FI and I have been engaged now for two weeks. It was not anything out of the blue, and my parents were both aware this was coming. We have been together for two years - we met at jury duty (kid you not) and from the moment we met, had a crazy connection that has turned into the love of my life. My parents adore him. Think he is the best thing that has ever happened to me .. Yada Yada. So him being the right one in my parents eyes is not the issue with my mother.
The night we got engaged (we randomly stopped for a photo op at the court house and as I was fumbling to take a selfie he got down on one knee) my mother was ecstatic - crying tears of joy.. Saying she has never been happier etc etc
Let me tell you a bit about my mom ... She is the most anti social, attention hating person I have ever met. She refuses family photos. Won't sit in anything but a secluded booth at a restaurant. And unfortunately, she has some hoarding tendencies. And most importantly .. Finances. She has not been great when it comes to handling money responsibly. I could go on and on with the list.
So here I am, two weeks later. FI and I are going to be paying for the wedding ourselves. We have an appointment this weekend to look at our first venue. I'm freakin EXCITED! We know what budget we have to work with, we are sticking within our means. We a financially responsible and stable. I tell my mom about the appointment, her answer .. "WHY?" Womp womp. She then goes on to say that we are insane for spending money on a wedding (I want a nice wedding!), we should have a backyard wedding (no no no no), we need to use our savings to buy a house and not a wedding (we are not ready for a house!) ... She is being SUPER unsupportive. This is supposed to be an exciting time for me ... I'm not going balls to the wall trying to get every detail of our 2016 wedding booked NOW but there are a few things I want to get a head start on, one of them being the venue.
It really just totally murdered my vibe. Then lit it on fire and left it to burn. Am I too early in this process to think that maybe I just am on my own for this whole wedding deal? That she can't get over her own insecurities and be happy and supportive of my planning? I have a gut feeling the thought of the social interactions surrounding her daughter getting married is stressing her out. That along with her view on finances .. She just thinks it's absurd to spend money on a wedding. It's very upsetting to me. Have any of you ladies experienced this type of reaction? Ugh times a thousand.
This is why we can't have nice things.