So this question has a lot of backstory, including major emotional abuse by my much older ex-h. I'm not going to go through all of the elements as I've already had to change my name on here to avoid my ex-husband. All you really need to know is that, due to how much he destroyed my life. my reaction post-trauma and abuse, stringent laws protecting fathers, and my following the advice of a terrible lawyer like a lamb to slaughter, has brought me here. I get to see my daughter for 24 hours a week. We are working hard to change that (with the help of a MUCH better lawyer who cannot believe what happened.) I left 2.5 yrs ago, and the divorce has been final for almost a year.
I'm need some advice on a different but related subject. My fiancé and I are getting married this coming summer. She and I have known each other for almost 12 years. We met in high school, long before either of us came out, lost touch over the years and found each other again last year.
We got engaged rather quickly because we knew who each other was and what we wanted. Sometimes life works out beautifully that way.
Now comes the difficult part of the re-marriage. My soon to be sister-in-law was nice when we were in high school, we were even friends, but since she found out that I only see my daughter one day a week, she's made all these terrible assumptions and won't let me near her daughter.
This is causing huge issue in the family. I love my in-laws, nobody wants to cause a problem but she was supposed to be my partner'ss Matron of Honor.
Now neither of us wants her to be in the wedding. If she's going to have such judgment of me without knowing any part of the story, and without asking. Her judgment is brutal, it's turned hate; she's sends such negative energy and hate me way whenever we're there and she won't let me near her daughter. I promise you, there is nothing in the divorce that had anything to do with me being a bad mom. In fact, I am a darn good one.
Because of this, we no longer want her in the wedding party. It's going to cause a huge rift in the family though. My partner's parents understand and agree but MIL wants us to couch it in the idea that "SiL is pregnant now so that's a lot to take on", and "she doesn't live close so it's really hard for her to help now". But that's not the truth. Nobody stuck up for me in my divorce, my ex even had my parents wrapped around his finger for a good while.
I just need someone to stick up for me, to tell someone that they can't place judgement on me when they don't know any part of the story; and my partner wants tell her that. Even her family isn't really a big fan of her sister, she's kind of a pain in ass, but this is going to be bad. At the same time why should someone who can't ask for the story, tells my partner she doesn't want me near her daughter, and refuses to hear about my daughter, who, BTW is healthy, happy, and doing well despite her strong desire to even out parent-child contact.
I hope this makes sense. My wrist was shattered so I use a dictation microphone and then have to go back to edit it all. Sometimes the microphone makes it a mess.