How to word escort cards?

dcbride86

Hi!  I'm wondering how I should word my escort cards - my wedding is more formal, so I want to put "Mr./Ms./Mrs."  I'm not sure which is correct:

 

 

1. Mr. and Mrs. Jane and John Smith

 

2. Mr. John Smith

Mrs. Jane Smith

 

3. Mrs. Jane Smith

Mr. John Smith

 

Also - if the kids aren't sitting with their parents, should I put siblings all on one escort card?  Thanks so much!

ambiguousbride

For married couples I would put

Mr. & Mrs. John Smith (seems more formal)

For dating couples

Mr. John Smith & Ms. Jane Smith (also here I would put whomever you invited, not their date, on the card first)



And for the children I think they would get a kick out of having their own cards, I think it would make them feel more included (sometimes kids feel left out at weddings)

dcbride86

ambiguousbride said:

For married couples I would put

Mr. & Mrs. John Smith (seems more formal)

For dating couples

Mr. John Smith & Ms. Jane Smith (also here I would put whomever you invited, not their date, on the card first)



And for the children I think they would get a kick out of having their own cards, I think it would make them feel more included (sometimes kids feel left out at weddings)

@ambiguousbride - thanks!  That's a good point about the kids and escort cards!  I was mostly concerned that the parents would get annoyed by having to keep track of 3 escort cards instead of 1 haha

 

My only hesitation with putting the more formal one is that I don't know if some women get offended by their first name being left off.  Do some women get offended by that?

Also, if they're married but have different last names, is this right?:

Mr. John Smith & Ms. Jane Doe

 

Thank you so much!

ambiguousbride

I don't think they would really be offended (they did choose to take their husbands name after all) but yes for couples that have different last names I would do
Mr. John Smith & Ms. Jane Doe


also quick revise on my first answer

I think if the woman is single it should be "Miss" not "Ms."

Jen4948

ambiguousbride said:

I don't think they would really be offended (they did choose to take their husbands name after all) but yes for couples that have different last names I would do
Mr. John Smith & Ms. Jane Doe


also quick revise on my first answer

I think if the woman is single it should be "Miss" not "Ms."

Actually, it really depends on what the woman herself goes by.  But I'd use "Ms." and not "Miss" as a default.  Many single women do not like using a title that announces their marital status.  Ms. can be used by all women, single or married.

labro

For most married couples I did Mr. and Mrs. John Smith (this was mostly for the older adults, some of my friends I wrote out as Mr. and Mrs. John and Jane Smith). For H's great-grandmother who is super formal and who came by herself (his great-grandfather wasn't feeling well enough to make a 5 hour flight) I did Mrs. John Smith. For children I did separate escort cards. For single adult women I put down Ms. Jane Johnson. For female children I wrote their name as Miss Jenna James. I think Miss is meant only for women under the age of 18. If you're an adult then you are either a Ms. or a Mrs.

dcbride86

ambiguousbride said:

I don't think they would really be offended (they did choose to take their husbands name after all) but yes for couples that have different last names I would do
Mr. John Smith & Ms. Jane Doe


also quick revise on my first answer

I think if the woman is single it should be "Miss" not "Ms."

Most single women I know prefer "Ms.", actually

MairePoppy

I prefer that my husband and I be addressed as Maire and James Poppy. I have never signed my name as Mrs. James Poppy, but I'm not offended when others address me that way because it's the standard 'proper' etiquette.

kipper88

Personally, I would be offended at being called Mrs. John Smith.  I'm my own individual person.  I am not my FH.  I may take his last name, but I have my own first name.

Cookie Pusher

Our wedding was more on the casual side, so we did either HisFirst & HerFirst LastName or HisFirst HisLast & HerFirst HerLast depending on the situation.

[Deleted User]

LaPeanut1018 said:

For most married couples I did Mr. and Mrs. John Smith (this was mostly for the older adults, some of my friends I wrote out as Mr. and Mrs. John and Jane Smith). For H's great-grandmother who is super formal and who came by herself (his great-grandfather wasn't feeling well enough to make a 5 hour flight) I did Mrs. John Smith. For children I did separate escort cards. For single adult women I put down Ms. Jane Johnson. For female children I wrote their name as Miss Jenna James. I think Miss is meant only for women under the age of 18. If you're an adult then you are either a Ms. or a Mrs.

The bolded has always weirded me out.  Mrs. John?  Here, you're not just separating a man's first name from his last name, but you're also calling him Mrs.  I think it would be Mrs. Jane and Mr. John Smith.

CMGragain

The title "Mrs." is only put with a lady's first name if she is a divorcee.  A married woman's first name is preceded by the title "Ms."

Mr. and Mrs. John Doe
Ms. Jane Doe and Mr. John Doe
Ms. Jane Smith and Mr. John Doe  (married but with different last names)

Ms. Jane Smith
Mr. John Doe    (unmarried couples)

Mrs. (Ms.) Jane Smith  (divorcee)

Mrs. John Doe  (widow)

CMGragain

kipper88 said:

Personally, I would be offended at being called Mrs. John Smith.  I'm my own individual person.  I am not my FH.  I may take his last name, but I have my own first name.

You may want to back off being offended if someone mistakenly uses proper etiquette and calls you by your title, Mrs. John Smith.  Your name is, of course, Mary Smith, but that isn't always used in social situations.  If someone KNOWS you prefer being called Ms. Mary Smith, then fine.  Most people will just follow traditional etiquette when making up guest lists.
You wouldn't address Her Royal Highness, the Duchess of Cambridge as Kate Wndsor, would you?  That is her NAME, but it would be improper to use it.