Flat out - my parents and those on their "side" of the fall out will absolutely NOT be invited. They made their bed. I burned the bridge and built a shopping mall on the grounds. Shortish version, I adopted twin girls with extremely minor disabilities from China. They disapprove - I wasn't married (so what, I wanted to be a Mommy, adoption it was), my babies are "defective mutants" (had my mother said that to my face, screw the Ten Commandments, I'd have punched her out.), I shouldn't waste money (my girls are the best parts of my life, the money was worth it, I'd pay 10 times as much), I couldn't afford children (ha, Chinese laws on international adoption made sure I can afford to care for children before I even had my home study), I didn't know what I was getting into (sure, but what parent does ever?) and the worst sin from me is they are "ethnic slur"/not blonde and blue eyed (thus I poured fuel oil on the bridge.)
Several vendors who we aren't going to work with were pushy on my parents being involved.
But how do I respond reasonably nicely when potential vendors ask about my parents? Since I suspect "They're f---ing loser trash and are not ever going to be in my life." might not be exactly polite and adult. I've tried "They're not involved." But that just gets me "Oh, we're so sorry, would you like a memorial for them?" at mostly acceptable to "If you can't respect your family, you're too young to get married." which unacceptable beyond belief. I do respect my family. They're almost 5 years old and my fiance. My parents are not family. My future in laws are family. My FMIL gave both girls Ohana necklaces for Christmas because they're her granddaughters now and they'll always be family, have a home and be loved.