using religion to justify breaking etiquette. But they're all about not sinning. How is treating your nearest and dearest like shit NOT a sin? Sure there isn't anything in the Bible about splitting social units or sending out second string invitations but I just question the thinking that makes one think that a BCP user is making a terrible decision but inviting only half of a couple is somehow fine.

[Deleted User]

theartistformerlyknownas

Preach it, sister.

carrie0924

People suck. And what is a tiered reception?

lovedryn

southernbelle0915 said:

Yea people using religion to justify crappy things is definitely on the list of things that makes me SUPER stabby. 

Those are generally the people giving organized religion a bad rep. Using it to excuse/justify prejudice, poor behavior, or in this case poor treatment of guests (really?). Basically whatever suits their preconceived notions or agenda. Not a fan. Sorry you had to deal with it first hand, banana.

I second this. I cannot stand it when people try to twist religion to fit their douchebaggery.

larrygaga

The types of Christians who blame God for everything they do are an embarrassment and gives us all a bad rep.

Sugargirl1019

Do it. And use the word shit too. Also post a link directing them to the Etiquette page.

Sugargirl1019

@carrie0924‌ A tiered reception is when only say 15 guests are invited to the ceremony and then the other 85 only attend the reception. Or if you invite people to show up to your reception "after dinner".

dcbride86

Granted, I'm Jewish and I'm not super knowledgable about Jesus, but... I've never heard of God advocating B-listing. 

kerbohl

Jesus promoted loving everyone.  Tiering/B-listing/inviting only parts of couples shows a lack of love to people.  Ergo, Jesus does not promote tiered receptions, b-listing, or not inviting both parties of a couple.  Ah, logic. 

theartistformerlyknownas

That's the painting we're missing after the Last Supper - all the B-list friends Jesus only invited to the dance party portion of the evening. 

KatieinBkln

Jesus will literally invite the whole town and then perform a miracle if there isn't enough food, so...yeah. Your Anti-Baby-the-HOLY-Way buddies are all full of shit. 

ETA: thinking about it, Jesus was all about proper hosting! His first miracle was to save the day at a wedding when they were almost out of wine, for His Own Sake! 

theartistformerlyknownas

KatieinBkln said:

Jesus will literally invite the whole town and then perform a miracle if there isn't enough food, so...yeah. Your Anti-Baby-the-HOLY-Way buddies are all full of shit. 

ETA: thinking about it, Jesus was all about proper hosting! His first miracle was to save the day at a wedding when they were almost out of wine, for His Own Sake! 

Partial cash bar/capped tab? BE GONE, SINNERS!

chibiyui

Sugargirl1019 said:

Do it. And use the word shit too. Also post a link directing them to the Etiquette page.

I wonder if linking to Ettiqute Hell would cause them to reach for their smelling salts?

wrigleyville

I was going to make the point about the water/wine thing too. Since someone already covered that, I'll just leave this here.

chocolateygabs

Grrr. Plus, they already know that God is going to want everyone there as it is a community event.  Technically, the entire parish is invited to the ceremony to come help bless the couple.  They know better, and, as you said, treating guests poorly is a sin, venial, but a sin.

@banana468, I know this was originally a vent about these groups :-D, but do you have some in particular you would recommend?  We are also NFP (Marquette Method) and I have been trying to find some online groups to peruse. Thanks!

holyguacamole79

I'm now searching through my NFP groups to see if I see those threads ....

OMG, I found it!!!!!  

banana468

I will send you a PM to the group. I generally like it but this one topic is making me crazy.

I'm actually still trying to sell DH on Marquette.

holyguacamole79

I already PMed you.  If it's what I think it is, I'm already an admin of that group

flantastic

The cognitive dissonance here.

Banana, is the general NFP motivation articulated in the group positive or negative? i.e. we're all about the selflessness that comes with being open to life and planning responsibly, OR we're trying to see when we can have sex without a baby and without being sinful.

Because being drawn out of one's own little world to treat other people with love and respect does apply to all things, including one's wedding. Yikes.

holyguacamole79

@flantastic - the group is moderately good (at least, I think).  It's a mix of asking questions about stuff, venting about TTA, and other faith-related discussions.  I'll PM you the link.

chocolateygabs

Thanks!  I like it, except for the whole basal body temp thing because I am so bad at it right now.  Maybe I should make it my New Year's Resolution.  It's hard to remember to not get out of bed early in the morning, especially when I have to answer the phone for a subbing job. I really should work on all that...

banana468

I was taking my BBT pre pregnancy. Now at nearly 4 mo PP, getting consistent sleep is a joke. That's why I'm pushing Marquette. For me, I really want to be true to my faith while also TTA. I know several large families but I feel that we need to abstain for at least the time being.   

This is all fairly new to me and it's a bit of a shock to the system for DH. 

PrettyGirlLost

chocolateygabs

I have had a pretty good sense of my cycle between the CM checks and the Clearblue monitor.  The monitor was a one time purchase, and I have to buy a box of test sticks every three months.  They look prohibitively expensive ($65 for a box) but once the monitor gets to know you, it's only ten test sticks a month.

I also like the charting because it's given me a lot information about my body and what is going on and when it usually happens.  It's nice to have that consistency.

Marquette does have an NFP website/forum: http://nfp.marquette.edu/forum/ The doctor behind all this research and some of nursing assistants do respond to questions.  I have perused it and found that there are quite a few women with post partum questions, which seems to have a different protocol.  We're TTA right now as well, and since I don't have kids, I find the PP protocol a bit confusing, but probably since I don't need it righ tnow.  

wrigleyville

Does TTA = "Trying to Avoid"?

holyguacamole79

wrigleyville said:

Does TTA = "Trying to Avoid"?

Yes.  TTA = Trying to Avoid.  TTC = Trying to Conceive.  TTW = Trying to Whatever (meaning you're not explicitly trying to concieve nor prevent conception.)