Wording for Wedding Invitation

larabelleb

I need help wording my wedding invitation.  My fiance, my mom and I are equally paying for the wedding.  My fiances parents are not helping financially.  My father passed away a few years ago, but I would like to mention him in the invite if possible.  Any ideas on wording?

CMGragain

Mrs. John Bridesfather
requests the pleasure of your company  (honour of your presence if church wedding)
at the marriage of her daughter
Bride's First Middle
to
Mr. Groom's Full Name
Day, Date
time o'clock
Venue Name  (Church name)
Address
City, State

If your reception is in the same location as your ceremony, you can simply put "Reception to follow" after this wording.  If it is in a different location, you should use a separate reception card.
I'm sorry, but it isn't at all proper to put your late father's name directly on your wedding invitation.  Your mother, as his widow, carries his name.  The bride and Groom never directly invite people to their own wedding, so you should name your mother as hostess.

Jen4948

Unfortunately, there is no polite way to list a deceased person on a wedding invitation for two reasons.

The first is that the only persons who should be listed are the hosts, the honorees (the couple), and the guests. It is acceptable for the invitations to be worded so as to request the attendance of specified guests, but since that requires each invitation to be customized, it's seldom done. Deceased persons can't host. Nor are they the honorees or, obviously, the guests.

The second is that invitations are not playbills or family trees. They do not indicate who paid for what or how much, which is none of the guests' business, or "honor" anyone other than the guests.

larabelleb

Thanks for the replies!  I feel even more confused now, haha.  I have seen wedding invitations where a deceased parent is mentioned. Something like:

Bride's name
daughter of Bride's Mom and the late Bride's Father
and Groom's name
son of Groom's parents.....etc.

I was wondering how I would do something like this without listing his parents and I couldn't think of a way to do it.

Also, I have always heard that whomever is listed on the invite is who is paying.  And I have heard of parents not attending the wedding of their son or daughter because they were not on the invite but were paying for the wedding. 

If the invitation mentions only who is hosting and not who is paying, then is it okay to list only my groom and myself?  My mom will not be hosting.  One of you mentioned that the couple does not host so...?

CMGragain

No.  The wording is different if the two of you are hosting your own wedding.

The pleasure of your company is requested  (honour of your presence)
at the marriage of
Bride's Full Name
and
Groom's Full Name
Saturday, the number of June
two thousand fifteen
at six o'clock
Venue
Address
City, State

When in doubt, I use Crane's Blue Book as a wording guide.  They have been doing wedding invitations for 200 years. 

"My father passed away last year, and I’d like to include his name on my wedding invitations. How is that done?
Wishing to include a deceased parent’s name on a wedding invitation is a lovely sentiment, however it’s not proper to do so (except in Latin America).

The essential purpose of a wedding invitation is to invite your guests to your wedding and to tell them where and when it’s taking place. It lists the host or hosts of the event, what the event is (your wedding), and the date, time and place.

The only logical place to list your father’s name is on an invitational line. This is improper, however, as he’d be listed as one of the hosts of your wedding. Since he is deceased, he cannot be a host.

Your father’s name is, of course, mentioned in your newspaper announcement and may also be mentioned in the wedding program and during a prayer said during the service."

It is nobody's business who is paying for your wedding.  The first line indicates who is hosting.  If you and your FI are hosting, the wording should be indirect, as I have shown in this post.  This simply does not name the host.  People will assume that you are hosting your own wedding, which is fine.

Jen4948

Hosting doesn't equal paying. If you and your FI are the hosts, meaning the point persons (the persons who issue invitations, receive responses, greet guests, and arrange for their needs to be attended to), then only your and your fiance's names are listed. You'd use

The honor of your presence (for ceremonies at houses of worship/
The pleasure of your company (for all other ceremonies) is requested
at the marriage of
Bride's Full Name
and
Groom's Full Name
on Day, Date
at time
Venue Name
Venue Address
City, State

If the reception is at the same venue as the ceremony, "Reception to follow" appears at the bottom. If it's at a different location, enclose an insert worded

Reception
Immediately following the ceremony
Venue Name
Venue Address
City, State