Alcohol Question

blushingbride8888

Hi All!
  I know this is a touchy subject on here and one that's been discussed again and again but I have never seen my exact question asked before. My Fi and I are planning to offer open beer and wine at our wedding. We can't really afford to do full open bar, but plan to do open beer and wine which is paid on a per person basis. I know it's inappropriate to ask guests to open their wallets at the wedding - I completely agree - but if they want mixed drinks is there any way to get the venue not to offer them for purchase? I'm sure every venue wants to make a buck and doesn't care what's deemed good etiquette or not...

My mother wants mixed drinks available for purchase if we're only offering beer and wine and to me that just sounds rude... Any advice/feedback would be much appreciated!

thisismynickname2

You are right that having mixed drinks available for purchase would be rude.

Yes, you should ask your venue to not sell the mixed drinks. 

What others have found helpful, because some venues will not remove the excess alcohol from view, is to try putting up a small sign that says something like, "Please enjoy beer and wine courtesy of [happy couple]."

Pretty much everyone will agree that beer and wine at a wedding is plenty and they won't miss the hard liquor.  

Maggie0829

It really depends on your venue.  Some venues will only display what is being served and nothing else, while other venues will have a full bar displayed and will gladly make a mixed drink if someone will be willing to pay for it.  So talk to your venue about this and see what they have to say.

If your venue will be unwilling to only display what is being served or is unwilling to say no to someone when they order a mix drink, then there really isn't much you can do.  So your best bet is to have some signs available on the bar listing what is being hosted.  Most guests will see the signs and only order what is listed but others may decide to purchase.  Nothing you can do about that with the whole free will thing.  But at least you would have made a concerted effort to let people know what you are hosting and that you are in know way promoting a cash bar.

mikenberger

blushingbride889 said:

Hi All!
  I know this is a touchy subject on here and one that's been discussed again and again but I have never seen my exact question asked before. My Fi and I are planning to offer open beer and wine at our wedding. We can't really afford to do full open bar, but plan to do open beer and wine which is paid on a per person basis. I know it's inappropriate to ask guests to open their wallets at the wedding - I completely agree - but if they want mixed drinks is there any way to get the venue not to offer them for purchase? I'm sure every venue wants to make a buck and doesn't care what's deemed good etiquette or not...

My mother wants mixed drinks available for purchase if we're only offering beer and wine and to me that just sounds rude... Any advice/feedback would be much appreciated!

You cannot (well, knowingly) offer something that your guests must pay for. You are perfectly fine offering just wine, beer and nonalcoholic options. Typically when you talk to the venue, you'll discuss what you want to offer and that's what will be offered. If your venue chooses to leave the liquor out for purchase, make sure to put a note out for your guests telling them what is hosted by the couple so there are no surprises in ordering. If your venue refuses to not remove stuff that is not hosted, there's not much you can do beyond the note to your guests.

blushingbride8888

Thank you! Is there any way you'd recommend me explaining that to those in my family who still believe mixed drinks should be available for purchase? It's already started a huge argument because apparently "the older generations" in my family want Bloody Marys. *Sigh*

novella1186

I agree with PPs, especially about having a sign (if the venue still insists on having liquor available for purchase) so your guests aren't caught off-guard when they just saw their friend get a free beer but now they're being asked to pay for their gin and tonic. 

Maggie0829

blushingbride889 said:

Thank you! Is there any way you'd recommend me explaining that to those in my family who still believe mixed drinks should be available for purchase? It's already started a huge argument because apparently "the older generations" in my family want Bloody Marys. *Sigh*

Bean dip, bean dip, bean dip.

novella1186

blushingbride889 said:

Thank you! Is there any way you'd recommend me explaining that to those in my family who still believe mixed drinks should be available for purchase? It's already started a huge argument because apparently "the older generations" in my family want Bloody Marys. *Sigh*

You don't need to explain anything. Simply state that it's what you and your FI have decided on and the topic is closed. Then, as Maggie said, bean dip! Don't discuss it any further with them. 

huskypuppy14

blushingbride889 said:

Thank you! Is there any way you'd recommend me explaining that to those in my family who still believe mixed drinks should be available for purchase? It's already started a huge argument because apparently "the older generations" in my family want Bloody Marys. *Sigh*

Could you do a signature drink or two to appease those that want mixed drinks? Bloody Marys would be a weird signature drink, unless you are having your wedding in the morning/early afternoon, IMHO.

NYCMercedes

Offer your parents $20 for a steak dinner next time you go visit them. It's the same thing.