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Ex-BIL's wife as bridesmaid?

rockin30ishrockin30ish member
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in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I'm still close with some members of my ex's family, particularly his sister and SIL. His sister is still my hair stylist and his SIL my tatttoo artist, as well as my friends. I know it's a no-no to have his sister stand up, but she is invited and is doing my hair. But, I've considered having his SIL stand up in the wedding if need be (this is contingent on whether or not one of FI's out of state friends can make it). FI is fine with all of the above.
Thoughts?
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Re: Ex-BIL's wife as bridesmaid?

  • novella1186novella1186 member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    rockin30ish said:
    I'm still close with some members of my ex's family, particularly his sister and SIL. His sister is still my hair stylist and his SIL my tatttoo artist, as well as my friends. I know it's a no-no to have his sister stand up, but she is invited and is doing my hair. But, I've considered having his SIL stand up in the wedding if need be (this is contingent on whether or not one of FI's out of state friends can make it). FI is fine with all of the above.
    Thoughts?
    You should ask your nearest and dearest. It sounds like you'd be asking her in order to make sure you have even sides (based on your comment that it depends on whether your FI's friend can make it). It's not necessary to have even sides, so don't let that be a factor in your decision. There is no "if need be" because you're not required to have any bridesmaids at all if you don't want them, or you can have as many as you want. If you have 50 "nearest and dearests" then so be it! 
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  • auriannaaurianna member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Ditto PP. Sides don't have to be even. And it would be incredibly hurtful to a woman to find out she was only asked (or not asked) because of even sides.
    If this woman is close to you and you want her to stand up next to you when you marry, go ahead and ask her!
    Just note that you can't invite these women without also inviting their significant others. So if you invite his SIL you're going to have to invite your ex's brother too. Not sure if that's a deal breaker for you or not.
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  • crackktheskyycrackktheskyy member
    500 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    rockin30ish said:
    I'm still close with some members of my ex's family, particularly his sister and SIL. His sister is still my hair stylist and his SIL my tatttoo artist, as well as my friends. I know it's a no-no to have his sister stand up, but she is invited and is doing my hair. But, I've considered having his SIL stand up in the wedding if need be (this is contingent on whether or not one of FI's out of state friends can make it). FI is fine with all of the above.
    Thoughts?
    What do you mean "if need be"? Your wedding party should be be the people that are closest to you. Why is this contingent or anything at all?
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  • rockin30ishrockin30ish member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    Thank you for the input. I'll discuss it with FI. My only issue with having uneven sides is that I was the "uneven" one in a wedding once and it was awkward. If his friend can make it, maybe we'll have the men all standing at the altar already and my #2 can walk back on the arms of 2 guys.
     
    There would be no issue with BIL attending. FI has actually met all of them. The only people in that family he doesn't like is my ex and his mom (same goes for me lol).
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  • lovegood90lovegood90 member
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    rockin30ish said:
    Thank you for the input. I'll discuss it with FI. My only issue with having uneven sides is that I was the "uneven" one in a wedding once and it was awkward. If his friend can make it, maybe we'll have the men all standing at the altar already and my #2 can walk back on the arms of 2 guys.
     
    There would be no issue with BIL attending. FI has actually met all of them. The only people in that family he doesn't like is my ex and his mom (same goes for me lol).
    You could just have the wedding party walk in single file too.

    Formerly martha1818

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  • auriannaaurianna member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    What you proposed: Men already at the alter, women come down single file, groomsmen escorting two bridesmaids back up, is exactly how I'd handle uneven numbers.
    And if you do introductions at the reception, either announce one by one, or if you have an usher have him escort BM.
    And in the programs list the bridesmaids and list the groomsmen separately. Don't pair them.
    And you're set!
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  • rockin30ishrockin30ish member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    Thank you so much! I love having options! :)
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  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    I was a BM in a wedding where I was escorted by 2 GM.  That was how we recessed from the ceremony (guys were standing at the altar already) and were announced at the reception.  It was fine!

    For my wedding, I have 5 BMs and H had 3 GM.  The last two BMs walked out and were announced at the reception together.

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