Pregnant Bridesmaids!

lisavalo

Help! My maid of honour and one of my bridesmaids have just fell pregnant, and are both due 1-2 weeks before our wedding day. I don't know what to do. They could be late, have complications (and our venue is out of town in the middle of nowhere), might need to be with their babies constantly, not fit into dresses, etc! There is so much about this that we just can't plan for, and I don't know what to do. Any advice?

ChemFanatic25

Hmmm, I would calm down first off. They're pregnant, no need to lose it, pregnancy happens all the time (at least the rise in population can attest to that.)

Now, once you have calmed down, don't worry about it but also DO NOT ask them to step down. That is a friendship ending move. When it comes time for the wedding they can inform you whether or not they can handle being in the wedding. If they say they can, awesome! If they say they cannot, no big deal.

Also, some ladies have asked how to make a pregnant friend feel comfortable who still wants to stand up with the bride. The ladies on the knot have recommended setting up a chair at the front with the other bridesmaids, OR you could set up a chair at the end of the aisle where she can sit.

For dresses, have them choose a dress closer to the date. Maybe instead of having the same dress for all bridesmaids, give everyone a swatch and fabric and it will make it easier for your MOH and BM to choose a dress that is more accommodating. 

They both have huge life events happening at the same time as you. Celebrate and be happy for them and I'm sure they will be happy for your huge life event.

Congratulations to your friends and good luck on the wedding planning.

Knottie56374471

Just be happy for them and roll with it.

Your wedding will go on, even if they can't be there.

mikenberger

Are you having the baby? Chill out. You don't have to plan for anything (unless they advise you otherwise.). They do. 

You can be helpful by:

Calming down.

Giving them the ability to choose a dress that they will be comfortable in no matter what size.

Being understanding to this huge life change they're going to undergo.

Calming down.

If they need to talk, listen. They're still your friends.

I am intrigued though how one is "fell" into pregnancy. Like down the stairs? Fell on a bed? That could certainly do it.

ETA: "Might need to be with their babies constantly" is totally off putting. They're not your slaves. You don't need or should require all of their attention on your wedding day. 

ChemFanatic25

lisavalo said:

Help! My maid of honour and one of my bridesmaids have just fell pregnant, and are both due 1-2 weeks before our wedding day. I don't know what to do. They could be late, have complications (and our venue is out of town in the middle of nowhere), might need to be with their babies constantly, not fit into dresses, etc! There is so much about this that we just can't plan for, and I don't know what to do. Any advice?

JIC

LondonLisa

What do you have to plan for? If they can make it, great! If not- oh well, be a supporting and understanding friend.

Just be flexible as whether or not they can attend will be very last minute. If they can attend, make sure they have a place to sit during the ceremony and their dresses can be altered to support a maternity style (maybe have them in empire waist dresses).

Maybe they don't want to walk down the aisle but rather start sitting at the front. Maybe have another BM with an iPad at the front so they can watch over Skype/ facetime from their beds. 

This is so easily managed. You do realise this is GOOD news! How exciting that you all have fun things to plan and be excited for.

@mikenberger - "fell pregnant" is how we would say it in Britain. Maybe OP is British. 

mikenberger

LondonLisa said:

What do you have to plan for? If they can make it, great! If not- oh well, be a supporting and understanding friend.

Just be flexible as whether or not they can attend will be very last minute. If they can attend, make sure they have a place to sit during the ceremony and their dresses can be altered to support a maternity style (maybe have them in empire waist dresses).

Maybe they don't want to walk down the aisle but rather start sitting at the front. Maybe have another BM with an iPad at the front so they can watch over Skype/ facetime from their beds. 

This is so easily managed. You do realise this is GOOD news! How exciting that you all have fun things to plan and be excited for.

@mikenberger - "fell pregnant" is how we would say it in Britain. Maybe OP is British. 

Thanks for the clarification I've heard of falling ill, but never pregnant.

KatWAG

lisavalo said:

Help! My maid of honour and one of my bridesmaids have just fell pregnant, and are both due 1-2 weeks before our wedding day. I don't know what to do. They could be late, have complications (and our venue is out of town in the middle of nowhere), might need to be with their babies constantly, not fit into dresses, etc! There is so much about this that we just can't plan for, and I don't know what to do. Any advice?

Did they fall on a penis?

Chill out. If something comes up and they cant make it, you can still get married! Just work around it. Let them pick their own dresses and wear flats. Have chairs for them. And mentally prepare yourself that they might not be able to come at all.

ETA: And yes, if they do have their babies before your wedding, they will need to be with their babies constantly. Even if they arent breastfeeding, babies always need something when they are tiny.

hellopig

I don't understand what you think you need to do. Other than congratulate them and feel all warm and fuzzy because yayyyyy babies?

levioosa

You should support them and be excited because it is a life changing event. 

They are not required to do anything other than show up on time and in good sober spirits in their dresses anyways.  Planning your wedding is only up to you and your FI.  Your girls are not required to throw you any pre-wedding related parties either.

As for the dresses, it would be easiest to give them a color and let them pick their own dress in that color closer to the wedding.

Do not kick them out or ask them to "step down" because it is a friendship ending move.  If they have the babies before the wedding then yes, it is very likely they will need to bring the babies with them.  Not a big deal.  Infants sleep most of the time anyways and it won't really affect your wedding in any way. 

southernbelle0915

OH NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They fell pregnant? Will they survive? What a terrible thing, this pregnancy epidemic. It's ruining weddings and lives. DOWN WITH PREGNANCY!

flantastic

The one thing that no one's touched on - if they end up not being able to make it, you don't replace them. There is no need for "standby" bridesmaids or any such nonsense. You just have fewer people standing on your side, and the joy of two new babies!

I had a BM with a 3 month old - she absented herself from much of the day to nurse, etc. I missed her, because she's awesome, but a mom's gotta do what a mom's gotta do. We had the ceremony at a different location than the reception, but if your venue(s) have a bridal prep room, consider offering it to them as an option for nursing - we just kept the key at the bar. My two BMs with kids had wanted to do hair and makeup with us, so I made sure the space was big enough for their littlest kids to have a play corner and let them know that was an option in case it would be helpful.

short+sassy

LondonLisa said:

What do you have to plan for? If they can make it, great! If not- oh well, be a supporting and understanding friend.

Just be flexible as whether or not they can attend will be very last minute. If they can attend, make sure they have a place to sit during the ceremony and their dresses can be altered to support a maternity style (maybe have them in empire waist dresses).

Maybe they don't want to walk down the aisle but rather start sitting at the front. Maybe have another BM with an iPad at the front so they can watch over Skype/ facetime from their beds. 

This is so easily managed. You do realise this is GOOD news! How exciting that you all have fun things to plan and be excited for.

@mikenberger - "fell pregnant" is how we would say it in Britain. Maybe OP is British. 

Thanks for the clarification.  "Fell pregnant" was a really odd sounding phrase to me also.  It's always fun to hear different slang and phrases from other countries.

And I did notice the OP used the British version spelling of the word "honour" as opposed to the USA version "honor".  Though I think the US is the only country that spells it without the "u".

climbingsingle

Chill out. I don't really understand what you need help with. They're pregnant. You'll figure it out. Let them lead with how they want to do things. And be flexible. 

NowIamMrsKlein

Awesome! There are going to be two adorable babies in your near future! That's exciting! 

You asked these ladies to stand up with you at your wedding because they meant so much to you and you wished to have the honour of them standing with you at your wedding. The fact that they are pregnant should not change how you feel about them at all. So no 'asking to step down'

Talk to the ladies closer to the date, ask what you can do for them to make them more comfortable on your day. There's a good chance that they will both have had the babies and therefore nothing changes.

If they are overdue there are some things that you can easily do to make them more comfortable. Having a chair close by so they can sit if need be, not getting hissy if they want to wear flats or even flip flops. And being completely ok with the fact that come day of, they just might not be able to be there. 

As for dresses I would let the ladies pick out their own dresses, closer to day of. That way they can find something they are comfortable with. If you go with a simple black dress, then there is a chance that they might have something already in their closet, so if they buy a dress to accomodate a large belly and end up having the baby, they can simply wear something they already have.

My sister in law was 6 months pregnant at my sisters wedding. She simply had her dress taken out and wore comfy shoes. We made sure there was plenty of water available for her as the day was hot and made sure there was shade for her to sit in. But this would have happened even if she wasnt pregnant because shade, comfy shoes and water are enjoyed by all!

Just be happy for your ladies! Your day will not be ruined by them being pregnant, it may not be exactly as you had pictured, but you still get to marry your best friend and thats what the wedding is all about right?