Don't like Engagement Photos...am I being too critical? PICS

CallaLily25

We recently got our engagement photos back. There were TONS and we received all of the raw photos. If we want them photoshopped, he will do that too, but he wanted us to see all of them as is. I thoroughly researched my photographer, and I think his work is great, but I really, really dislike how I look in all of the photos. I feel like there were many shots that he could've told me to position my head a little different or could've taken from a better angle so I didn't appear to have a "double chin." 

I don't know if I'm being too critical or if I should seriously consider going with another photographer who might focus more on the angles on my face. I feel like the focus was getting natural, candid shots, but this resulted in a lot of awkward faces in my opinion. 

Of course my friends and family say they look beautiful, but I would love honest, unbiased opinions. I don't want to make a rash decision about my photographer when it's just my own personal insecurities, but if it is his work, then I want to change before the wedding.

Thanks ladies!

mikenberger

I think they look great. I can understand where you're coming from in one photo: you're facing each other in your coats; I can kind of see where a double chin may reside because of your head positioning, but honestly, they're really good photos. I would keep your photographer and watch "America's Next Top Model" on marathon and learn Tyra's tricks, if you feel like you want a little help (kidding aside, you're a lovely couple and your photos are great.)

themuffinman16

Yes... you are being entirely too critical. You are gorgeous!  I love the pic of you two in your jackets, standing up, and hugging each other, facing the camera. You look so cuddly!

larrygaga

I don't think it's the photographers fault you don't like your face.

pinkcow13

Honestly, we are our own worst critics. I hated my engagement pictures too. I was already self conscious because I was packing on extra pounds at the time, and I got my period the day after. When I saw the pics I seriously wanted to cry. I posted them here though, and showed them to FI after. After a few days, I realized that they were not as terrible as I initially thought, and I actually started loving a few.

I think your pics are fabulous. You both look awesome, and I think the photographer is really talented.You definitely do not need to go for another photographer. Since this is somewhat of a "test" for the big day, you can try and practice different poses or angles if there are any that you really did not like in particular.

morphemes

I think your pictures are gorgeous! You are so pretty and you and your FI look really happy together! Give it a day or two and then look at them again and see how you feel. I really love the one where you two are hugging, and I also really love the one with you leaning your head on his shoulder and smiling. They look great!

climbingsingle

I really think they look great. 

theycallmelinz

Same as PPs. I think they look great and you guys are a beautiful couple. I hated my pics at first too, then the more I looked at them they grew on me and now I love most of them.

hellosweetie1015

I honestly think they look beautiful. The only one I don't like is the one on the bridge, because you kind of look a little like cousin Itt (your head is turned so almost everything we see is hair). Otherwise, I think they - and you - look beautiful.

We are all our own worst critics. When I first saw the whole batch of photos, I found one (just one, out of an 8 hour day) that I loved. It was this one:

because I was mostly behind the box, and my arm is for some reason deceptively thin-looking.

But once I got over the "oh my god I look so so fat ugh I'm ugly ugh why did I agree to these ugh I should have lost 80 pounds before we did these ugh ugh ugh" of it all, I found quite a few that I adored. I have three on my desk, a bunch waiting for frames at home, and I want to get more printed, because in most of them we just look happy. And that's what I love about them - we don't have a bunch of pictures of us, and so having a lot where we just look happy to be with each other is something I'm thankful to have.

theartistformerlyknownas

You guys are gorgeous! I can see what you're talking about though, and think it may be a combination of the way he shoots and the way you're posed, but nothing that can't be fixed!

My thoughts: the way you're smiling looks like you were holding that pose waiting for him to snap the picture. But you can fix this - you know how when you see models on TV they're constantly moving ever so slightly and reposing? If he's snapping away, do the same kind of little adjustments rather than holding still like he's painting you. Tip the angle of your head a teeny little bit, then shift your glance from toward the camera to toward your FI (H by the time you take more pics!), give a little giggle instead of a smile. The most natural smiles, IMO, really come from laughs. And you'll have more variations of the same pose to choose from, and not have to think "oh shoot if I'd moved an inch, I wouldn't have a double chin."

So I would just give him some feedback like "for our wedding pictures, I'd really like to make sure my face is at a flattering angle/we look more relaxed; can you make sure to let me know if I need to adjust anything as we go?" But then also keep in mind that if your pics are post-ceremony, you WILL be more relaxed and over the moon happy because you're MARRIED to that adorable guy and you couldn't wipe that smile off your face if you tried.

Also remember - in the grand scheme of things, your engagement pics aren't the end of the world. They're more like a practice run at posing for the camera, so now you've learned what to do and not to do for your wedding pics. You'll really only use a few of them, whereas your wedding pics will be hung up all over your house.

Sorry for the novel!

CallaLily25

Thank you so much! It really helps to know that I'm not the only one who has hated them at first and then grew to love them. I hope that happens with me! I think everyone makes great points...it's not my photographer's fault how I feel about myself/my face. I've been staring at them and scrutinizing them since we got them back on Tuesday, and I think it would be useful to step back and take a little break. Then, maybe when I look at them with fresh eyes, I'll feel differently.

jenna8984

I have definitely seen way worse, these are not bad at all! I actively looked for a double chin in each one and only saw a trace of it in one picture so it's really not as bad as you think!

It's so funny that @mikenberger mentioned America's Next Top Model because I was going to say the same thing. I watched an episode years and years ago where Tyra said "stick your neck out like a swan- it feels stupid, but it looks beautiful". And I've always remembered that! So I had a friend do my photographs (professional) and I told her straight up on the wedding morning- this is my good side, get me from this side, and it's your responsibility as a friend to tell me when to stick my neck out and when to suck my stomach in.

She did that and I was ever so thankful!!! It actually hurt after an hour of pictures but it was worth it to me because my pics look great. She also had tips for me about holding the bouquet as low as I could by my hip (instead of with bent elbows) because it cuts you in half and instead you want to elongate the mid-section. I look back at friend's photos who are holding their bouquets up under their boobs and she was totally right- it cuts them in half and doesn't look flattering.

So just practice a little on your own with posing and these tips and keep them in mind on your wedding day and I think you'll be golden! Obviously you won't be sticking your neck out all night in the candids but for the portrait ones.

sophhabobopha

I think they look really nice!

theartistformerlyknownas

jenna8984 said:

I have definitely seen way worse, these are not bad at all! I actively looked for a double chin in each one and only saw a trace of it in one picture so it's really not as bad as you think!

It's so funny that @mikenberger mentioned America's Next Top Model because I was going to say the same thing. I watched an episode years and years ago where Tyra said "stick your neck out like a swan- it feels stupid, but it looks beautiful". And I've always remembered that! So I had a friend do my photographs (professional) and I told her straight up on the wedding morning- this is my good side, get me from this side, and it's your responsibility as a friend to tell me when to stick my neck out and when to suck my stomach in.

She did that and I was ever so thankful!!! It actually hurt after an hour of pictures but it was worth it to me because my pics look great. She also had tips for me about holding the bouquet as low as I could by my hip (instead of with bent elbows) because it cuts you in half and instead you want to elongate the mid-section. I look back at friend's photos who are holding their bouquets up under their boobs and she was totally right- it cuts them in half and doesn't look flattering.

So just practice a little on your own with posing and these tips and keep them in mind on your wedding day and I think you'll be golden! Obviously you won't be sticking your neck out all night in the candids but for the portrait ones.

This, TOTALLY. It just looks awkward holding your bouquet up that high. The stems should be right about at crotch-level, and hold your elbows out slightly from your sides so you don't squish them into arm fat that really isn't there. Helps SO much.

mikenberger

Smile with your eyes!

ashley8918

I agree with PPs that the pictures look nice. I can see one or two where you could have been posed better, but they definitely don't look "bad". And I think that the actual picture quality is great, so i'd hang on to this photog.

hellosweetie1015

CallaLily25 said:

Thank you so much! It really helps to know that I'm not the only one who has hated them at first and then grew to love them. I hope that happens with me! I think everyone makes great points...it's not my photographer's fault how I feel about myself/my face. I've been staring at them and scrutinizing them since we got them back on Tuesday, and I think it would be useful to step back and take a little break. Then, maybe when I look at them with fresh eyes, I'll feel differently.

DO THAT. I got mine back the night before we went to Savannah for the 4th of July, and obsessed over them the whole entire next day, and spent most of the drive there looking at them and picking at them and it was depressing, so I decided I'd ignore them until we got back. We stayed in a cabin out in a state park, where there was no such thing as 3G or WiFi, and I sure as hell wasn't interested in looking at them while we explored because SAVANNAH, so I managed not to see them for three or four days, and I was able to look at them better when I got back.

novella1186

A really important tip I learned when I used to model: cheat where your gaze goes. Like the photo of you guys on the bridge where your head is turned really far? If the photog said to look at your FI, don't actually look at him. If you're standing at 12 O'clock and he's standing at 6 O'clock, LOOK at 3 O'clock. Ya know what I mean? That way in the photo it will still seem as if you're looking at him but your head/eyes will be at a more flattering angle and you won't be turned so severely. Same with moving just your eyes. It's not flattering to look way way way over to the side, because then in the photo pretty much just the whites of your eyes will be showing and that's weird. Look slightly off to the side and it will get the same effect but prettier. 

And I 100% agree with lolo; that's another important thing about not looking stiff or getting good angles in photos; keep moving, but just slightly, and try to laugh! 

Anyway, I think your photos are great, and you are gorgeous! 

HeatherKat

I don't remember if I actually told you this in our FB group or if I just thought it and never actually posted it, but STFU.

You're gorgeous. Like, super gorgeous! And the photos look GREAT, especially when you consider they haven't been retouched yet (not that they need it, because again, gorgeous!)

The way I read the OP is that he gave you *all* the raw images. Of course there will be some bad shots in there! Some of the posing is a little awkward, but that'll happen. Now you know what poses work for you. Overall, I think they turned out amazing, and I'd 100% keep this photographer.

anjemon

lolo883 said:

jenna8984 said:

I have definitely seen way worse, these are not bad at all! I actively looked for a double chin in each one and only saw a trace of it in one picture so it's really not as bad as you think!

It's so funny that @mikenberger mentioned America's Next Top Model because I was going to say the same thing. I watched an episode years and years ago where Tyra said "stick your neck out like a swan- it feels stupid, but it looks beautiful". And I've always remembered that! So I had a friend do my photographs (professional) and I told her straight up on the wedding morning- this is my good side, get me from this side, and it's your responsibility as a friend to tell me when to stick my neck out and when to suck my stomach in.

She did that and I was ever so thankful!!! It actually hurt after an hour of pictures but it was worth it to me because my pics look great. She also had tips for me about holding the bouquet as low as I could by my hip (instead of with bent elbows) because it cuts you in half and instead you want to elongate the mid-section. I look back at friend's photos who are holding their bouquets up under their boobs and she was totally right- it cuts them in half and doesn't look flattering.

So just practice a little on your own with posing and these tips and keep them in mind on your wedding day and I think you'll be golden! Obviously you won't be sticking your neck out all night in the candids but for the portrait ones.

This, TOTALLY. It just looks awkward holding your bouquet up that high. The stems should be right about at crotch-level, and hold your elbows out slightly from your sides so you don't squish them into arm fat that really isn't there. Helps SO much.

I WISH someone would have told me that before I was a BM for my sister's wedding. It looks seriously awkward and a little bit ruins (for me) her gorgeous photos because all I can see is my arms. 

I also wish her photog would have mentioned that I was the only BM holding my bouquet up so high, because it also breaks the symmetry in the pictures. I'm in the middle of the row of girls and the only one not holding it down at their hips. Awkward.

jenna8984

@lolo883 I actually didn't take a single picture holding my bouquet with both hands (like your siggy pic). Every one, I was holding it with one hand down at my hip and my other arm either behind my back, around DH, or leaning on something like the side of the covered bridge.

theartistformerlyknownas

jenna8984 said:

@lolo883 I actually didn't take a single picture holding my bouquet with both hands (like your siggy pic). Every one, I was holding it with one hand down at my hip and my other arm either behind my back, around DH, or leaning on something like the side of the covered bridge.

I have some like that... but damn that thing was heavier than it looked!

peachy13

OP I think your pics are great! I wasn't a huge fan of mine after I saw the results -- I really am not photogenic. In all honesty, engagement photos can be awkward because it's forced posing that you're probably not used to. Like lolo said, use it as kind of a test run for your wedding day.

And you don't really need to use your engagement photos for anything if you don't want... you're not required to frame them around your house or use them for save the dates... just hang on to the ones you like and keep them for you and your FI to look back on some day.

CallaLily25

All of your responses have made me feel SO much better! Thank you! I'm loving all the tips, and I think I'm going to definitely take a step back and look at them with fresh eyes.

This has helped bring me back to reality a bit and stop obsessing, lol. They are just photos after all!

[Deleted User]

I know how you feel. I had about 150 photos. I LOVE one and that's it. Thereally are 2 handfuls of photos I like and that's it. I feel like my photographer does great work but a lot of our shots were awkward and she didn't have me move my hair so a lot of profile shots you just see my forehead, nose, and chin.

The one photo I love is where my fiance reached out to push my hair off my face and it made me feel sexy- best most natural one.

I felt like the photos had a great eye for backgrounds and such but wasn't looking at US sometimes. I will probably have to keep that in mindifferent for the wedding and pay more attention.

ETA: the photo I love is my profile pic. Also, I hated almost all of mine on first look, but I'd bet that some will start to grow on you. FWIW, I think you both look great!