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Destination Wedding? Suggestions?

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Re: Destination Wedding? Suggestions?

  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    CMGragain said:
    He is paying for your wedding himself?  That changes things a bit.  He who pays gets to say.  However, if his ignoring your wishes about your wedding is an indication of how you two will deal with future conflicts, I would think about your future before going ahead with these plans.
    That's silly...he pays for almost everything in our relationship, that doesn't mean he makes every decision in our relationship. He's probably going to pay for my dress, should I let him pick it out too? 

    And he's NOT ignoring my wishes about our wedding... we're just having trouble coming to an agreement about the guest list. Because again it's OUR wedding, not HIS, not MINE. And we both feel strongly about the size of the list... and again like I said before, he's considering having a smaller DW because that's what I want so he obviously IS considering my wishes. I don't "need to think about my future before I go ahead with these plans"


    Sheesh I come here for advice on ideas and places to go for destination weddings and instead I feel like I'm being judged and looked down upon for even THINKING of having a DW and left to defend my relationship :/ 

    Thanks for the Napa idea and the post about the DW board... I think those were the only two real helpful post I've recieved :( 

    Let me get this straight - he is not willing on a smaller guest list for a local wedding, but he's willing to "compromise" on a destination wedding?

    And technically - yes, if he is paying for the dress and wants to decide what it looks like, that would be his "right."  
    theartistformerlyknownasOliveOilsMom
  • CMGragain said:
    He is paying for your wedding himself?  That changes things a bit.  He who pays gets to say.  However, if his ignoring your wishes about your wedding is an indication of how you two will deal with future conflicts, I would think about your future before going ahead with these plans.
    That's silly...he pays for almost everything in our relationship, that doesn't mean he makes every decision in our relationship. He's probably going to pay for my dress, should I let him pick it out too? 

    And he's NOT ignoring my wishes about our wedding... we're just having trouble coming to an agreement about the guest list. Because again it's OUR wedding, not HIS, not MINE. And we both feel strongly about the size of the list... and again like I said before, he's considering having a smaller DW because that's what I want so he obviously IS considering my wishes. I don't "need to think about my future before I go ahead with these plans"


    Sheesh I come here for advice on ideas and places to go for destination weddings and instead I feel like I'm being judged and looked down upon for even THINKING of having a DW and left to defend my relationship :/ 

    Thanks for the Napa idea and the post about the DW board... I think those were the only two real helpful post I've recieved :( 
    You got advice, just not the advice you wanted.


    Read again... “I come here for advice on ideas and places to go for destination weddings”


    I didn't just ask for blanant random "advice" 

  • slothiegalslothiegal The Sloth Farm member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    CMGragain said:
    He is paying for your wedding himself?  That changes things a bit.  He who pays gets to say.  However, if his ignoring your wishes about your wedding is an indication of how you two will deal with future conflicts, I would think about your future before going ahead with these plans.
    That's silly...he pays for almost everything in our relationship, that doesn't mean he makes every decision in our relationship. He's probably going to pay for my dress, should I let him pick it out too? 

    And he's NOT ignoring my wishes about our wedding... we're just having trouble coming to an agreement about the guest list. Because again it's OUR wedding, not HIS, not MINE. And we both feel strongly about the size of the list... and again like I said before, he's considering having a smaller DW because that's what I want so he obviously IS considering my wishes. I don't "need to think about my future before I go ahead with these plans"


    Sheesh I come here for advice on ideas and places to go for destination weddings and instead I feel like I'm being judged and looked down upon for even THINKING of having a DW and left to defend my relationship :/ 

    Thanks for the Napa idea and the post about the DW board... I think those were the only two real helpful post I've recieved :( 
    You got advice, just not the advice you wanted.


    Read again... “I come here for advice on ideas and places to go for destination weddings”


    I didn't just ask for blanant random "advice" 

    When you started providing more information, it became open for discussion.
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  • CMGragain said:
    He is paying for your wedding himself?  That changes things a bit.  He who pays gets to say.  However, if his ignoring your wishes about your wedding is an indication of how you two will deal with future conflicts, I would think about your future before going ahead with these plans.
    That's silly...he pays for almost everything in our relationship, that doesn't mean he makes every decision in our relationship. He's probably going to pay for my dress, should I let him pick it out too? 

    And he's NOT ignoring my wishes about our wedding... we're just having trouble coming to an agreement about the guest list. Because again it's OUR wedding, not HIS, not MINE. And we both feel strongly about the size of the list... and again like I said before, he's considering having a smaller DW because that's what I want so he obviously IS considering my wishes. I don't "need to think about my future before I go ahead with these plans"


    Sheesh I come here for advice on ideas and places to go for destination weddings and instead I feel like I'm being judged and looked down upon for even THINKING of having a DW and left to defend my relationship :/ 

    Thanks for the Napa idea and the post about the DW board... I think those were the only two real helpful post I've recieved :( 
    You got advice, just not the advice you wanted.


    Read again... “I come here for advice on ideas and places to go for destination weddings”


    I didn't just ask for blanant random "advice" 

    The posters here call it like we see it. Through your original post we saw an issue with the way you and your FI come to a compromise, so we addressed it in our responses. You can't tell us to ignore things we've read in something that you, yourself, posted to us.
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    lurkergirl
  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Whether your goal is people declining, or people understanding why they didn't get an invitation, your method is the same - take those 30 people you can agree on inviting, and making them pay 10x more to attend your wedding, just because you can't agree to only invite those people to a local wedding. That's shitty, no matter who's paying for the party.

    QFT
  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    You and your FI need to get on the same page. I think it's kind of crappy to pick a DW in hopes that people won't come so you'll have a smaller wedding.
    THAT WASN'T MY FRIGGIN POINT FOR A DW!!


    I said it SEVERAL times and I'll say it ONE LAST TIME...


    If we had a DW we were ONLY going to invite our immediate family, the wedding party, and a few friends, the point was never to invite everyone and hope people don't come... man I feel like i've repeated that all night.... 

    Why are you having a destination wedding? Do you love the beach? Do you have strong desire to get married in a specific locale? THOSE are reasons to have a DW. It sounds to me like you're running away from something else.
  • You can have a DW anywhere that you'd like. We had one in Napa. There are members here that had them anywhere from Mexico to Australia.
    Ooooooo Napa's a great idea thanks! We've had 2 of our anniversary's there :) We live in Southern California... the main idea why I wanted a "destination wedding" was to make it more expensive for guests to get there that way when people found out where it was and that it was a "small, intimate, destination wedding" they'd be like "oh that's why I didn't get an invite" kind of thing.
    Okay, so it's not that you're inviting people in the hopes they won't show up, but your hope is that if you don't invite people to a destination wedding, they won't feel bad because it's a "small, intimate, destination wedding." That's what other posters are pointing out is kind of icky. The thing about weddings is, whether they're here or there, they can be any size. You can have a small intimate wedding at home, or you can have a large wedding at a destination. But your FI doesn't want a small intimate wedding at home. So as others have said, the solution isn't to go out of town and put the financial burden on your guests just to cull the guest list.
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  • CMGragain said:
    He is paying for your wedding himself?  That changes things a bit.  He who pays gets to say.  However, if his ignoring your wishes about your wedding is an indication of how you two will deal with future conflicts, I would think about your future before going ahead with these plans.
    That's silly...he pays for almost everything in our relationship, that doesn't mean he makes every decision in our relationship. He's probably going to pay for my dress, should I let him pick it out too? 

    And he's NOT ignoring my wishes about our wedding... we're just having trouble coming to an agreement about the guest list. Because again it's OUR wedding, not HIS, not MINE. And we both feel strongly about the size of the list... and again like I said before, he's considering having a smaller DW because that's what I want so he obviously IS considering my wishes. I don't "need to think about my future before I go ahead with these plans"


    Sheesh I come here for advice on ideas and places to go for destination weddings and instead I feel like I'm being judged and looked down upon for even THINKING of having a DW and left to defend my relationship :/ 

    Thanks for the Napa idea and the post about the DW board... I think those were the only two real helpful post I've recieved :( 
    You got advice, just not the advice you wanted.


    Read again... “I come here for advice on ideas and places to go for destination weddings”


    I didn't just ask for blanant random "advice" 

    The posters here call it like we see it. Through your original post we saw an issue with the way you and your FI come to a compromise, so we addressed it in our responses. You can't tell us to ignore things we've read in something that you, yourself, posted to us.
    Well last time I checked this was a wedding forum and not a therapy board... why is everyone trying to psychoanalyze my relationship, JUDGE me and call my decision for wanting a DW "shitty" and telling me to "think about my future before I go ahead with my plans" based off a SINGLE post I made.

    No offense but I feel very attacked here, not welcomed, AT ALL, I feel like everyone wants to judge me and analyze my relationship when it's actually none of your guys' business really... I'm not sure I'll be back to post now... in fact I still only got one real answer to my orginal post. 
  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 Dirty Jerz member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    Your Fi obviously has some ability to cut his side of the guest list, if you are able to get a DW guest list down to about 30.  If you want a small wedding, why not just host those 30 people?  Why does this require a DW?

    I'm not hearing you say, "I love the beach," or "Aruba is a really special place for us" or "We met in Napa and we really want to go back for our wedding."  I'm hearing you say you and your Fi can't compromise on a guest list but for some reason you think a DW is the best way to get the guest list down.  That doesn't sound like a great idea.
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

  • theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas peaced out. member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    edited January 2015



    Well last time I checked this was a wedding forum and not a therapy board... why is everyone trying to psychoanalyze my relationship, JUDGE me and call my decision for wanting a DW "shitty" and telling me to "think about my future before I go ahead with my plans" based off a SINGLE post I made.


    No offense but I feel very attacked here, not welcomed, AT ALL, I feel like everyone wants to judge me and analyze my relationship when it's actually none of your guys' business really... I'm not sure I'll be back to post now... in fact I still only got one real answer to my orginal post. 
    Methinks thou dost protest too much.

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    thespeshulestsnowflakeashley8918
  • larrygagalarrygaga Czechoslovakia member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    CMGragain said:
    He is paying for your wedding himself?  That changes things a bit.  He who pays gets to say.  However, if his ignoring your wishes about your wedding is an indication of how you two will deal with future conflicts, I would think about your future before going ahead with these plans.
    That's silly...he pays for almost everything in our relationship, that doesn't mean he makes every decision in our relationship. He's probably going to pay for my dress, should I let him pick it out too? 

    And he's NOT ignoring my wishes about our wedding... we're just having trouble coming to an agreement about the guest list. Because again it's OUR wedding, not HIS, not MINE. And we both feel strongly about the size of the list... and again like I said before, he's considering having a smaller DW because that's what I want so he obviously IS considering my wishes. I don't "need to think about my future before I go ahead with these plans"


    Sheesh I come here for advice on ideas and places to go for destination weddings and instead I feel like I'm being judged and looked down upon for even THINKING of having a DW and left to defend my relationship :/ 

    Thanks for the Napa idea and the post about the DW board... I think those were the only two real helpful post I've recieved :( 
    You got advice, just not the advice you wanted.


    Read again... “I come here for advice on ideas and places to go for destination weddings”


    I didn't just ask for blanant random "advice" 

    The posters here call it like we see it. Through your original post we saw an issue with the way you and your FI come to a compromise, so we addressed it in our responses. You can't tell us to ignore things we've read in something that you, yourself, posted to us.
    Well last time I checked this was a wedding forum and not a therapy board... why is everyone trying to psychoanalyze my relationship, JUDGE me and call my decision for wanting a DW "shitty" and telling me to "think about my future before I go ahead with my plans" based off a SINGLE post I made.

    No offense but I feel very attacked here, not welcomed, AT ALL, I feel like everyone wants to judge me and analyze my relationship when it's actually none of your guys' business really... I'm not sure I'll be back to post now... in fact I still only got one real answer to my orginal post. 
    Bye!
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    lurkergirlashley8918
  • esstee33esstee33 Pittsburgh member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    CMGragain said:
    He is paying for your wedding himself?  That changes things a bit.  He who pays gets to say.  However, if his ignoring your wishes about your wedding is an indication of how you two will deal with future conflicts, I would think about your future before going ahead with these plans.
    That's silly...he pays for almost everything in our relationship, that doesn't mean he makes every decision in our relationship. He's probably going to pay for my dress, should I let him pick it out too? 

    And he's NOT ignoring my wishes about our wedding... we're just having trouble coming to an agreement about the guest list. Because again it's OUR wedding, not HIS, not MINE. And we both feel strongly about the size of the list... and again like I said before, he's considering having a smaller DW because that's what I want so he obviously IS considering my wishes. I don't "need to think about my future before I go ahead with these plans"


    Sheesh I come here for advice on ideas and places to go for destination weddings and instead I feel like I'm being judged and looked down upon for even THINKING of having a DW and left to defend my relationship :/ 

    Thanks for the Napa idea and the post about the DW board... I think those were the only two real helpful post I've recieved :( 
    You got advice, just not the advice you wanted.


    Read again... “I come here for advice on ideas and places to go for destination weddings”


    I didn't just ask for blanant random "advice" 

    The posters here call it like we see it. Through your original post we saw an issue with the way you and your FI come to a compromise, so we addressed it in our responses. You can't tell us to ignore things we've read in something that you, yourself, posted to us.
    Well last time I checked this was a wedding forum and not a therapy board... why is everyone trying to psychoanalyze my relationship, JUDGE me and call my decision for wanting a DW "shitty" and telling me to "think about my future before I go ahead with my plans" based off a SINGLE post I made.

    No offense but I feel very attacked here, not welcomed, AT ALL, I feel like everyone wants to judge me and analyze my relationship when it's actually none of your guys' business really... I'm not sure I'll be back to post now... in fact I still only got one real answer to my orginal post. 

    image

    Lady, don't ask for advice if you don't actually want advice. 

    You and your FI need to actually come up with a fair compromise. Forcing the costs onto your guests just because he can't agree to a smaller wedding if it's local is totally unfair to your guests. If you can agree to have a medium-sized wedding, whatever that means, then have it locally so your guests don't have to pay tons of money to get there. 

    But also, if JUST your side of the guest list after cuts is still 65 people, that's not really a small wedding at all. 
    slothiegallovegood90novella1186
  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Your Fi obviously has some ability to cut his side of the guest list, if you are able to get a DW guest list down to about 30.  If you want a small wedding, why not just host those 30 people?  Why does this require a DW?<

    My thoughts exactly.
  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 Dirty Jerz member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    CMGragain said:
    He is paying for your wedding himself?  That changes things a bit.  He who pays gets to say.  However, if his ignoring your wishes about your wedding is an indication of how you two will deal with future conflicts, I would think about your future before going ahead with these plans.
    That's silly...he pays for almost everything in our relationship, that doesn't mean he makes every decision in our relationship. He's probably going to pay for my dress, should I let him pick it out too? 

    And he's NOT ignoring my wishes about our wedding... we're just having trouble coming to an agreement about the guest list. Because again it's OUR wedding, not HIS, not MINE. And we both feel strongly about the size of the list... and again like I said before, he's considering having a smaller DW because that's what I want so he obviously IS considering my wishes. I don't "need to think about my future before I go ahead with these plans"


    Sheesh I come here for advice on ideas and places to go for destination weddings and instead I feel like I'm being judged and looked down upon for even THINKING of having a DW and left to defend my relationship :/ 

    Thanks for the Napa idea and the post about the DW board... I think those were the only two real helpful post I've recieved :( 
    You got advice, just not the advice you wanted.


    Read again... “I come here for advice on ideas and places to go for destination weddings”


    I didn't just ask for blanant random "advice" 

    The posters here call it like we see it. Through your original post we saw an issue with the way you and your FI come to a compromise, so we addressed it in our responses. You can't tell us to ignore things we've read in something that you, yourself, posted to us.
    Well last time I checked this was a wedding forum and not a therapy board... why is everyone trying to psychoanalyze my relationship, JUDGE me and call my decision for wanting a DW "shitty" and telling me to "think about my future before I go ahead with my plans" based off a SINGLE post I made.

    No offense but I feel very attacked here, not welcomed, AT ALL, I feel like everyone wants to judge me and analyze my relationship when it's actually none of your guys' business really... I'm not sure I'll be back to post now... in fact I still only got one real answer to my orginal post. 
    Really.... you got very helpful responses.  Anything you post on a public forum like this is fair game for comments.  You could have said, "Any suggestions for DW?" and that would have been it. But once you volunteered so much information about your decision-making process and Fi's inability to compromise, it makes sense we would respond to it.  Why wouldn't we?

    The ladies here all really want to be helpful and want you to have the best wedding possible.  Seriously.  Sometimes that means we give advice you may not want to hear but it's usually what your friends and family might think about but are too nice or shy to tell you.
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

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  • larrygagalarrygaga Czechoslovakia member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    CMGragain said:
    He is paying for your wedding himself?  That changes things a bit.  He who pays gets to say.  However, if his ignoring your wishes about your wedding is an indication of how you two will deal with future conflicts, I would think about your future before going ahead with these plans.
    That's silly...he pays for almost everything in our relationship, that doesn't mean he makes every decision in our relationship. He's probably going to pay for my dress, should I let him pick it out too? 

    And he's NOT ignoring my wishes about our wedding... we're just having trouble coming to an agreement about the guest list. Because again it's OUR wedding, not HIS, not MINE. And we both feel strongly about the size of the list... and again like I said before, he's considering having a smaller DW because that's what I want so he obviously IS considering my wishes. I don't "need to think about my future before I go ahead with these plans"


    Sheesh I come here for advice on ideas and places to go for destination weddings and instead I feel like I'm being judged and looked down upon for even THINKING of having a DW and left to defend my relationship :/ 

    Thanks for the Napa idea and the post about the DW board... I think those were the only two real helpful post I've recieved :( 
    You got advice, just not the advice you wanted.


    Read again... “I come here for advice on ideas and places to go for destination weddings”


    I didn't just ask for blanant random "advice" 

    The posters here call it like we see it. Through your original post we saw an issue with the way you and your FI come to a compromise, so we addressed it in our responses. You can't tell us to ignore things we've read in something that you, yourself, posted to us.
    Well last time I checked this was a wedding forum and not a therapy board... why is everyone trying to psychoanalyze my relationship, JUDGE me and call my decision for wanting a DW "shitty" and telling me to "think about my future before I go ahead with my plans" based off a SINGLE post I made.

    No offense but I feel very attacked here, not welcomed, AT ALL, I feel like everyone wants to judge me and analyze my relationship when it's actually none of your guys' business really... I'm not sure I'll be back to post now... in fact I still only got one real answer to my orginal post. 
    Really.... you got very helpful responses.  Anything you post on a public forum like this is fair game for comments.  You could have said, "Any suggestions for DW?" and that would have been it. But once you volunteered so much information about your decision-making process and Fi's inability to compromise, it makes sense we would respond to it.  Why wouldn't we?

    The ladies here all really want to be helpful and want you to have the best wedding possible.  Seriously.  Sometimes that means we give advice you may not want to hear but it's usually what your friends and family might think about but are too nice or shy to tell you.
    No, that's not right at all! We want to attack people and make them cry!!!!!


    I'm probably the least helpful poster on this entire board, and even my advice was sound. 
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  • CMGragain said:
    He is paying for your wedding himself?  That changes things a bit.  He who pays gets to say.  However, if his ignoring your wishes about your wedding is an indication of how you two will deal with future conflicts, I would think about your future before going ahead with these plans.
    That's silly...he pays for almost everything in our relationship, that doesn't mean he makes every decision in our relationship. He's probably going to pay for my dress, should I let him pick it out too? 

    And he's NOT ignoring my wishes about our wedding... we're just having trouble coming to an agreement about the guest list. Because again it's OUR wedding, not HIS, not MINE. And we both feel strongly about the size of the list... and again like I said before, he's considering having a smaller DW because that's what I want so he obviously IS considering my wishes. I don't "need to think about my future before I go ahead with these plans"


    Sheesh I come here for advice on ideas and places to go for destination weddings and instead I feel like I'm being judged and looked down upon for even THINKING of having a DW and left to defend my relationship :/ 

    Thanks for the Napa idea and the post about the DW board... I think those were the only two real helpful post I've recieved :( 
    You got advice, just not the advice you wanted.


    Read again... “I come here for advice on ideas and places to go for destination weddings”


    I didn't just ask for blanant random "advice" 

    The posters here call it like we see it. Through your original post we saw an issue with the way you and your FI come to a compromise, so we addressed it in our responses. You can't tell us to ignore things we've read in something that you, yourself, posted to us.
    Well last time I checked this was a wedding forum and not a therapy board... why is everyone trying to psychoanalyze my relationship, JUDGE me and call my decision for wanting a DW "shitty" and telling me to "think about my future before I go ahead with my plans" based off a SINGLE post I made.

    No offense but I feel very attacked here, not welcomed, AT ALL, I feel like everyone wants to judge me and analyze my relationship when it's actually none of your guys' business really... I'm not sure I'll be back to post now... in fact I still only got one real answer to my orginal post. 
    Wow, you need to lurk some if you felt attacked here. Pro-tip for the inter webs, if you offer information on a site, you leave it open for people to comment on anything you post.


  • Ok well I'm getting frustrated and going to abandon my thread, just letting you all know out of courtesy so you know why I'm not replying. I like this site/forum and I want to use it in the future but I guess tonight is not my night, I give up... 

    I didn't come hear to be judged or for relationship advice to be honest... 

    I came here for suggestions on places to go for DWs and this thread has gone wayyyyyyyy off topic. 

    I don't care if you think it's stupid, or shitty, or whatever your stuck up opinion is on what I should do for MY wedding... I'm not even sure that's something I'm going to do! It's an idea I'm playing with and wanted some ideas... but clearly you all are incapable of doing anything other than trying to psychoanalyze my relationship and I really don't care to hear it. 

    Have a good night... go badger someone else with your annoying "advice" ladies. 

  • wrigleyvillewrigleyville Chicago member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Ok. Bye!
    esstee33ashley8918
  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Ok well I'm getting frustrated and going to abandon my thread, just letting you all know out of courtesy so you know why I'm not replying. I like this site/forum and I want to use it in the future but I guess tonight is not my night, I give up... 

    I didn't come hear to be judged or for relationship advice to be honest... 

    I came here for suggestions on places to go for DWs and this thread has gone wayyyyyyyy off topic. 

    I don't care if you think it's stupid, or shitty, or whatever your stuck up opinion is on what I should do for MY wedding... I'm not even sure that's something I'm going to do! It's an idea I'm playing with and wanted some ideas... but clearly you all are incapable of doing anything other than trying to psychoanalyze my relationship and I really don't care to hear it. 

    Have a good night... go badger someone else with your annoying "advice" ladies. 


    Good luck to you!
  • larrygagalarrygaga Czechoslovakia member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    Ok well I'm getting frustrated and going to abandon my thread, just letting you all know out of courtesy so you know why I'm not replying. I like this site/forum and I want to use it in the future but I guess tonight is not my night, I give up... 

    I didn't come hear to be judged or for relationship advice to be honest... 

    I came here for suggestions on places to go for DWs and this thread has gone wayyyyyyyy off topic. 

    I don't care if you think it's stupid, or shitty, or whatever your stuck up opinion is on what I should do for MY wedding... I'm not even sure that's something I'm going to do! It's an idea I'm playing with and wanted some ideas... but clearly you all are incapable of doing anything other than trying to psychoanalyze my relationship and I really don't care to hear it. 

    Have a good night... go badger someone else with your annoying "advice" ladies. 

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    y tho
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    ashley8918
  • JennyColadaJennyColada Awesometown, CA member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    edited January 2015
    I'm a pretty introverted person. I don't like a lot of attention on me. My ex was very much the opposite. He has a huge family and they love fawning attention over each other. It was very common for me to hide in the bathroom and quietly cry to deal with my anxiety when his family threw one of their 25 people+ parties (which to make matters worse were usually THEMED).

    We dated for nearly 3 years and I could see myself being with him forever. I wanted to marry him.

    Thank god we broke up.

    I would have hated every moment of our wedding. It likely would have been huge (50 people just from his side of the family!) and I can't imagine how I would have (not) dealt with all of that loud attention.

    OP, you deserve to enjoy your wedding just as much as your Fi does. If large amounts of attention make you feel anxious then how can he expect you to enjoy a wedding like that. Coming to an agreement that doesn't involve shifting burden onto your guests needs to happen.

    Maybe you can have an intimate wedding and host an informal BBQ for friends? Maybe you can settle on a middle number (tell him it's not about cost, but about your emotional wellbeing...our 5 guest reception cost likely the same as a 40 people reception, but it's what we both wanted and enjoyed)? Does he want these people to be at one of the most intimate event of his life, or does he feel like he has an obligation to include them? Going to someone's wedding is a privilege, not a right.
  • slothiegalslothiegal The Sloth Farm member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper

    Ok well I'm getting frustrated and going to abandon my thread, just letting you all know out of courtesy so you know why I'm not replying. I like this site/forum and I want to use it in the future but I guess tonight is not my night, I give up... 


    I didn't come hear to be judged or for relationship advice to be honest... 

    I came here for suggestions on places to go for DWs and this thread has gone wayyyyyyyy off topic. 

    I don't care if you think it's stupid, or shitty, or whatever your stuck up opinion is on what I should do for MY wedding... I'm not even sure that's something I'm going to do! It's an idea I'm playing with and wanted some ideas... but clearly you all are incapable of doing anything other than trying to psychoanalyze my relationship and I really don't care to hear it. 

    Have a good night... go badger someone else with your annoying "advice" ladies. 

    Welp you sure showed us! Bye!
    Anniversary

    image
    larrygagaesstee33
  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers



    You can have a DW anywhere that you'd like. We had one in Napa. There are members here that had them anywhere from Mexico to Australia.

    Ooooooo Napa's a great idea thanks! We've had 2 of our anniversary's there :) We live in Southern California... the main idea why I wanted a "destination wedding" was to make it more expensive for guests to get there that way when people found out where it was and that it was a "small, intimate, destination wedding" they'd be like "oh that's why I didn't get an invite" kind of thing.


    I just re read this. You WANT to make it more expensive on your guests? Klassy.
    novella1186
  • slothiegalslothiegal The Sloth Farm member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper



    You can have a DW anywhere that you'd like. We had one in Napa. There are members here that had them anywhere from Mexico to Australia.

    Ooooooo Napa's a great idea thanks! We've had 2 of our anniversary's there :) We live in Southern California... the main idea why I wanted a "destination wedding" was to make it more expensive for guests to get there that way when people found out where it was and that it was a "small, intimate, destination wedding" they'd be like "oh that's why I didn't get an invite" kind of thing.
    I just re read this. You WANT to make it more expensive on your guests? Klassy.

    Well it is HER DAY after all.
    Anniversary

    image
    holyguacamole79novella1186
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