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Loud mouth at restaurant. . . What would you do?

On NYE DH and I went out to a nice restaurant for dinner.  They were doing a 4 course prix fixe for $85 per person.  The food was out of this world, like really amazing.  We were having a great time until just before our dessert came out.  That's when a group of 10 of the loudest people I have ever met came into the restaurant.  They were sat a few tables from us.  Unfortunately for a group of people we know casually, they were sat at the adjacent table!  First it took the group about 10 minutes of standing around talking loudly to decide who was sitting where.  When they finally sat they were still shouting, taking photos, passing beers around the table to share with each other, etc.  Our friend at the table next to them actually came over to us to quietly mention how ridiculous they were being.  I felt awful for them!

We finished out dessert as quickly as we could and got the heck out of there. 

What would you do?  I feel like if we were earlier in our meal and they didn't come down I would say something to management, discreetly if possible.  Is that obnoxious?  This restaurant is a nice classy restaurant, they serve a high end menu and $85 is a lot to spend on a meal to have it ruined by douchecanoes.  I mention the price specifically to let you know the caliber of restaurant, not to brag about fancy dinner because I certainly feel that my thoughts would be different if I was at a chain restaurant like TGIFridays.  When I go there I expect that people might be rowdy, or kids might be running around or acting up, etc.
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Re: Loud mouth at restaurant. . . What would you do?

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    kaos16 said:
    On NYE DH and I went out to a nice restaurant for dinner.  They were doing a 4 course prix fixe for $85 per person.  The food was out of this world, like really amazing.  We were having a great time until just before our dessert came out.  That's when a group of 10 of the loudest people I have ever met came into the restaurant.  They were sat a few tables from us.  Unfortunately for a group of people we know casually, they were sat at the adjacent table!  First it took the group about 10 minutes of standing around talking loudly to decide who was sitting where.  When they finally sat they were still shouting, taking photos, passing beers around the table to share with each other, etc.  Our friend at the table next to them actually came over to us to quietly mention how ridiculous they were being.  I felt awful for them!

    We finished out dessert as quickly as we could and got the heck out of there. 

    What would you do?  I feel like if we were earlier in our meal and they didn't come down I would say something to management, discreetly if possible.  Is that obnoxious?  This restaurant is a nice classy restaurant, they serve a high end menu and $85 is a lot to spend on a meal to have it ruined by douchecanoes.  I mention the price specifically to let you know the caliber of restaurant, not to brag about fancy dinner because I certainly feel that my thoughts would be different if I was at a chain restaurant like TGIFridays.  When I go there I expect that people might be rowdy, or kids might be running around or acting up, etc.
    What's the overall atmosphere of the restaurant? I've spent $100 a plate at restaurants that were just loud by nature, so these people would've fit right in. But if it was a restaurant where it was quiet and candlelit... I'd be livid. 

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    kaos16 said:
    On NYE DH and I went out to a nice restaurant for dinner.  They were doing a 4 course prix fixe for $85 per person.  The food was out of this world, like really amazing.  We were having a great time until just before our dessert came out.  That's when a group of 10 of the loudest people I have ever met came into the restaurant.  They were sat a few tables from us.  Unfortunately for a group of people we know casually, they were sat at the adjacent table!  First it took the group about 10 minutes of standing around talking loudly to decide who was sitting where.  When they finally sat they were still shouting, taking photos, passing beers around the table to share with each other, etc.  Our friend at the table next to them actually came over to us to quietly mention how ridiculous they were being.  I felt awful for them!

    We finished out dessert as quickly as we could and got the heck out of there. 

    What would you do?  I feel like if we were earlier in our meal and they didn't come down I would say something to management, discreetly if possible.  Is that obnoxious?  This restaurant is a nice classy restaurant, they serve a high end menu and $85 is a lot to spend on a meal to have it ruined by douchecanoes.  I mention the price specifically to let you know the caliber of restaurant, not to brag about fancy dinner because I certainly feel that my thoughts would be different if I was at a chain restaurant like TGIFridays.  When I go there I expect that people might be rowdy, or kids might be running around or acting up, etc.
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    I probably would say something to the management, but that's just how I am.  Or honestly if I was really annoyed, I might just go over to their table directly.  I'm a bitch, what can I say?
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    When my server came to check on me and asked how everything was, I would probably mention it then.
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    I would definitely say something about it. If I am spending $85 per person I want to enjoy that food and not have to worry about whether or not I can hear my dining partner.
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    kaos16 said:
    On NYE DH and I went out to a nice restaurant for dinner.  They were doing a 4 course prix fixe for $85 per person.  The food was out of this world, like really amazing.  We were having a great time until just before our dessert came out.  That's when a group of 10 of the loudest people I have ever met came into the restaurant.  They were sat a few tables from us.  Unfortunately for a group of people we know casually, they were sat at the adjacent table!  First it took the group about 10 minutes of standing around talking loudly to decide who was sitting where.  When they finally sat they were still shouting, taking photos, passing beers around the table to share with each other, etc.  Our friend at the table next to them actually came over to us to quietly mention how ridiculous they were being.  I felt awful for them!

    We finished out dessert as quickly as we could and got the heck out of there. 

    What would you do?  I feel like if we were earlier in our meal and they didn't come down I would say something to management, discreetly if possible.  Is that obnoxious?  This restaurant is a nice classy restaurant, they serve a high end menu and $85 is a lot to spend on a meal to have it ruined by douchecanoes.  I mention the price specifically to let you know the caliber of restaurant, not to brag about fancy dinner because I certainly feel that my thoughts would be different if I was at a chain restaurant like TGIFridays.  When I go there I expect that people might be rowdy, or kids might be running around or acting up, etc.
    What's the overall atmosphere of the restaurant? I've spent $100 a plate at restaurants that were just loud by nature, so these people would've fit right in. But if it was a restaurant where it was quiet and candlelit... I'd be livid. 
    This.  It's NYE, I'd expect it at most places.  Unless it was a small, candlelit atmosphere, I don't think I'd say anything.  
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    lyndausvi said:
    It's happens.   There isn't much you can do, especially on NYE when it's generally a party atmosphere.  

    In the rare times I have said something the response has never been good.  Actually the opposite happens.   They sometimes respond "I'm paying $850 just for dinner and we will be as loud as we want".
     
    The club I work at costs $225K for 2 people to join.   $16K in yearly dues.  That does not include food or beverage.   We often have parties that are dropping $1K in wine alone who are very loud.

    Point is it's the cost of the meal does not guarantee a quiet meal.  In general, the larger the group the louder they are, it doesn't matter where you are eating. 
    This.  We went to a bar on NYE and there were numerous drunken douchecanoes there.  The manager can't do much about that.  
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    It sure does happen, can happen anywhere. Being NYE, it is very likely that wherever you go, there will be people who may behave will less inhibition, whether they have tanked up before leaving home, or not.

    I would say, if it had been earlier in the meal you could have asked to change your table, and tell the manager why, but also being NYE, they may have been too booked, and couldn't do it. I would not approach the offenders, that just isn't something I would do. Based on being a chicken.

    But yes, I feel for you. I would be disappointed too.


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    I wouldn't have said anything. It was NYE and people can sometimes be rowdy no matter where you are. I would have just ignored them and finished my dessert.
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    On NYE, it's amateur night.   I wouldn't say much since it's a party atmosphere and I don't know that you'd get much to come of it.  


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     First it took the group about 10 minutes of standing around talking loudly to decide who was sitting where.

    This happens ALL THE TIME.  OMG, so a party made reservations for 10 on NYE, but showed up coming out of a party bus with bottles of Veuve with 16 people.   Yeah, we were booked, so finding 6 extra seats was fun.  Anyway, we made it work and it took them 15 minutes to figure out who was sitting where.   The other staff and I were laughing.  This one girl (I think late-teens) was soooo stressed about the seating situation.     It was down right comical to watch them figure out who went where. 

    When it comes to a big party who sits where is normally the longest most complicated thing to figure out the entire evening.    I swear they spend less time on figuring out what to eat than where to sit. 






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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    I wouldn't have said anything.  Now if the restaurant was a quiet, romantic, candlelit type place then I would just think that they picked the wrong place to eat.  But really, it was NYE, and even if it wasn't, if the restaurant is not geared towards quiet talks with a special someone while gazing in their eyes then I don't see the problem.  And sorry but the amount of money you are spending on your meal should have no effect on how loud or quiet it is okay to be.

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    To answer about the overall atmosphere. .  . . . low lighting, candles on the tables, soft background music.  Also, we had a 6pm reservation, so these people arrived at maybe 7:30.  We went to a restaurant after where my husband was DJing because they turn the place into basically a nightclub on NYE. . . . . noise expected at that type of place!!
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    Realistically, how much could the restaurant staff do about it? I mean, I can't think of any way that would go over well.
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    Eh, it's New Years and they were having fun. I wouldn't say a word. And as PP's have pointed out - I don't care how much the food costs - some places just have a livelier atmosphere.
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    I wouldn't have said anything.  Now if the restaurant was a quiet, romantic, candlelit type place then I would just think that they picked the wrong place to eat.  But really, it was NYE, and even if it wasn't, if the restaurant is not geared towards quiet talks with a special someone while gazing in their eyes then I don't see the problem.  And sorry but the amount of money you are spending on your meal should have no effect on how loud or quiet it is okay to be.
    I'm not sure I quite agree with that.  That's why I mentioned the TGIFridays in my OP.  I feel that restaurants present an atmosphere where you should generally know what is expected.  In my experience, more expensive restaurants tend to be places where you expect people to behave (which I feel is the wrong word to convey what I mean but I hope you get the picture)
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    In my experience on NYE  -  People who eat during the first seating  (6pm)  are quieter.  Then second seating people are there to party.  






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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    blabla89 said:
    Realistically, how much could the restaurant staff do about it? I mean, I can't think of any way that would go over well.
    Exactly.   As long as the loudness wasn't offensive I don't know that there's much that they can do.   And by offensive I mean being loudly racist, hurling curse words or being overly demanding / rude. 

    Just loud talking in itself is one of those times that you kind of need to suck it up. 
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    kaos16 said:
    I wouldn't have said anything.  Now if the restaurant was a quiet, romantic, candlelit type place then I would just think that they picked the wrong place to eat.  But really, it was NYE, and even if it wasn't, if the restaurant is not geared towards quiet talks with a special someone while gazing in their eyes then I don't see the problem.  And sorry but the amount of money you are spending on your meal should have no effect on how loud or quiet it is okay to be.
    I'm not sure I quite agree with that.  That's why I mentioned the TGIFridays in my OP.  I feel that restaurants present an atmosphere where you should generally know what is expected.  In my experience, more expensive restaurants tend to be places where you expect people to behave (which I feel is the wrong word to convey what I mean but I hope you get the picture)
    10 people being loud is not misbehaving.     

    Think about you and your SO having dinner alone at home.  It's fairly quiet right? 

    Now think about 10 people eating dinner at your home for a dinner party.  It's normally louder right?   It's completely normal.  You have 10 people who often are not together all the time catching up on life. 

    An no price doesn't automatically reflect a quieter atmosphere.  I've always worked in places that the average check per person was $75 or more. Some nights they sounded just like a night a TGIF. 






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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    Eh, it's NYE. It's annoying, but I wouldn't let it get to me. NYE is a loud, party night. And honestly, a group with 10 people will be loud for the most part, no matter what. 

    Funny story, on NYE my BFF and her BF rented a suite in the city. After dinner, we all went back to their suite for drinks, and to hang out. At one point in the night, this was before 11 (I remember, because we went to Dunkin Donuts at 11 for coffees), Her boyfriend and I started singing. I can't remember why or what we were singing, but we only sang like a verse. Not even a minute. A few minutes after that, the phone rang, some tourists put in a noise complaint. Okay, whatever. At midnight, we counted down with the tv, and yelled out Happy New Year! And toasted. We made noise for maybe a minute after the clock struck midnight. Another call came in, the same tourists complained. The front desk was very apologetic, but they had to make the call. I found the whole thing ridiculous, who comes to NYC on NYE, expecting a quiet night in a hotel room in Manhattan?
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    pinkcow13 said:
    Eh, it's NYE. It's annoying, but I wouldn't let it get to me. NYE is a loud, party night. And honestly, a group with 10 people will be loud for the most part, no matter what. 

    Funny story, on NYE my BFF and her BF rented a suite in the city. After dinner, we all went back to their suite for drinks, and to hang out. At one point in the night, this was before 11 (I remember, because we went to Dunkin Donuts at 11 for coffees), Her boyfriend and I started singing. I can't remember why or what we were singing, but we only sang like a verse. Not even a minute. A few minutes after that, the phone rang, some tourists put in a noise complaint. Okay, whatever. At midnight, we counted down with the tv, and yelled out Happy New Year! And toasted. We made noise for maybe a minute after the clock struck midnight. Another call came in, the same tourists complained. The front desk was very apologetic, but they had to make the call. I found the whole thing ridiculous, who comes to NYC on NYE, expecting a quiet night in a hotel room in Manhattan?
    people's expectations never cease to amaze me.   






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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    lyndausvi said:
    pinkcow13 said:
    Eh, it's NYE. It's annoying, but I wouldn't let it get to me. NYE is a loud, party night. And honestly, a group with 10 people will be loud for the most part, no matter what. 

    Funny story, on NYE my BFF and her BF rented a suite in the city. After dinner, we all went back to their suite for drinks, and to hang out. At one point in the night, this was before 11 (I remember, because we went to Dunkin Donuts at 11 for coffees), Her boyfriend and I started singing. I can't remember why or what we were singing, but we only sang like a verse. Not even a minute. A few minutes after that, the phone rang, some tourists put in a noise complaint. Okay, whatever. At midnight, we counted down with the tv, and yelled out Happy New Year! And toasted. We made noise for maybe a minute after the clock struck midnight. Another call came in, the same tourists complained. The front desk was very apologetic, but they had to make the call. I found the whole thing ridiculous, who comes to NYC on NYE, expecting a quiet night in a hotel room in Manhattan?
    people's expectations never cease to amaze me.   
    A friend of H's had a baby over a year ago.  Before that he was the life of the party.  On NYE this year he wrote a FB post asking those partying to be conscious of their neighbors that have children and to reconsider setting off a firework or two or banging pots and pans at midnight.  Like seriously dude, it is NYE, not like some random Tuesday.

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    I think if you're going to go out on NYE, you have to expect that you'll run into loud, partying people. If you don't want that, stay home. 

    H and I dine out a lot. It's something we choose to spend money on, and we like to go to nice places. We went to one of the most expensive restaurants in Venice, and had kids seated right next to us. Just because a place is upscale doesn't mean you're going to get a quiet meal. 
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    lyndausvi said:
    pinkcow13 said:
    Eh, it's NYE. It's annoying, but I wouldn't let it get to me. NYE is a loud, party night. And honestly, a group with 10 people will be loud for the most part, no matter what. 

    Funny story, on NYE my BFF and her BF rented a suite in the city. After dinner, we all went back to their suite for drinks, and to hang out. At one point in the night, this was before 11 (I remember, because we went to Dunkin Donuts at 11 for coffees), Her boyfriend and I started singing. I can't remember why or what we were singing, but we only sang like a verse. Not even a minute. A few minutes after that, the phone rang, some tourists put in a noise complaint. Okay, whatever. At midnight, we counted down with the tv, and yelled out Happy New Year! And toasted. We made noise for maybe a minute after the clock struck midnight. Another call came in, the same tourists complained. The front desk was very apologetic, but they had to make the call. I found the whole thing ridiculous, who comes to NYC on NYE, expecting a quiet night in a hotel room in Manhattan?
    people's expectations never cease to amaze me.   
    A friend of H's had a baby over a year ago.  Before that he was the life of the party.  On NYE this year he wrote a FB post asking those partying to be conscious of their neighbors that have children and to reconsider setting off a firework or two or banging pots and pans at midnight.  Like seriously dude, it is NYE, not like some random Tuesday.
    That is exactly what I said! 

    And it is really obnoxious that he posted that.
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    lyndausvi said:
    pinkcow13 said:
    Eh, it's NYE. It's annoying, but I wouldn't let it get to me. NYE is a loud, party night. And honestly, a group with 10 people will be loud for the most part, no matter what. 

    Funny story, on NYE my BFF and her BF rented a suite in the city. After dinner, we all went back to their suite for drinks, and to hang out. At one point in the night, this was before 11 (I remember, because we went to Dunkin Donuts at 11 for coffees), Her boyfriend and I started singing. I can't remember why or what we were singing, but we only sang like a verse. Not even a minute. A few minutes after that, the phone rang, some tourists put in a noise complaint. Okay, whatever. At midnight, we counted down with the tv, and yelled out Happy New Year! And toasted. We made noise for maybe a minute after the clock struck midnight. Another call came in, the same tourists complained. The front desk was very apologetic, but they had to make the call. I found the whole thing ridiculous, who comes to NYC on NYE, expecting a quiet night in a hotel room in Manhattan?
    people's expectations never cease to amaze me.   
    A friend of H's had a baby over a year ago.  Before that he was the life of the party.  On NYE this year he wrote a FB post asking those partying to be conscious of their neighbors that have children and to reconsider setting off a firework or two or banging pots and pans at midnight.  Like seriously dude, it is NYE, not like some random Tuesday.
    People don't realize how much they change.    My MIL is one of those people who is upset that the times are a changing even though she does things that her parents didn't do.    
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    It's NYE. It's amateur drunk night. It's going to be loud and obnoxious. Later you go, the more alcohol has been consumed, the volume goes up.

    Meh. With my girls, I run them around until they happily go to bed around 6. At 11:45, wake them up to celebrate. Put them back to bed at 12:10. Done. As long as they aren't startled awake, they go back to sleep easily. Startle them awake, they'll be up screaming for hours.
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