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Etiquette

Question Regarding Guest SOs

Hi y'all, 
I am in the beginning stages of planning my wedding and I learning the ropes of etiquette, so please excuse any ignorance on the matter. 

I recently served as a team leader with AmeriCorps (basically the domestic Peace Corps) alongside 28 other team leaders. Over our term of service, we became a small family and I intend to invite every one of them to my wedding. 

My question is this: in the time between the end of my service with them (about six months ago) and now, a handful of them have entered into relationships. I am wondering if it would be considered rude of me to extend the wedding invitation to the individual i served with and only that indivdual (basically not including any boyfriends or girlfriends they may have gained since). The reason I don't feel that this would be unreasonable is this: there will be a large group of the team leaders there, 28 if everyone attends. Thus, it will almost be a mini-reunion of sorts for the AmeriCorps alums who served together and hopefully this would eliminate any feeling of "if only I could have brought so-and-so, I don't know anyone here". Additionally, I feel that I cannot extend invitations to a handful of peoples' significant others without offering a plus-one for each team leader, effectively adding 28 people to my guest list. 

Again, I am learning the ropes of etiquette and am concerned about whether or not this would be inconsiderate/rude/unacceptable/generally frowned upon. 


TL;DR
If I am inviting a large group of people who know each other from a shared year-long experience, must I also invite each of their boyfriends/girlfriends?

Thank you in advance for your input! 
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Re: Question Regarding Guest SOs

  • slothiegalslothiegal The Sloth Farm member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    Yes, you MUST invite significant others.
    Anniversary

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    JCbride2015fwtx5815[Deleted User]
  • mikenbergermikenberger In a f'n cornfield member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    You have to invite SOs. You are not required to extend a plus one to someone without a SO.

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    [Deleted User]
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited December 2014
    Yes, it would be rude not to invite the people your invited guests are in relationships with.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    [Deleted User]
  • Plus ones are not the same as SOs.  Including SOs does not mean you have to extend plus ones.  You do, however, have to include SOs.


    How would you feel to be invited somewhere without your SO?  You are not inviting them to an AmeriCorps reunion where you all meet up at Applebee's and reminisce over chicken fingers.  You are inviting them to proper social function, so treat them as such.

    SP29fwtx5815[Deleted User]
  • Thanks for clearing that up for me! Like I said, I am a newbie to wedding etiquette and trying to learn the ropes. This helps. 
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    JCbride2015lovegood90SP29[Deleted User]
  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 Boston Suburbs member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    You have to invite the SO of everyone invited to your wedding. You do not have to invite single people with plus ones.

    Not inviting a SO to a wedding is one of the most egregious etiquette blunders you could do.
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    [Deleted User]
  • esstee33esstee33 Pittsburgh member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    jcover1 said:
    Hi y'all, 
    I am in the beginning stages of planning my wedding and I learning the ropes of etiquette, so please excuse any ignorance on the matter. 

    I recently served as a team leader with AmeriCorps (basically the domestic Peace Corps) alongside 28 other team leaders. Over our term of service, we became a small family and I intend to invite every one of them to my wedding. 

    My question is this: in the time between the end of my service with them (about six months ago) and now, a handful of them have entered into relationships. I am wondering if it would be considered rude of me to extend the wedding invitation to the individual i served with and only that indivdual (basically not including any boyfriends or girlfriends they may have gained since). The reason I don't feel that this would be unreasonable is this: there will be a large group of the team leaders there, 28 if everyone attends. Thus, it will almost be a mini-reunion of sorts for the AmeriCorps alums who served together and hopefully this would eliminate any feeling of "if only I could have brought so-and-so, I don't know anyone here". Additionally, I feel that I cannot extend invitations to a handful of peoples' significant others without offering a plus-one for each team leader, effectively adding 28 people to my guest list. 

    Again, I am learning the ropes of etiquette and am concerned about whether or not this would be inconsiderate/rude/unacceptable/generally frowned upon. 


    TL;DR
    If I am inviting a large group of people who know each other from a shared year-long experience, must I also invite each of their boyfriends/girlfriends?

    Thank you in advance for your input! 
    As PPs have covered, you must invite actual significant others, but you don't HAVE to extend a plus one to anyone who is truly single. It's always a nice gesture if you can make room for it in your budget, but they're not required. You also have the added benefit of the single people being from an established group of people who know each other already, so even without a guest they'll be comfortable in their group. 
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    fwtx5815
  • Great, that clears a lot up. 

    Now, what if someone is single at the time when I send my invitations out and a plus-one was not included, but they then enter into a relationship before the wedding? What is the etiquette protocol for those scenarios? Do I amend their initial invite to include the new SO, or does the initial invite stand since the SO was not in the picture at the time invitations were mailed? 

    Trying to dot all of my proverbial i's here, as I want to avoid as many blunders and be as gracious a host as possible. 
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  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 Boston Suburbs member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    jcover1 said:
    Great, that clears a lot up. 

    Now, what if someone is single at the time when I send my invitations out and a plus-one was not included, but they then enter into a relationship before the wedding? What is the etiquette protocol for those scenarios? Do I amend their initial invite to include the new SO, or does the initial invite stand since the SO was not in the picture at the time invitations were mailed? 

    Trying to dot all of my proverbial i's here, as I want to avoid as many blunders and be as gracious a host as possible. 
    If they are not in a relationship when the invitations go out (which should be around 8 weeks before the wedding, not 4 months), than you are not required to invite their new SO. However, if you can fit them in, it's a nice gesture.
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    esstee33SP29fwtx5815
  • What a nice OP! Actually trying to learn proper etiquette and taking others' advice. Props to you!
    aurorajanette[Deleted User]
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    You should do what you can to accommodate new relationships. It's wise to build in wiggle room in your guest count and budget for relationships that pop up after invitations go out.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • jcover1 said:
    Thanks for clearing that up for me! Like I said, I am a newbie to wedding etiquette and trying to learn the ropes. This helps. 
    Agree with the PP.  Definitely stick around on the forums and you will learn a lot.  There is a lot of great advice here for the taking!

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    [Deleted User]
  • If someone enters a relationship after your invites go out you are not required to invite the new SO, but it's a nice gesture.

    B-listing is a big no-no, but this is one instance where inviting someone after the fact is OK if you have space due to declines. 
    [Deleted User]
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