Just Engaged and Proposals

Slight guest list drama...

Not sure if this is even the right board for this lol

FDH and I were talking about who we wanted to invite friend wise, who not and why. He wants to invite his ex and her BF. They do have a kid together but in my mind this is totally inappropriate and it never even crossed my mind to invite my ex that I have kids with. He said  "I want to show her that it's completely over  and she's never getting me back".  So me, being spineless, choose my battles and chose to sit on this one until I got feedback. I immediately told him, I'm not inviting my ex and it would make me uncomfortable, on my wedding day, to have her there. He said he wouldn't want me to feel that way so he wouldn't invite her.

I could tell he was not happy with my response. He might not be happy, but I'm down right pissed and he doesn't even know it yet.

What I want to say now and I should have said then was "why the f#ck do you feel the need to show that fat alcoholic who doesn't mother her own child, your child, that you're over her? Because I don't give my ex a f#cking thought...ever."

I've got a bad taste in my mouth right now.  Am I over reacting?

How many of you invited your ex or your SO invited their ex?

Re: Slight guest list drama...

  • I put my planning on complete hold for now. FI is at work. I couldn't wait and sent him one hell of an angry text. I'm pretty damn sad right now.
  • porkchops926porkchops926 Cape Cod member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    I don't think you're overreacting. It's one thing to invite an ex if they're still on good terms and you don't have a problem with it, basically one happy family. But he's basically telling you that he wants to use your wedding as a means of "sticking it to his ex"

    It's you guys' wedding, that shouldn't even be on his radar. Fucked up. 
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • I would have blown up if my husband had requested this...especially because of his reasoning.  I think you need to find a way to calmly get your point across about your feelings being hurt since it's clearly still eating away at you and that nagging feeling won't go away anytime soon.  You're still early in the process so it might pop up again.


    AddieCake
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    I do not think you are overreacting, no. Your fiance is being childish in his reasoning for wanting to invite his ex, however. A wedding is not a place to send a message, prove a point, or anything of the sort. Calmly explain to him why this is inappropriate. 

    We didn't invite any exes to our wedding. However, some people do, and it's perfectly fine depending on the relationships and the dynamics of those relationships and friendships. Not all exes are off-limits. This is a case by case situation for everyone. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    So, he wants to invite his ex to essentially rub it in her face? Wow. That's really immature and tacky.

    My husband and I both had exes at the wedding. We all remained friends and we invited them because we wanted them there. My ex came with his girlfriend and my H's ex came with her husband.

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