Using your BMs to pay for you?

novella1186

arrippa said:

Gustafson28 said:

A friend of mine is having a destination wedding so "they can put the cost back on the guests". Yup.. Also telling people what to wear and certain drinks for specific groups of people (local, tourist)

If my friend ever said that to me, I would re-evaluate my friendship.  

Ditto. I had a friend who pretty much did exactly this. She invited me (wedding is this month I think?) via a text that said I need to pay her travel agent something like $2,800. My wedding is in 4 months, finances are tight, and we've been saving for our own honeymoon. So no thanks. 

And I probably also won't be attending her PPD that she's planning for this summer. She's done a lot of rude and gross things with this wedding, and it makes me just not really want to be a part of it. 

maeday2

I wouldn't have even thought to do this. Thanks for the idea! 

velvethelicopters

I'll admit. We're doing DW in part to limit the number of guests. A much larger part however remains that's where we met and we both wanted to go somewhere warm for our wedding, so Dominican Republic won easily. We're paying for a healthy majority for our VIPs. We're not requiring any events besides wedding for guests. If they want to do their idea of tropical vacation fun, yup, we'll have things planned but if they want to do whatever, I don't care. Never started this thinking how to make guests pay for everything.

Apparently I'm doing this wrong according to Pintrest.

kmbay84

Wow, I feel bad enough with what we are not able to pay for the bridesmaids, I can't imagine doing that to them.  I am paying for their dresses, covering a portion of their hair/make-up if they want.  I gave them the option to get their hair/make-up done.  I am completely good with them doing their own hair and make-up as well.  I wish we could cover more, but it is just not in our budget.  Whatever jewelry they want to wear is completely up to them. I don't really care.

We are also covering the rehearsal dinner and I plan on having snacks in the morning at the salon for the ladies and then ordering lunch for all of us when we get back to the hotel.  I still feel terrible that I can't cover flight and hotel costs, although only two of the bridesmaids will have to fly in.  The wedding is five hours away so most will drive in.  I would never sneak them having to pay for anything of mine.  I feel bad that I can't pay for more of their stuff since they are doing us the honor of standing by our side on our wedding day.

One of my bridesmaids said that they are thinking of making a day trip of it and just coming on the day of the wedding instead of the night before for the rehearsal.  She was so sweet and I could tell that she felt bad about it.  I know they are tight, so I didn't question why, but just told her that it would be completely ok for her to come on the day of the wedding and that I understand.  She said in her message that she understands if that changes her being able to be a bridesmaid.  I told her that that does not change anything and I would still love for her to be a bridesmaid. I couldn't imagine kicking her out for that!  That would not be nice! Just show up ready maybe 15 minutes before the ceremony starts at the chapel so we can get ready do line up and we will be good to go.  

dcbride86

One of my BMs was in a wedding where this happened.  She was SHOCKED when I said we would be paying for BM hair and makeup.  She actually thought she would have to pay for me!  That's ridiculous!