Booz

agenevieve22016

Is having an open bar for 3 hours and the last hour cash tacky? I've been to a wedding with a full cash bar not even a cocktail hour and I was in the wedding and thought it sucked but having something open would of been nice.

levioosa

Yes.  Your guests should never have to open their wallets.  If you cannot afford a full open bar, then beer and wine is perfectly fine.  If you can afford to throw in a signature cocktail or two with it, great.  If you can't afford any alcohol, a dry wedding is also perfectly within etiquette. 

Maggie0829

Yes.  For example, for 3 hours you have been going to bar to get yourself a nice glass of white wine. You order and you say thank you and walk away.  At the 3 hour and 1 minute mark you go to get another glass and this time you are told "that will be $6."  Pretty sure you will be a bit confused and probably a bit embarrassed seeing as you have zero cash on you.

Do you really want to put your guests in that position?

lilacck28

Yes. Don't do a cash bar at all. Your guests would be doubly surprised that the drink they ordered ten minutes ago is now costing them money. If you can't afford an open bar for the full reception, then don't do an open bar. Do a fully hosted limited bar (beer and wine, signature drink, champagne etc. Whatever combo. you want) or a fully hosted dry wedding. All of those are lovely, non tacky options. 

And, for the record, I think 3 hours open bar and last hour no more alcohol is better than three hours open bar last hour cash bar. (but this is also not the best solution.)

lovegood90

Your guests should never open their wallets at an event you are hosting. If you can't afford 4 hours open bar, do hosted beer and wine for 4 hours or even close the last hour completely. Or cut down on flowers, centerpieces, other décor stuff to make more room in your budget. Food and drink should be the #1 priority IMO.

climbingsingle

Yes, that's tacky. 

crackktheskyy

agenevieve22016 said:

Is having an open bar for 3 hours and the last hour cash tacky? I've been to a wedding with a full cash bar not even a cocktail hour and I was in the wedding and thought it sucked but having something open would of been nice.

As PPs have mentioned, yes this is a bad idea.

If you can afford the open bar for 3 hours, could you limit the options and serve those limited options for the entirety of the reception?

agenevieve22016

lilacck28 said:

Yes. Don't do a cash bar at all. Your guests would be doubly surprised that the drink they ordered ten minutes ago is now costing them money. If you can't afford an open bar for the full reception, then don't do an open bar. Do a fully hosted limited bar (beer and wine, signature drink, champagne etc. Whatever combo. you want) or a fully hosted dry bar.

And, for the record, I think 3 hours open bar and last hour no more alcohol is better than three hours open bar last hour cash bar. (but this is also not a good solution.)

I had said that to my coordinator that I'll just cut the bar off after the 3hours what's an hour without a drink. She insisted that people would just leave and go to the bar that is outside to get drinks rather than stay so she said do the last cash. Which I still have to pay 100 for a bartender but it'd be another 500+ depending on guest count to keep it open. Maybe I like the idea of just closing it. The wedding is being paid for by just us and I'm trying to do the best we can. I would never have a dry wedding that's not for us or the families we like to have fun.

agenevieve22016

crackktheskyy said:

agenevieve22016 said:

Is having an open bar for 3 hours and the last hour cash tacky? I've been to a wedding with a full cash bar not even a cocktail hour and I was in the wedding and thought it sucked but having something open would of been nice.

As PPs have mentioned, yes this is a bad idea.

If you can afford the open bar for 3 hours, could you limit the options and serve those limited options for the entirety of the reception?

I asked the coordinator about doing wine and beer for cocktail then open for last three but the venue charges the way they charge no matter what is being served the price for anything open is per head

badbnagdway

agenevieve22016 said:

lilacck28 said:

Yes. Don't do a cash bar at all. Your guests would be doubly surprised that the drink they ordered ten minutes ago is now costing them money. If you can't afford an open bar for the full reception, then don't do an open bar. Do a fully hosted limited bar (beer and wine, signature drink, champagne etc. Whatever combo. you want) or a fully hosted dry bar.

And, for the record, I think 3 hours open bar and last hour no more alcohol is better than three hours open bar last hour cash bar. (but this is also not a good solution.)

I had said that to my coordinator that I'll just cut the bar off after the 3hours what's an hour without a drink. She insisted that people would just leave and go to the bar that is outside to get drinks rather than stay so she said do the last cash. Which I still have to pay 100 for a bartender but it'd be another 500+ depending on guest count to keep it open. Maybe I like the idea of just closing it. The wedding is being paid for by just us and I'm trying to do the best we can. I would never have a dry wedding that's not for us or the families we like to have fun.

Some people are going to take issue with the assumption that you have to have alcohol to have fun. 

Cutting the bar off is definitely better than turning it into an open bar. 

I agree with other pps suggesting limiting the bar to beer and wine or to beer, wine and more affordable liquors and keeping it open the whole time. 

agenevieve22016

Unfortunately it's still the same price I already inquired about it...and I know you don't need alcohol to have fun but we enjoy drinking and our guests do as well.

Maggie0829

Typically when the bar closes down people will just leave completely.  Tends to be a sign that the event is coming to an end.

levioosa

agenevieve22016 said:

Unfortunately it's still the same price I already inquired about it...and I know you don't need alcohol to have fun but we enjoy drinking and our guests do as well.

Can you cut down your guest list?  Use cheaper flowers?  Use different or cheaper decorations?  (If you're set on having alcohol).

aurianna

Not everyone here likes this idea but is it possible to do this:
Cocktail Hour: Open
Dinner Hour: Closed (not cash. just no alcohol available at all)
Last two hours: Open

You might still have to pay for the bartender during that hour but would probably be cheaper than 4 hours open.
Bar closed during dinner isn't everyone's favorite but way better than cash bar for last hour I think.

agenevieve22016

My guest list is already cut down as much as possible I'm already not inviting aunts and uncles and cousins..I have a big family and quite a few friends so that is already very hard, I'm going cheap on flowers making all my bouquets and decor myself, my biggest bill is obviously the food and drinks. I guess it'll just come down how many actually rsvp and I'll have to go from there what we will do with the bar situation. Thanx everyone for the advice I'm sure it'll all work out

agenevieve22016

aurianna said:

Not everyone here likes this idea but is it possible to do this:
Cocktail Hour: Open
Dinner Hour: Closed (not cash. just no alcohol available at all)
Last two hours: Open

You might still have to pay for the bartender during that hour but would probably be cheaper than 4 hours open.
Bar closed during dinner isn't everyone's favorite but way better than cash bar for last hour I think.

This would be fabulous but the venue requires a consecutive open bar I already inquired about splitting it up

mrsdee15

Yeah, like PPs said, your guests should never have to open their wallet.  If they have to be open consecutively could you switch to wine only for dinner and then continue with the open bar after?  Otherwise, you could perhaps do wine, beer, and a signature drink (or just wine and beer) for the entire reception, or close it after the 3 hours.  However, I may be wrong, but I think that a lot of guests consider the closing of the bar to be the end of the reception, so guests may start leaving after that (please someone correct me if I'm incorrect).  

southernbelle0915

Yup - it's bad etiquette. 

I have never heard of a venue charging the same for beer and wine as they do for a full, open bar. Are you sure that's correct? If so, I'd try to reason with them... Basically, "Look, we want the bar open for the whole time, but we can't afford the full, open bar with hard liquor. Other venues we looked at had packages we can afford with just beer and wine. Can you be flexible? If not, we may choose to not have a bar at all. If you can be flexible, you can make money from the bar, and we can afford to serve alcohol."

JellyBean52513

Can we not get into the debate about alcohol & fun? For some people, a party is just a better time with alcoholic drinks. It doesn't make them bad people, or any less than the people who don't drink. For those who insist "I don't need alcohol to have fun!," it doesn't make you a better person than someone who likes to drink. It's such an unnecessary thing to go back and forth over.

I like @southernbelle0915's idea to negotiate with your venue on beer & wine. Their flexibility will mean that you can afford to serve alcohol to your guests, and they can profit from your drink package, so try to explain that it's a win-win situation.

PrettyGirlLost

Did you already sign a contract and pay this venue a deposit?  Why would you do that before knowing exactly the terms under which they operate and whether or not you could afford the venue in the 1st place?

If you have already signed a contract and paid the deposit, and your venue won't negotiate a better price for a limited bar option (beer and wine only, maybe a signature drink), then you keep the bar open for 3 hours and just plan to have your reception end shortly after.  As other PP's have said, the bar closing is typically a sign to guests that the reception is wrapping up, and so people will likely begin to say their good byes and leave.

lovegood90

I would check your contract about the "consecutive open bar" thing. If it's not in there, they can't enforce it.

short+sassy

Would the venue allow you to do the last hour as consumption cost instead of a "per head" cost?  For example, let's say it's $10/person for each hour the bar is open and you have 100 people, so each hour the bar is open is $1,000.

Could you say pay the flat $3,000 for the first 3 hours and then the bar switches from a per person to a consumption cost in the last hour?  As in, now you are paying for each drink consumed?  That could be a nice option because by the time it gets to the last hour, some people may have already left and the remaining will probably have slowed down the drinking by then anyway.

If that is not an option for your venue, I concur with the others that it is better to just have the bar shut down for the last hour than for a "surprise" now the drinks cost money. 

ShesSoCold

short+sassy said:

Would the venue allow you to do the last hour as consumption cost instead of a "per head" cost?  For example, let's say it's $10/person for each hour the bar is open and you have 100 people, so each hour the bar is open is $1,000.

Could you say pay the flat $3,000 for the first 3 hours and then the bar switches from a per person to a consumption cost in the last hour?  As in, now you are paying for each drink consumed?  That could be a nice option because by the time it gets to the last hour, some people may have already left and the remaining will probably have slowed down the drinking by then anyway.

If that is not an option for your venue, I concur with the others that it is better to just have the bar shut down for the last hour than for a "surprise" now the drinks cost money. 

This is exactly what I was thinking. H and I also did this for our wedding. Open bar package ended at 11:30 and we paid for any drinks after that. The wedding naturally wrapped up at like 11:45 and only a few drinks had been served so the restaurant didn't charge us. We tipped well.