HELP! In a short period of time our wedding planning has gotten out of control and lead to some hurtful conversations. We are not seeing eye to eye and neither are our parents. In the end, the bride is in tears
I come from a large family where family is very important. My dad has five siblings and my mom seven. All of whom are married and have children.
My fiancé on the other hand has a small family who are close but definitely not near the size of my family. His mom- One sister and step father- one sister.
My immediate family (parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins) is about 100 people. Where my fiancé's is about 25. Both sides includes guests. This also includes me eliminating about 15 cousins under the age of 16 which will cause a few hurt feelings later on when family finds out.
We have 10 groomsmen and 7 bridesmaids who will all bring dates to the wedding. Additionally we have about 40 friends of ours.
My fiancé and his mother feel that because my family is 100 people they should be entitled to 75 friends of his parents to even the numbers. I however strongly disagree.
My parents would like to have 40 friends and I feel as though his mom should stay within that number. Family is family to me, if he has cousins I should have my cousins who I want there. He is having all of his aunts and uncles and I should have the same. I do not feel as though I should pick and choose family to stay keeping the numbers even and to have future mother in law invite less of her friends. Most of whom I do not know and are not close with my fiancé.
If we strictly split the number in half, he would have all of his friends, family and parents friends at the wedding and I would have to pick from my immediate family members in order to have room for my bridesmaids. I would have no friends at wedding and neither would my parents. Also my father has offered to pay for a large portion of the wedding which future in laws have not.
I think it is fair to invite immediate family from both sides, and then split the remaining people 1/3,1/3, and 1/3 between us and our parents.
I don't want any feeling to be hurt, but we can't even talk about it anymore because everyone is emotionally exhausted. Anyone have similar problems? How did you handle it?