His family wasn't captured in pictures as much as the brides. Mother of Groom IRRRRRAAAAATTTTE
I married the love of my life 12/13/14. Wedding went perfect and I mean PERFECT!!!! Problem was afterwards- the photographer sent a link to around 150 pictures; which every single picture was awesome! I forwarded the link to my mother in law and she mentioned there weren't many still shots of the grooms family. I agreed, but while we were doing the traditional shots following the ceremony the photographer said "we're one family now" so I just assumed that everyone was ok with talking group family photos verses separate family photos. I'd already taken ones with my immediate family only. So I do believe because I'd already done mine we should have done his family photos. But while in the moment of everything I didn't think about his family photos. Also the photographer once finished with the still shots mentioned there will be many opportunities to take photos with family during the reception. This morning I received a call from the mother of the groom- and she is irate about there not being any photos of their family. Back tracking- my husband and I paid for the entire wedding, but the cake that the grooms parents paid for. Mother of groom has contacted the photographer herself and expressed her anger ( of course in a nice way). However I don't know that she should be as upset and I'm wondering is it traditional for the photographer to take individual family photos- or am I in the wrong? Also he is a more of a movement photographer verses a still shooter. So there are incredible pictures of the reception on the dance floor and during the ceremony. The photographer mentioned he gravitates towards the bride and groom and apologized if he felt he didn't capture the pictures she wanted. But didn't want to leave us the bride and groom to capture those sitting down?
Help is this something anyone has experienced.
Re: His family wasn't captured in pictures as much as the brides. Mother of Groom IRRRRRAAAAATTTTE
Just let her be irate. Do not engage in this topic with her. She should never have called your vendor. She'll calm down eventually.
I'd be kind of bummed if my son got married and there weren't many pictures of my family on my son's big day. I guess you're one big family...but your family and his family? I absolutely think photos should have been done with you two and his family. We had photos with each set of parents and each set of grandparents (we're both only children so family is TINY).
Most photographers ask for a list in advance of the "must have" pictures. Did he not ask for this? This would have prevented this from happening... Unfortunately, it is what it is and I don't think anything else can be done other than let your new MIL blow off steam. That being said, should your husband step in and so you're not the one fielding her irate calls?
I'd have your husband make clear to her that the subject is closed. If she wanted individual shots of her family members, it was up to her to say so and offer to pay for them ahead of the wedding, not to expect you or the photographer to read her mind and then complain when the ship has sailed.
Let this be a lesson though. If you stood up and did posed shots with your parents, your husband deserved the same. And no MIL likes to feel like she wasn't as important so I would apologize on your photographer's behalf.
But MIL is acting like a child. Have your husband tell her that the matter is closed if she continues.
I do think she was in the wrong to directly contact the vendor. However, I do understand where she's coming from.
I guess "tradition" depends on your locale and family, but I will say that family-type portraits at weddings are traditional in my circle. Our line of thinking on it is that it's so rare that we get to have that many members of the family together in one place, let alone dressed up, that we want to take advantage of the situation and get more formal photos together. And if you only did it for one side of the family, I can see why she feels slighted. However, this is all stuff that should have been hashed out before hand, with a list of required photos, and she could have communicated before the wedding that she would have liked to do that (of course, maybe she didn't realize before the wedding that it was an option until she saw the photos of your family and realized you didn't extend the courtesy to your husband's family).
Apologize sincerely. That's really all you can do. If you really wanted to smooth things over, you could also arrange to do family portraits at a studio as a Christmas/anniversary/birthday gift next year (not like a do-over recreating the wedding - just nice family portraits at a studio).
The MIL, on the other hand, owes the OP and the photographer apologies for calling him and throwing fits after the fact.
Other than that, I agree that the OP and her husband could arrange family photographic sessions at a portrait studio-for both sides of their family.
I don't agree. The couple can't read everyone's minds, and bitching to them after the fact is not helpful. To that extent the MIL does need to act like a big girl and be proactive. She should have indicated beforehand that she wanted family photos of her family and offered to help pay for it. Since the wedding was not a family reunion for either side, if she wanted to do something just for her family, it was up to her to arrange it together with her son rather than bitching and blaming the OP.
I don't think the MIL is expecting minds to be read...but I think it's common sense that the groom's family should have the same photos that the brides family did and it's certainly not the MIL's place to make that happen. Yes, the MIL handled it inappropriately by contacting the photographer but the couple needs to accept some responsibility as they're the one directing the photographer as to the must-have photographs.
Ok, I don't know much about this kind of thing. But the OP said the MIL was mad because there were "not as many" photos of her side, she didn't say "none".
Also, there isn't much use in complaining, when the day is over, and it can't be rectified.
And most of all, this is their wedding! The most important people are the couple, the WP, the immediate family. Pictures of a wedding, not shots of some relatives on the grooms side, that can be taken any time. The wedding pictures, can only be taken that day.
Pictures of the extended family can be had at a family reunion.
And what if all these people didn't want to pose for "must-have" photos no matter how hard they were cajoled? I've read about extended family members who just plain didn't want to be photographed even if they were on some "must-have" list. How the fuck is that the couple's "fault" ?
So trying to assign collective responsibility for one side not getting family photos taken doesn't work because it's expecting people to read minds. Not only that, either or both of the couple may have other priorities than "must-have" photos if photos of family members just aren't important to them. Trying to say "it's the couple's fault" doesn't work when it may be one person's fault or no one's fault.
That's why a lot of people say it's the couple's responsibility to know what's going on with the photographer. It's like any other vendor you pay for. H also knew what we were eating, what the chapel looked like, what the invitations looked like, who was coming to the wedding, and the timeline.