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Etiquette

Name change after wedding

Hey ladies! What's the procedure with name change after your wedding? I know you have to start with SSA, DMV, etc., but have you all waited until after your honeymoon to get everything done? We get married on a Sunday and leave for our honeymoon on Tuesday so I have a day in-between but I imagine it's stressful. Advice? Anything is helpful! Thanks everyone!

Re: Name change after wedding

  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 Boston Suburbs member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2014
    mrsdela27 said:
    Hey ladies! What's the procedure with name change after your wedding? I know you have to start with SSA, DMV, etc., but have you all waited until after your honeymoon to get everything done? We get married on a Sunday and leave for our honeymoon on Tuesday so I have a day in-between but I imagine it's stressful. Advice? Anything is helpful! Thanks everyone!
    I didn't change my name, but you should book your honeymoon in your maiden name. 

    You will not have your passport, ID etc in that short amount of time. I suppose it might be possible, depending on your state, but you wouldn't want to risk not having the correct ID.

     My state issues temporary ID's until the real one comes in the mail, so it's probably best to wait so there are no identification issues on your honeymoon.
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    esstee33
  • esstee33esstee33 Pittsburgh member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    mrsdela27 said:
    Hey ladies! What's the procedure with name change after your wedding? I know you have to start with SSA, DMV, etc., but have you all waited until after your honeymoon to get everything done? We get married on a Sunday and leave for our honeymoon on Tuesday so I have a day in-between but I imagine it's stressful. Advice? Anything is helpful! Thanks everyone!

    I changed my name after my first wedding after we got back from our honeymoon. I'll do the same this time, since we're getting married out of state and won't be back until after our honeymoon. 

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  • slothiegalslothiegal The Sloth Farm member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    We did the same thing--married on Sunday, left on HM on Tuesday. As others have said, definitely wait until after you get back to take care of the name change --come that Monday, you are going to be EXHAUSTED and the last thing you want or need is an extra thing to stress over.
    Anniversary

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  • esstee33esstee33 Pittsburgh member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    mrsdela27 said:
    Hey ladies! What's the procedure with name change after your wedding? I know you have to start with SSA, DMV, etc., but have you all waited until after your honeymoon to get everything done? We get married on a Sunday and leave for our honeymoon on Tuesday so I have a day in-between but I imagine it's stressful. Advice? Anything is helpful! Thanks everyone!
    I didn't change my name, but you should book your honeymoon in your maiden name. 

    You will not have your passport, ID etc in that short amount of time. I suppose it might be possible, depending on your state, but you wouldn't want to risk not having the correct ID.

     My state issues temporary ID's until the real one comes in the mail, so it's probably best to wait so there are no identification issues on your honeymoon.

    ***SITB*** 

    Yeah, all of this, too. My old state gave driver's licenses immediately, but my social security card took about two weeks to come in. Passports took even longer.
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  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    You'll need a copy of the marriage license to change it with SSA. In my state, we had to mail it in to the town clerk and wait for it to be sent back. It arrived after we got back from our HM.

    Book all if your stuff in your maiden name. Change your name when you get back.

  • misshart00misshart00 Oklahoma member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    Agree with PP that you should go on your honeymoon in your maiden name. You'll have to get your marriage license back before you can do anything. The rest depends on your state. I changed my drivers license first and my SS card last (which I did by mail and didn't have to wait in line at the office).
  • Thanks for all the help. Everything is booked in my maiden name (the wedding is in one week!!!) so no worries there. As for the marriage license, I know it has to be filed within 5 days of the wedding where I live, so I guess that's the only thing I have to do before we go away? Do they mail you a certified copy or how does that work? I guess it depends where you live?
  • misshart00misshart00 Oklahoma member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    mrsdela27 said:
    Thanks for all the help. Everything is booked in my maiden name (the wedding is in one week!!!) so no worries there. As for the marriage license, I know it has to be filed within 5 days of the wedding where I live, so I guess that's the only thing I have to do before we go away? Do they mail you a certified copy or how does that work? I guess it depends where you live?

    A lot of times, the officiant sends it in. However, we had a weekday between the wedding and leaving for our honeymoon so we went and filed it ourselves and got certified copies while standing there. I would check with the county clerk where you're getting married to see what your options are for filing.
  • Our officiant sent in our license to be filed.  We had a copy with in a week or so and I started the name change about 3 weeks after we were married.  SSA has to give you a letter or you can wait for a new card to come in the mail.  I ended up getting it all finalized within 6 weeks of our wedding (mostly procrastinating on the DMV part, getting time off work to go) and then did all the name changes on my CC, subscriptions, etc.

    Photobucket

  • In my province I had to wait until we received our official marriage certificate before I could change my name- so that was a couple months later!! I changed my driver's license first, because then I had photo ID to change the rest (passport and social insurance namely). Most places want you to update with change of name usually within a month, but it's not a big rush.

    I would make a list of all the places you need to change your name- particularly as your mail comes in. I kept finding places where my name hadn't been changed for MONTHS later (like the dentist who I see twice per year- OH RIGHT! That's why you can't find me in the patient list ;) ). 

    Our officiant mailed our license, so we didn't have to do that.

    Make sure your travel documents are all in the same name as other ID you have (so for your HM, likely your maiden name). We went on our HM in the US (from Canada), and our travel consultant told us to bring a copy of our certificate just in case. We didn't need it because we went on our HM months after the wedding so all my ID had been changed, but I think it's a good idea if you haven't changed your name yet and you are crossing a boarder (so you can prove you are husband and wife despite different last names). 
  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 Boston Suburbs member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    SP29 said:
    In my province I had to wait until we received our official marriage certificate before I could change my name- so that was a couple months later!! I changed my driver's license first, because then I had photo ID to change the rest (passport and social insurance namely). Most places want you to update with change of name usually within a month, but it's not a big rush.

    I would make a list of all the places you need to change your name- particularly as your mail comes in. I kept finding places where my name hadn't been changed for MONTHS later (like the dentist who I see twice per year- OH RIGHT! That's why you can't find me in the patient list ;) ). 

    Our officiant mailed our license, so we didn't have to do that.

    Make sure your travel documents are all in the same name as other ID you have (so for your HM, likely your maiden name). We went on our HM in the US (from Canada), and our travel consultant told us to bring a copy of our certificate just in case. We didn't need it because we went on our HM months after the wedding so all my ID had been changed, but I think it's a good idea if you haven't changed your name yet and you are crossing a boarder (so you can prove you are husband and wife despite different last names). 
    How will they have the marriage certificate yet, if it has to be mailed in and she is going 2 days after her wedding? Also, plenty of people don't change their names upon marriage. Why would you have to prove you were married? Do I have to carry my marriage license around forever? 
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  • I guess 2 days later she wouldn't, unless she has a copy of the license.

    It was suggested to us by the travel coordinator since we were going for our honeymoon (probably more in case we needed to show the hotel if we were getting any "specials"?). 

    If one was in a foreign country and heaven forbid one party ended up at the hospital, the other may have to prove they are the husband/wife. 

    I don't know what people do who don't change their names, but I've known people who have had issues, either between husband/wife, or a woman who has a different name than her children. The later happened to someone I know at her children's school- it was an issue over the phone, but they wouldn't accept that she was their mother because the name was different (which is completely silly- but it happens). 
  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 Boston Suburbs member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    SP29 said:
    I guess 2 days later she wouldn't, unless she has a copy of the license.

    It was suggested to us by the travel coordinator since we were going for our honeymoon (probably more in case we needed to show the hotel if we were getting any "specials"?). 

    If one was in a foreign country and heaven forbid one party ended up at the hospital, the other may have to prove they are the husband/wife. 

    I don't know what people do who don't change their names, but I've known people who have had issues, either between husband/wife, or a woman who has a different name than her children. The later happened to someone I know at her children's school- it was an issue over the phone, but they wouldn't accept that she was their mother because the name was different (which is completely silly- but it happens). 
    Well idiots are everywhere, what are you going to do. With so many different types of blended families, people need to get with the times. 

    That sounds like a pretty unprofessional school, or at least whoever answered the phone. Considering that I'm sure you have to state who the parents are on the school forms every year, all someone would have to do is look at the records if there was an issue. Oh Susie Smith's mother is Lucy Carlson, ok. In that situation, a marriage license wouldn't help anyway, since it was over the phone.

    The honeymoon specials make sense, I guess.
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  • slothiegalslothiegal The Sloth Farm member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    SP29 said:
    I guess 2 days later she wouldn't, unless she has a copy of the license.

    It was suggested to us by the travel coordinator since we were going for our honeymoon (probably more in case we needed to show the hotel if we were getting any "specials"?). 

    If one was in a foreign country and heaven forbid one party ended up at the hospital, the other may have to prove they are the husband/wife. 

    I don't know what people do who don't change their names, but I've known people who have had issues, either between husband/wife, or a woman who has a different name than her children. The later happened to someone I know at her children's school- it was an issue over the phone, but they wouldn't accept that she was their mother because the name was different (which is completely silly- but it happens). 
    Yeah, this was what we did.  Our officiant brought the original and a copy to rehearsal, H and I and witnesses signed both, and on the wedding day, the officiant signed both and returned the copy to us.  Obviously it wasn't "official", but it was enough to get us some discounts!
    Anniversary

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    SP29
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