Invite or not invite

jeterbabe

"Egg shells" and "it's a start" are far from engaged.  Does this man  know you're still planning a wedding??    My aunt was a wedding planner for 27 years.   Your posts remind me of her clients who cared more about a wedding and being married than they did about their relationship.  She always said she would never take on a client if she couldn't meet the FI because some women put the cart before the horse.

You need to take things in order of priority.  The first thing on the list should be determining if you even have a relationship. 

mikenberger

PhoneCardLady said:

Knottie93085129 said:

I'm confused about why you're worried about inviting folks to your wedding.    Didn't your FI break things off?  (In November you posted about wanting your relationship back.)

Right now we are on egg shells, but at least it's a start.

Knottie93085129 said:

"Egg shells" and "it's a start" are far from engaged.  Does this man  know you're still planning a wedding??    My aunt was a wedding planner for 27 years.   Your posts remind me of her clients who cared more about a wedding and being married than they did about their relationship.  She always said she would never take on a client if she couldn't meet the FI because some women put the cart before the horse.

You need to take things in order of priority.  The first thing on the list should be determining if you even have a relationship. 

Oh dear. Eggshells is no way to start a marriage. 

PhoneCardLady

We are not engaged, nor married. We are trying to patch things up but it very delicate, thus walking on eggshells.

Planning a wedding?  Far from it.  I was just asking a question. I got my answer.

mikenberger

PhoneCardLady said:

We are not engaged, nor married. We are trying to patch things up but it very delicate, thus walking on eggshells.

Then why in the world are you busying your mind if you should or should not invite people to your wedding?

jeterbabe

The original post leaves little doubt a wedding is being planned. And if a person is not engaged, then they should not refer to someone as their FI.

A rather bizarre situation overall.

redoryx

PhoneCardLady said:

We are not engaged, nor married. We are trying to patch things up but it very delicate, thus walking on eggshells.

Planning a wedding?  Far from it.  I was just asking a question. I got my answer.

Um, then why are you talking like you are?

jeterbabe

mikenberger said:

Then why in the world are you busying your mind if you should or should not invite people to your wedding?

Confusing, isn't it?  The OP talks about the different aspects of her wedding but isn't planning a wedding.

plainjane0415

I've heard it all now.

redoryx

I'm sorry, at this point in the conversation all I can think of is a teenager doodling Mrs. So and So all over her notebooks while wearing a pillow case over her head like a veil.

slothiegal

Well this went from weird to downright "da fuq?".

antoto

If you're not planning a wedding then.... quit planning a wedding?

Viczaesar

PhoneCardLady said:

FYI - I have gone thru the mods first and I was ok'd to post this.

My uncle married a woman who had four children from a previous marriage.  He NEVER adopted them, but did have two children with this woman.

I now have 19 cousins just on one side of the family - single, married, separated, divorced or widowed.  This does not include the four children (who are now adults).  This doesn't include any SO's.

I have no plans on inviting my cousins, but my mom thinks I should invite them , including the ones who were never adopted.  Now I know that the one who pays has a say, and at this point neither of my parents are contributing.  Funds would not allow a huge wedding anyway.

At this point I want it to be the officiant (and SO),  my parents, my brother (single, no SO), my sister (divorced, no SO) and her two adult children (neither has a SO).  FI wants his mom and step dad (has been estranged from his biological father since 1979), brother and SO, his one aunt and two cousins (with SO's). I am ok with this.  

I'd like opinions on this as children that are not adopted are not addressed in the Who Do I Need To Invite thread, otherwise I think eloping may be the only answer.

All that stuff I bolded?  All stuff that clearly shows that you are planning a wedding, despite being not engaged and "walking on egg shells"  in your relationship.  Planning a wedding when you're barely getting along well enough to be described as dating?  That's what crazy people do.

VulgarGirl

@Knottie93085129‌ you sound very smart and lovely and I want you to stay. So could you pretty please change your s/n so we can tell you apart from the other knottie# people?

jeterbabe

MagicInk said:

@Knottie93085129‌ you sound very smart and lovely and I want you to stay. So could you pretty please change your s/n so we can tell you apart from the other knottie# people?

Thanks, Magicink.  I've been trying to change it all week.  Mission accomplished this morning. 

VulgarGirl

Wait a second...is eloping the only option because you plan on drugging the groom and dragging him off to be married when he doesn't want to get married?

Cause...pretty sure both parties have to be conscious to have a valid marriage.