My fiance's parents divorced in their late fifties. His father remarried soon after (possibly something was happening with the other woman before divorce), his mother is single. They do not talk.
We are in our mid-thirties, first marriage for both of us. We are in the very early stages of planning our wedding, it will be small. As we've been looking at venues we've found some that are real gems. BUT, my fiance has nixed them because he is afraid if not enough people come (because of it being either too expensive to get to, such as Hawaii, or too casual like a restaurant reception for long distance people to attend), that his mother will feel awkward without a buffer.
First, let me say that I love my fiance more than I thought I could love some one and we are great together. Secondly, I am sensitive to this. However, I strongly feel that this is the one time in our lives that we are allowed to be a little selfish. We dont own a home yet and I do not want to spend gobs of money on a large wedding in case his mother might feel uncomfortable, when we still need to save for a home. I know that sounds harsh, but I'd like to have a wedding that feels like us and is inline with our other goals.
For the record, my parents are still together and still, possibly more than ever, in love, so I can only relate to his experience through a removed lens.
Am I being overly selfish?