Pros/Cons of having our ceremony and reception on different days?

Andrea7035

Hi there! This post is to see if anyone has had or been to a wedding where the ceremony and reception were separated on different days. I've seen a few posts on here related to this topic, with the reasoning being finances or logistics (e.g., one of the families lives elsewhere so the bride and groom have two celebrations to include everyone). I'm still open to a traditional wedding day with the ceremony and reception back-to-back, but I'm wondering if it may be more enjoyable to separate them so we can truly take in each event and not feel rushed. 

For background: I've been engaged since August 2014 (about four months now) and the wedding planning is slow moving. We've literally been all over the map with ideas on the format of our wedding. We love to the outdoors and traveling, so naturally we originally thought a destination wedding would be fitting with about 50 family and friends. We even went for an entire week to CO to visit a few venues I had lined up, but in experiencing the actual drive, we realized it was going to be difficult for some of those closest to us to get to - the whole point of a destination wedding. That was in October. 

Since then, we've been scouting out places near our hometown of Austin, Texas. We've been focusing on an outdoor-indoor option in the Texas Hill Country with a similar feel as those in Colorado (with the exception of mountains and free-roaming elk, of course). We found a beautiful old historic home that fits the bill and I was ready to put the deposit down a few days ago, only the in-house coordinator isn't the most responsive and over the last few days my fickle mind is making me thing twice. 

I keep hearing from married friends and family "how fast the day goes by" and "how I didn't even get to see/talk/spend time with everyone, but saw they came in pictures and it looked like they had a good time" and "We were so excited with adrenaline pumping that we were moving so quickly through all the events of the day and hardly remember any of it!" These were all from friends/family who had 75-125 guests so not too too big of a wedding. Of course, they all provide their two cents on how to overcome some of those regrets (e.g., take a moment the two of you to look around and soak it in; have a private dinner with just you and your husband pre-reception to avoid forgetting to eat/remember the food you spend so much $$ on," etc.) 

BUT, is there an alternative? We brides on average spend a full year, coupled with all the energy and money, planning our weddings that it's a little daunting knowing that all that effort goes into one day that I too will likely think it goes by too quickly. We're not the flashy types and I hope this post doesn't come off as me wanting to have more attention by prolonging our wedding, but: 
- Is there simply too much packed into a traditional wedding day? 

- Has anyone had their (or been experienced as a guest) wedding ceremony and reception on different days? 

- For those who haven't, what are your thoughts and any suggestions on the format, who to invite to each, etc? 

Thanks in advance and looking forward to insight, advice, comments. 

Jen4948

Since a reception is a thank-you to your guests for attending the ceremony, it must immediately follow the reception on the same day. Everyone attending the ceremony must be invited to the reception. And "tiered hospitality," or inviting some people to part of the event but not the whole, such as inviting some to a full meal and dancing, but others only for dessert and dancing, is never appropriate.

It is also inappropriate to have a gap of any length between the ceremony and the reception. If you want to take photos immediately after the ceremony, then the reception begins with a "cocktail hour" for the guests immediately after the ceremony while the couple, their families, and the bridal party take photos. Alcohol need not actually be served during the cocktail hour, but refreshments must be made available to the guests. (Note: the cocktail hour should not exceed one hour, and photos should not be taken at other locations than the ceremony and/or reception venues.)

There can be another "celebration" on another day, but it is considered a separate event from the wedding and reception itself. It is not a "wedding reception" and should not be billed as such; nor should there be a reenactment of the ceremony or other "wedding" elements at it such as a bridal gown, spotlight dances, or cake-cutting. The boat for those things will have sailed.

Although etiquette does allow for inviting people to the reception who are not invited to the ceremony, something not looked on favorably is to have a small ceremony deemed "intimate" followed by a larger reception unless the ceremony is for immediate family members and their SOs only. For example, a twenty-person ceremony followed by a fifty-person reception is considered rude. (Exception: Mormon sealing ceremony or something with religious restrictions.)

jacques27

More enjoyable for whom?  You?

Personally, I would be annoyed with it as a guest to have your event take up two of my days and probably choose one over the other.  You're also going to potentially have people who for some reason or another cannot make both days work.  Then you end up with the possibility of people attending the ceremony who were not properly thanked and hosted with a reception...which is rude.

I think it's kind of a selfish thing to do.  It seems like it's rooted in not wanting to be selfish in theory and spend time with people, but you're doing it for you, not for the benefit of your guests.  If I'm a friend and only know 10 people there (or maybe only know the bride or the groom like at my one friends wedding), I don't need MORE time to mingle with people I don't know, let alone on two separate days.

The fact of the matter is, all parties are like this.  All parties where you are either the host or the guest of honor are especially like this.  Would you do this for any other party?  A graduation party?  A birthday party?  An anniversary party?  A holiday?  I cooked dinner for 35 family members for Thanksgiving.  As host, I spent most of the afternoon in the kitchen cooking while some of my family noshed on apps and watched football and other holiday things.  Should I make Thanksgiving last two days so that I feel I get sufficient football watching and food noshing with them to make up for the fact that I'm hosting and responsible for cooking? 

Make minor changes to the day to free up your schedule as much as you can to spend more time people and find ways to make the time you do spend meaningful and heartfelt with the short amount of time you're able to dedicate to each person.  And remember, if these are people you love then spend time with them outside of your wedding doing non-wedding associated activities.  It's not like the wedding is the only opportunity to talk and spend time with them if you're maintaining your relationships outside of your wedding.

AddieCake

I agree. I would not want to have to give up 2 days for you so that you can have a better time. 

climbingsingle

I agree with PPs. And it comes off as a very selfish thing to do. Hosting your guests properly and their comforts should be your first priority.

lovegood90

Agree with everyone else. It's proper etiquette to have a ceremony immediately followed by a reception, with the only gap between being for cocktail hour (and only one hour). Spreading your event over multiple days isn't convenient for anyone.

MobKaz

Andrea7035 said:

Hi there! This post is to see if anyone has had or been to a wedding where the ceremony and reception were separated on different days. I've seen a few posts on here related to this topic, with the reasoning being finances or logistics (e.g., one of the families lives elsewhere so the bride and groom have two celebrations to include everyone). I'm still open to a traditional wedding day with the ceremony and reception back-to-back, but I'm wondering if it may be more enjoyable to separate them so we can truly take in each event and not feel rushed. 

For background: I've been engaged since August 2014 (about four months now) and the wedding planning is slow moving. We've literally been all over the map with ideas on the format of our wedding. We love to the outdoors and traveling, so naturally we originally thought a destination wedding would be fitting with about 50 family and friends. We even went for an entire week to CO to visit a few venues I had lined up, but in experiencing the actual drive, we realized it was going to be difficult for some of those closest to us to get to - the whole point of a destination wedding. That was in October. 

Since then, we've been scouting out places near our hometown of Austin, Texas. We've been focusing on an outdoor-indoor option in the Texas Hill Country with a similar feel as those in Colorado (with the exception of mountains and free-roaming elk, of course). We found a beautiful old historic home that fits the bill and I was ready to put the deposit down a few days ago, only the in-house coordinator isn't the most responsive and over the last few days my fickle mind is making me thing twice. 

I keep hearing from married friends and family "how fast the day goes by" and "how I didn't even get to see/talk/spend time with everyone, but saw they came in pictures and it looked like they had a good time" and "We were so excited with adrenaline pumping that we were moving so quickly through all the events of the day and hardly remember any of it!" These were all from friends/family who had 75-125 guests so not too too big of a wedding. Of course, they all provide their two cents on how to overcome some of those regrets (e.g., take a moment the two of you to look around and soak it in; have a private dinner with just you and your husband pre-reception to avoid forgetting to eat/remember the food you spend so much $$ on," etc.) 

BUT, is there an alternative? We brides on average spend a full year, coupled with all the energy and money, planning our weddings that it's a little daunting knowing that all that effort goes into one day that I too will likely think it goes by too quickly. We're not the flashy types and I hope this post doesn't come off as me wanting to have more attention by prolonging our wedding, but: 
- Is there simply too much packed into a traditional wedding day? 

- Has anyone had their (or been experienced as a guest) wedding ceremony and reception on different days? 

- For those who haven't, what are your thoughts and any suggestions on the format, who to invite to each, etc? 

Thanks in advance and looking forward to insight, advice, comments. 

CMGragain

You get one day, not two.
Your wedding reception is not for YOU.  It is for your ceremony guests.
Asking your guests to give up two days for your wedding is asking too much.

You can have as many parties as you wish after you are married, but they will not be a part of your wedding.

MNVegas

I would not be very happy to give up two days for YOUR wedding. Not sure why you would think this would be convenient for your guests because it would not be. Sorry but it is a bad plan for sure.

allispain

I've been invited to something along the lines of what you are describing in a couple of weeks. My friend and her FI are getting married in her home state with only their immediate families (which are both very large, so there will still be roughly 40 people there when you include siblings, nieces and nephews, etc.). They are then hosting a reception on the other side of the country at a ski resort for all their friends, extended families, etc. This second location is closer to where they currently live.

I appreciate that they are being up front about the fact that the second event will not be their actual wedding ceremony - that being said, there is no way I'll be spending close to a grand on the plane ticket to attend their reception-only event (not to mention a shuttle to the resort, room for 2 nights, etc.). Had it been to actually witness them get married and then celebrate with them at their reception immediately afterwards, I may have tried to make it work into my work schedule and budget. But just for a reception? Thanks, but no thanks.

OP, the whole point of a wedding is to get married. You want a small, intimate wedding? Great! You want to invite everyone you know? Great! But you don't get to do both. So sit down with your FI and talk about what exactly you both envision for your wedding, and go from there. But you only get one day - not two.

slothiegal

You get ONE day.

JellyBean52513

OP, if you are concerned about the day flying by you to the point that you want to spread it out across two days, why don't you plan it in a way that won't be stressful? You don't need to coordinate a bunch of elaborate photoshoots that can be exhausting and take up a lot of time, since photos mostly sit in your photo album and get looked at maybe a few times a year after the fact. Also, I presume by the way you talked about the venue you liked, you have a very specific idea in mind as to what your venue should be. While I absolutely understand having a vision, keep in mind that your ultimate wedding vision is to enjoy the day. See if the venue you already like can arrange for everything to do be done right there (food, beverage, linens, etc.) If not, maybe you should consider a venue that is "all-inclusive," as in you pay the cost and they take care of everything. That way you don't get too wrapped up in planning so much that you feel any type of remorse or regret for not spending the day in a way sufficient enough to justify all the planning you've done for it. 

Also, to answer your original question, I would most likely not take that much time off for someone's wedding unless it was an extremely close friend. If anything, I would probably choose to attend the ceremony itself, as that is the most important part.

lc07

agree with PPs. Ideas for making the most of your time that are still within etiquette:

-Do a first look and do all of your photos in advance. Attend cocktail hour and use that time to greet your guests so you don't feel rushed through dinner.

-Some couples even get ready together if you're looking for more time with your FI. You don't have to get ready separately.

-Plan ample time for hair and makeup so you don't feel rushed. Have them come to the hotel.

-If you aren't having a religious ceremony, consider having everything at one location - the hotel. This will cut down on travel time between getting ready venue, ceremony venue, and reception venue. More time for the things that matter!

-Here's an etiquette approved way to try to get more time with all of your guests: Invite all of your guests to the rehearsal dinner. More time to spend with them. The rehearsal dinner doesn't have to be fancy. It just has to be enough food for the time of day. Pizza or trays of pasta are totally fine. You can also do a morning rehearsal and brunch or luncheon with sandwich trays.

artbyallie

A wedding is one event. Ergo, it cannot be split into two days.

MGP

lc07 said:

agree with PPs. Ideas for making the most of your time that are still within etiquette:

-Do a first look and do all of your photos in advance. Attend cocktail hour and use that time to greet your guests so you don't feel rushed through dinner.

-Some couples even get ready together if you're looking for more time with your FI. You don't have to get ready separately.

-Plan ample time for hair and makeup so you don't feel rushed. Have them come to the hotel.

-If you aren't having a religious ceremony, consider having everything at one location - the hotel. This will cut down on travel time between getting ready venue, ceremony venue, and reception venue. More time for the things that matter!

-Here's an etiquette approved way to try to get more time with all of your guests: Invite all of your guests to the rehearsal dinner. More time to spend with them. The rehearsal dinner doesn't have to be fancy. It just has to be enough food for the time of day. Pizza or trays of pasta are totally fine. You can also do a morning rehearsal and brunch or luncheon with sandwich trays.

These are all great. A few more to build upon it: 

Cut your guest list (but obviously do not split up couples). Less guests = more time with each guest. 

Receiving line or table visits. Personally I think table visits are better because they seem more social and personal, and not pushed along as receiving lines can be. 

 Host (as in pay for everything) a welcome reception, wedding after party, or post wedding brunch. Just don't expect everyone to attend everything. 

Graciously accept any offers for pre wedding events such as engagement parties, showers, or bachelorette parties. Just remember any guests must also be invited to the wedding, do NOT host anything yourself, and again don't expect everyone to attend everything. 

** best option ** Spend time with your guests in the months before and/or after the wedding with NO mention of the wedding itself. Because if you truly want the quality time with these people you should be fine with the attention not centered on you or your wedding. 

 Your intentions of wanting to spend time with your guests seems sincere, but when it shifts to you considering spreading the event across multiple days/weekends to "soak it all in" really puts it it into attention whore level. Please for the love of all things holy keep it at one day. Sorry to break it to you but no one will be as excited as you are for your wedding. No one deserves multiple ceremonies, receptions, trips, and entourages, and "wedding tours". 

Those of us who have got married our wedding days were all exactly the same - 24 hours. Yours will be as well. It is just a matter of how you utilize it. Good luck!

JCbride2015

Yeah I agree with PPs-- this does not sound fun or convenient for guests.  This means they have to get dressed up twice, travel twice, take time out of two days, and potentially get a night at a hotel in between the two events.  And it seems odd to have a ceremony with just nothing afterwards-- the whole point of the reception is to (immediately) thank your guests for attending.

But like others have pointed out, you could choose to host a big rehearsal dinner or morning-after brunch and invite everyone.  That's a nice option for people who want to extend the party, but doesn't put too much pressure on those who would rather not make it a full weekend affair.

adettma32

I understand where you are coming from, being worried about not getting enough time with your loved ones on this special day. However, such is life, and other poster's gave great ideas on how to manage your time and soak up the most you can from your wedding day. 

I'd echo the idea of making the rehearsal dinner open to all guests. For our wedding, most of our guests are OOT (us included). We decided not to have a rehearsal + rehearsal dinner as I don't want our VIP's to feel pressure to come in the day before if they cannot/choose not to. I also didn't want to only host our VIP's this night. Instead, we'll be hosting a low key "welcome party" at a local pub. If people are choosing to come in the Friday evening for our Saturday wedding, I want to spend as much time with them as we can. This will hopefully take a little stress out of trying to spend a ton of time with each and every person the big day. We will still be making rounds during dinner, of course. 

 We are also throwing around the idea of hosting a Sunday brunch or at least letting everyone know where we may be grabbing brunch and that they can attend if they choose. There is no pressure for anyone to attend these extra meet-ups but they are there for those that want to and we would obviously love to get to spend extra time with people.

LadyMillil

I definitely understand wanting to spend more time with your friends and family. DH and I live across the country from our families, and our families are spread out across the province so it is difficult to get together with some members of the family. As a guest I would not like attending a ceremony and reception on 2 different days. As a bride I didn't feel the day was rushed or that I didn't get to spend time with everyone. We didn't have a rehearsal dinner but we told all of the WP and OOT guests that we would be having drinks and apps at the hotel bar at a certain time. They all dropped by at different times to have a drink or say hi. Several guests ended up coming to a movie with us that night. I arranged hair and makeup for the BMs and myself. My mom, MIL and SIL were also invited. We spent most of the morning together and my mom and MIL had secretly planned a brunch for us. I hate when there is a huge gap between the ceremony and reception for pictures so we planned all of our pictures before the ceremony. I scheduled an hour for pictures of just me and DH. That was more time than we needed so we got to spend quite a bit of time together before the ceremony. We did pictures with the WP and our families before the ceremony as well. It was really nice to have that time together. By the time the ceremony started the only guests we hadn't spent any time with were my cousins and friends of DH that didn't come into town until right before the ceremony. We did a receiving line and greeted all guests then. We had some time during the "cocktail hour" while we waited for the venue to change the room from ceremony to dinner set up and had finished pictures so we were able to mingle with our guests. We didn't do table visits during dinner so we got to enjoy our food. My venue served the bride and groom first so that they could quickly eat before doing table visits. My crowd isn't big on dancing, but likes to sit around talking and drinking, so after dinner we were able to speak to all of the guests again. ETA: our hotel had a great brunch deal for wedding guests. We made sure the guests knew about it and when we were planning on being there

lyndausvi

I have no problem if you want to have hosted events in the day(s) leading up to the wedding or the day after the wedding.  But the main event so to speak needs to be on the same day.   

Think of the SuperBowl, sure there are a ton of activities the week of the event, but they do not play the first half on one day and the second half of the game on the next day.  That would be weird.    

Same for a wedding.  Most of us think a 2-3 hour gap is unacceptable, a 24 hour gap is down right rude.

MairePoppy

I agree with PPs. The ceremony and reception can't be separated. You can eliminate some of the reception traditions such as the bouquet and garter toss, have your first dance and cut the cake at the beginning of the reception, combine the Bride/FOB dance with the Groom/MOG dance? If you want more time with your  guests, host a brunch the day after the wedding.

Going be honest, if I was invited to the wedding that you're suggesting, I would only attend one event and  that would probably be the fun part - the reception.

SP29

Agree with all the above. The reception is to thank your guests for coming to your ceremony, so they must be on the same day, without a huge gap.

You may host any other parties you like, wherever you like, but they are not your wedding reception. 

Also, super inconvenient for guests to split the ceremony and reception. I imagine you would have lots of people attend one and not the other, which would defeat your purpose of trying to spend time with everyone. You won't be spending personal time with your guests during the ceremony anyway, so that day would be a moot point (and rude to those guests for not thanking them with a reception).

There are lots of ways to ease your worries- lots of good points already made:

-Hair and make-up early in the day so you have lots of time and no rush

-Keep the guest list small so you can visit guests one on one

-Keep the photos to a minimum or do before your ceremony so you can spend cocktail hour with your guests

-Don't worry about elaborate performances/displays/games/etc at your reception- eat dinner then spend the rest of the night having fun

Knottie12024957

Hello!
I went to a wedding where I was invited to the reception only and it was actually very beautiful. They spent extra money to make sure all the guests were comfortable and I had a really great time! Doesnt matter how many days you take. You can do your wedding however YOU want. I went to one wedding where it was the ceremony earlier in the day, reception later in the evening and then there was a huge breakfast/luncheon the following day! I loved it. It occupies the time for people coming out of town (we were from another country) and I felt welcome and comfortable. 

Cookie Pusher

Knottie12024957 said:

Hello!
I went to a wedding where I was invited to the reception only and it was actually very beautiful. They spent extra money to make sure all the guests were comfortable and I had a really great time! Doesnt matter how many days you take. You can do your wedding however YOU want. I went to one wedding where it was the ceremony earlier in the day, reception later in the evening and then there was a huge breakfast/luncheon the following day! I loved it. It occupies the time for people coming out of town (we were from another country) and I felt welcome and comfortable. 

I can count on one hand the people I'd give up multiple days for a wedding. Just because your wedding is the most important super special thing to you doesn't mean that it is to other people. Way to inconvenience guests who would have to arrange for childcare (or alternate care if they are a caregiver for a sick relative). Or people with limited PTO. Your reception is a thank you to your loved ones for attending your ceremony, and therefor need to happen the same day, one right after the other.

Jen4948

Oops! Early in the morning. I already posted upthread.

VulgarGirl

Oh darlin. I've got shit to do. I do not have time (or the inclination) to give up two days to celebrate the awesomeness that is you and your relationship.

WhatawagSBNy

Andrea7035 said:

Hi there! This post is to see if anyone has had or been to a wedding where the ceremony and reception were separated on different days. I've seen a few posts on here related to this topic, with the reasoning being finances or logistics (e.g., one of the families lives elsewhere so the bride and groom have two celebrations to include everyone). I'm still open to a traditional wedding day with the ceremony and reception back-to-back, but I'm wondering if it may be more enjoyable to separate them so we can truly take in each event and not feel rushed. 

For background: I've been engaged since August 2014 (about four months now) and the wedding planning is slow moving. We've literally been all over the map with ideas on the format of our wedding. We love to the outdoors and traveling, so naturally we originally thought a destination wedding would be fitting with about 50 family and friends. We even went for an entire week to CO to visit a few venues I had lined up, but in experiencing the actual drive, we realized it was going to be difficult for some of those closest to us to get to - the whole point of a destination wedding. That was in October. 

Since then, we've been scouting out places near our hometown of Austin, Texas. We've been focusing on an outdoor-indoor option in the Texas Hill Country with a similar feel as those in Colorado (with the exception of mountains and free-roaming elk, of course). We found a beautiful old historic home that fits the bill and I was ready to put the deposit down a few days ago, only the in-house coordinator isn't the most responsive and over the last few days my fickle mind is making me thing twice. 

I keep hearing from married friends and family "how fast the day by... Cut...>BUT, is there an alternative? We brides on average spend a full year, coupled with all the energy and money, planning our weddings that it's a little daunting knowing that all that effort goes into one day that I too will likely think it goes by too quickly. We're not the flashy types and I hope this post doesn't come off as me wanting to have more attention by prolonging our wedding, but: 
- Is there simply too much packed into a traditional wedding day? 

- Has anyone had their (or been experienced as a guest) wedding ceremony and reception on different days? 

- For those who haven't, what are your thoughts and any suggestions on the format, who to invite to each, etc? 

Thanks in advance and looking forward to insight, advice, comments. 

*************************
It goes by too quickly for the couple. But for guests, even local ones, maybe getting a sitter, dressing up, traveling, attending, traveling home, then on another day doing that over again, that seems an imposition on my time. Instead of sixty dollars for a sitter, it will be over a hundred.

The ceremony may be thirty minutes or an hour, but dressing up and travel may take three if close by. People working weekends may get one day off using vacation days, but two?
Some years we attend no weddings. But some we attend five or more, record was 17. Add on baptisms and graduations and retirement parties and showers an bachelor's parties. People want some of their non-working time to themselves. I hope you see it is not about denying people the wedding they want.
For various reasons some people have had separate ceremony and reception days, and I go to the ceremony,skip the reception.

The only time other than a DW that I have attended both on separate days was twice when families had two children getting married and each wanted their own ceremony, different religions of new spouses.

For an after Sundown Jewish ceremony Saturday night, B 1 and G 1. Sun morning 11am, B 2 and G2 civil ceremony. Sun noon, both couples and their friends, two grooms from one family and the two brides had a joint reception for all three families and many overlapping friends who knew both couples

The second was a Sat Protestant wedding at noon , cross town a Catholic wedding at 1:30, all three families and all friends reception starting 2:30 thru evening.

I could justify the two days or the one with a 1 1/2 hour gap between the first ceremony and reception because two weddings were involved, two religions, and 3 families. But not so one couple could stretch out their fun.

aurianna

Knottie12024957 said:

Hello!
I went to a wedding where I was invited to the reception only and it was actually very beautiful. They spent extra money to make sure all the guests were comfortable and I had a really great time! Doesnt matter how many days you take. You can do your wedding however YOU want. I went to one wedding where it was the ceremony earlier in the day, reception later in the evening and then there was a huge breakfast/luncheon the following day! I loved it. It occupies the time for people coming out of town (we were from another country) and I felt welcome and comfortable. 

Knottie12024957,
The "it's your wedding, do whatever YOU want" mentality generally does not coexist well with proper etiquette (and this is an etiquette board). If you decide to invite guests, you have to host them properly. Committing them to a full weekend so they can both see the wedding AND be thanked for it at the reception, is not hosting them properly. Asking guests to give up more than one day in order to see a wedding and then be properly thanked for it, is expecting too much of other people's time.
Next day breakfasts (like the one you mentioned) or night-before welcoming dinners are different than splitting up the reception and ceremony. They are optional. They can be skipped because they are outside of the wedding ceremony & the thank you reception.

Also, the gap you mentioned between the ceremony and reception was rude of the hosts of the wedding you attended. Gaps tend to cause problems for a lot of guests. They tend to be long enough to be boring but short enough that the guest can't change clothes, get somewhere else, get back, change clothes again and make it to the reception. A gap is essentially commanding your guests' time without actually hosting them. Not cool.

Also, this is an older thread...

nessiemmmkay

Reminds me of this wedding I read about a few month's ago: http://www.marriedinmilwaukee.com/iron-horse-wedding

Couple claims it went well, be interesting to have the perspective from a guest. I am not trying to say this is a good idea, but apparently it is a "thing". I personally wouldn't want to spend more than one day on the wedding, even if it was someone close to me, because I have to consider potentially taking off more time for work and also means I've potentially spent other time/money already for other things already like shower, parties, whatnot. I like lyndausvi's reference about the super bowl, I think that also explains it well.

badbnagdway

I don't really get breaking it up over two days. So, you have a ceremony, and then everyone just leaves and comes back together the next day? Wouldn't you want to eat and party with everyone? 

If you are worried about seeing your guests, something I think is nice (though always optional) is having another event that weekend for guests. I have seen the couple invite everyone to rehearsal dinner (if you are having a small wedding with mostly family this would probably work well). It could be super casual, like a bbq at home. Or, alternatively, I've been to weddings where the day after the wedding the bride and groom hosted a casual meal, ie, breakfast for everyone at the hotel, or again, a bbq. (I attended a wedding where the day after there was a crawfish boil).

As long as we can swing it we are planning to have a very casual drop-in brunch at our house the day after the wedding that guests can attend if they are still in town. Brunch will just be muffins, bagels, coffee, juice, and any booze we have left.

Junebug2015

I understand this sentiment, but you can accomplish this in other ways. Here are some suggestions:

• Have an open rehearsal dinner/welcome party the night before so you can mingle with guests and catch up with people the day of.
  
• Choose a venue where guests can stay on-site, and have activities during the day (yard games, etc.).
• I've gone to weddings where the bride or groom has organized "outings" the day before or the morning of the wedding for people interested - golf, going to see a movie, getting mani-pedis, etc. 
• Have a destination wedding. People will generally come and stay for a whole weekend and are more likely to be available for non-wedding get togethers.
• Host a breakfast or brunch the day after the wedding so you can see everyone before they take off.

Just remember that it's ultimately up to their guests whether they have the time and energy to attend this many wedding events in one weekend. If it feels to AWish, people will probably just want to skip it.

Vivandiere8

There are no pros, only cons to this idea.