Snarky Brides

I didn't realize getting married was a competition...

My mother has a big circle of friends which includes one big, rude, lush of a woman who I personally can't stand. Still, she's a friend of my mother's so I'm polite to her. Her daughter, who is my age and actually pretty sweet, just got engaged to her equally sweet boyfriend and when I saw my mother's friend at a holiday party last week, I congratulated her on her daughter's engagement.

Nose in the air and smirk on her face, she responded with "we already booked the venue and the date. And guess what? She's getting married before you!"

For a bit of background, I've been engaged for well over a year and still not getting married until later next year. My FI and I chose a long engagement because we are mostly paying for the wedding ourselves. Knowing this friend of my mother's, she and her husband are probably paying for everything and she will have her hands dipped in every aspect of the wedding planning. I don't understand why people think it's a competition. Next it will be that her daughter is pregnant before me. 

I hope she buys a hideous MOB dress and spills wine on herself like she usually does at parties.
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Re: I didn't realize getting married was a competition...

  • Love it!  My favorite tactic for that kind of person is to "misunderstand" their nettles and put on my best "sweet as sugar, well bless her heart" attitude.  I would have enthusiastically responded with, "That's fantastic!  What venue did you all choose?" then gushing, "She is going to be such a beautiful bride, please send her my love."

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  • I would have responded with "Hmm, I had no idea this was a race?" and then walked away.

  • Oh god I'd be so tempted to just fuck with that woman by saying I have all these extravagant things planned for my wedding and watching her try to outdo them.

    "Oh, well I'll bet she doesn't have a life sized ice sculpture of her and her fiancé.  Because I just hired an ice guy today.  Top that." 
    THIS

    I would absolutely do this. Tell her you are arriving by helicopter while a string quartet plays "You Light Up My Life."
  • You ladies crack me up! Totally throw in "details" to see how far she goes to one up you!

    I understand where you are coming from.. FI and I have been together for 6 years, own two houses, and lived together for 5.5yrs. I got stuck on a boat with girls from college once, one was bragging about her upcoming wedding (which I knew was doomed from before she said yes) and turned the convo to me "why aren't you married yet?" well, it's not a race darling.. Side note: marriage lasted 9 months,she has been divorced for 2 years, I bet she is so glad she "won" that "race"! Got in a marriage AND divorce BEFORE any of the rest of us! SCORE!

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  • *stage whisper* It's so lovely you are still supporting them. Is she showing the bump in her dress or scrambling to loose weight post baby? Oh, sorry, usually rush weddings are for the surprise baby. How's the bean dip?

    Away from stage Mommy - *maniacal laughter*
  • I love one-sided competitions! I have a cousin that's about 8 years younger than me, and her mom is always trying to brag/compete with my mom about me. "Jane just got asked to be in this honors program in the 8th graded. Did MandyMost get asked to be in the honors program in 8th grade!". Hahahahaha. Thank goodness there were no other family weddings around mine, or I'm sure I would have been in the same boat!

    I've been known to make certain comments to some more traditional brides (or their moms) who try to brag about wedding stuff. I've definitely said "I am way too old to make my friends wear ridiculous matching dresses" to a mom of a bride about my age, as well as "I can't imagine singling out my unmarried friends, all of whom are 30+, in public, and then throwing something at them" in regards to the bouquet toss...it really shuts down the people bragging about all their wedding plans when you just happen to talk about how stupid some stuff is in front of them!
  • yogadevilyogadevil member
    100 Love Its 10 Comments Name Dropper
    edited January 2015
    Beat her to the punch and get pregnant now, because you totally need a cuter flower girl than her ;)
  • Oh god I'd be so tempted to just fuck with that woman by saying I have all these extravagant things planned for my wedding and watching her try to outdo them.

    "Oh, well I'll bet she doesn't have a life sized ice sculpture of her and her fiancé.  Because I just hired an ice guy today.  Top that." 
    THIS

    I would absolutely do this. Tell her you are arriving by helicopter while a string quartet plays "You Light Up My Life."

    I actually did go to a wedding where the ceremony was held on a lake and the reception was a few miles away on the same lake.  The groom surprised his bride by having a plane with pontoons waiting after the ceremony to fly them to the reception.  How fun!

    No string quartet, though, lol.

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    She sounds like a real peach! I probably would have been left speechless at her rudeness. FH and I decided to have a long engagement... A little over two years. So of course a lot of people have made comments about it, especially since we've been together for 8 years. 

    I find it really annoying, rude, and unnecessary to comment to their face about the length of engagement. A friend of mine who dated and married her now H in less than a year made a comment about how we're waiting so long she won't even be alive to see the wedding. I didn't make a comment about her short ass engagement and dating period, so why was it okay for her to do? I just don't see the rush in things. I'd rather take my time.


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  • *stage whisper* So soon? What's the hurry? Any buns in the oven? Should I expect shotguns at the wedding? I suspect you'll do most of the planning then, since you're so knowledgeable, yeah? FI and I were just waiting a while to save up to have one of several bands cameo at the wedding to do a medley of their hits, we just can't choose which one! Have you tried the wine?

    But in all seriousness, I'm bracing for these comments considering our engagement is about a year and a half, minimum.
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