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Etiquette

Save the Date or Early Invite? Or Word of Mouth?

rcher912rcher912 Philadelphia member
100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
FI and I are probably booking a hotel as our venue, although the date that we want, while available, is on a popular weekend and they won't block out rooms Saturday night (wedding is Sunday). So, this is probably fine, but it means that guests who definitely are out of town and need a room the night before need to book much earlier than usual. (September wedding, the weekend is the same weekend as a local college's family weekend - they get pretty booked up)

I was thinking about writing something on our save the dates (which are already ordered and ready to go, I know, I'm doing a lot of this backwards, but there's other situational factors), for those who I KNOW are going to do this, but now I just saw something about sending out invites early (which, while not ideal, would give them all the info they need). Then again, I could just contact the people in question in person, and have my mom help out, to make sure they understand the situation.

Thoughts? Advice? Pick a different weekend and change the save the dates?

Re: Save the Date or Early Invite? Or Word of Mouth?

  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    I would contact the people you're concerned about or include a note in with their STDs. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    fwtx5815[Deleted User]
  • WinstonsGirlWinstonsGirl The Cold North member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Don't send out invites early.  I always lose them that way.  Let people know if you think they need to know.  But if people can't stay at that specific hotel, they can always find another closer too.  It's a bit more work in getting there potentially, but I always see that as my issue as a guest, and not the Bride/Groom's issue in finding me a hotel
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  • lc07lc07 Sunny Southern California member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    rcher920 said:
    FI and I are probably booking a hotel as our venue, although the date that we want, while available, is on a popular weekend and they won't block out rooms Saturday night (wedding is Sunday). So, this is probably fine, but it means that guests who definitely are out of town and need a room the night before need to book much earlier than usual. (September wedding, the weekend is the same weekend as a local college's family weekend - they get pretty booked up)

    I was thinking about writing something on our save the dates (which are already ordered and ready to go, I know, I'm doing a lot of this backwards, but there's other situational factors), for those who I KNOW are going to do this, but now I just saw something about sending out invites early (which, while not ideal, would give them all the info they need). Then again, I could just contact the people in question in person, and have my mom help out, to make sure they understand the situation.

    Thoughts? Advice? Pick a different weekend and change the save the dates?

    Whatever you do, do NOT send out STDs or suggest that people make travel or hotel arrangements until you have a signed contract and deposit down.

    Personally, I think it's inconvenient to your guests to plan this weekend for your wedding. Presumably, all the other local hotels will fill up early, too. Many people don't know their work schedule or childcare situation or which date their brother is going to pick for a wedding next fall etc right now and it sounds like it will be a big PITA for people to make hotel arrangements a month or two out.

  • SP29SP29 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited December 2014
    I agree about not sending out the STDs UNTIL your contract is signed and deposit is paid. I would either contact the guests you are concerned about via word of mouth or attach a note to the STD. Realize though this may not solve the problem, as some people don't know their schedule so far in advance.

    I received a STD for my friend's wedding in March (which requires a plane flight) this past summer- I just got the OK for the time off work now. 
  • Our original pick for a wedding date was a NASCAR race weekend. Hotels fill up quickly and they go for about 1 and 1/2 to 2 times as much as a normal weekend. It was either tell people to book early or change our date. We choose to change our date. It wasn't worth it to put our guests through that much trouble or extra expense to come to our wedding. And like PP's have said don't do anything until a contract has been signed for all vendors, especially your venue. 
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