Out of state wedding

Knottie08134669

We are planning on getting married at an art gallery where we took our first vacation as a couple. We have a few friends going but it's pretty far that our parents aren't attending. We were wanting to do a reception at home when we got back but once we started getting our ducks lined up we realized that the reception will be extremely expensive and that we might possibly want to forgo it. I was wondering if anyone had ideas on how we could incorporate how we can celebrate our new marriage with friends and family without spending 8grand on a big reception or should we just go ahead and do it? 

Blue_Bird

Congratulations on your engagement! Your choice of venue sounds very special. You do have to have a reception for the guests who attend your ceremony. It doesn't need to be fancy, and it certainly doesn't need to cost $8,000. Since your guest list is small, I suggest just taking everyone to a local restaurant afterward. You can talk to the manager about a prearranged menu, and possibly even cake.

Blue_Bird

The celebration when you return isn't necessary. Just invite everyone to your house for dinner if you like.

mikenberger

Knottie08134669 said:

We are planning on getting married at an art gallery where we took our first vacation as a couple. We have a few friends going but it's pretty far that our parents aren't attending. We were wanting to do a reception at home when we got back but once we started getting our ducks lined up we realized that the reception will be extremely expensive and that we might possibly want to forgo it. I was wondering if anyone had ideas on how we could incorporate how we can celebrate our new marriage with friends and family without spending 8grand on a big reception or should we just go ahead and do it? 

Why not just go out with your parents after you return for dinner or something? You don't have to have a big elaborate reception to celebrate your marriage. You're already married It's legal and official! Sounds like you already have something very lovely planned. Hopefully you'll be doing something for those making the trip as well.

climbingsingle

This can be the downside of planning a destination wedding. It's not necessary to have a big reception when you get home. You chose the type of wedding you want to have, so go with it. Maybe go out to dinner with your parents when you return. 

amelisha

Yeah, there's no need to "celebrate your marriage" with everyone you know if you don't want to or don't have the budget. Just have your small wedding - that's the joy of an intimate event, that you don't have to spend a bunch of money on a huge party afterwards. I'm with the PPs, just invite your nearest and dearest for dinner or something after if you need to do something.

southernbelle0915

It sounds like just a few friends will be attending your DW and it sounds lovely. You do need to host them for something (to thank them for attending) after the ceremony. I agree with @Blue_Bird - it shouldn't be difficult or too expensive to find a local restaurant, maybe even a private room. 

As far as the AHR, it's unnecessary. If you want to have an AHR, just get married at home. Maybe do your honeymoon where you took your first vacation. But not both. Just take your parents out to dinner and meet some friends at the bar.

CMGragain

Any parties or celebrations that you have when you return home will not be a part of your wedding.  You only get one wedding day.  Feel free to have as many parties (or not) as you wish.  They will not be wedding receptions.
Your wedding reception is for your guests after your ceremony at or near your destination.

whovianstark

I agree with the PPs. I am having the same thing (destination wedding) and my parents were trying to force me to have a reception at home so people don't feel left out, but I was like "why? they have the choice to go to my wedding, they are making the choice to go or not". I'm perfectly fine with having a party but I wasn't going to spend the money so others don't feel left out.

jacques27

Here's the secret about almost all of the people that brides and grooms assume want to be included and plan all these parties for...

Sure, people are happy for you.  And most people like to have a good time so if you throw a party they'll be more than happy to attend.  And most people like to do special things with and for their friends and family to help them celebrate (and it doesn't have to be a party - it could be a small gift, or getting together for coffee to look at wedding pictures or whatever).  But if you tell them you're just having a small destination wedding, the good majority of people will maybe be disappointed that they won't have a big party to go to help you celebrate for like a minute...and then they move on with their lives.  They aren't sitting there moping about being excluded and pining away.

So with that in mind - my vote is either take the money you would have spent on a big party and offer it up to pay for your parents' travel expenses so they can be there, too, or take your parents out to a nice dinner to celebrate when you get back and throw a nice non-wedding related backyard BBQ to hang out with your friends if you still feel the need to party.