Children guests

xx802xx

My fiancé and I want to have a mostly no children wedding. Our family and friends just have WAY to many children to be able to accommodate them as well. Our invites will be addressed to the specific people invited (not to "the Jones") to prevent confusion about children being invited.  However, we also have guests with children who will be traveling from across the country to our wedding and staying for a week or more as a family vacation AND a couple as part of both our parties (her in mine and him in his) with a child. Is there no way people won't be offended there may be a few children but not theirs...or will guests understand that the goal was no children and there may have been a couple guests who just could not leave their child?

Thanks for the advice

nhultberg461

I think you might want to read my post about age limits on invitations. It might give you some insight.

indianaalum

I think you can get away with those traveling bringing children and those in wedding party

huskypuppy14

You can invite children just like any other guest. Just because you invited Aunt Mary's kids who live across the country, doesn't mean you have to invite everyone's children. Inviting in circles is best, out of town guests is considered a circle. Just don't split up minor siblings.

Hope this helps.

xx802xx

Thanks nhultberg, I read a bunch from your thread. We're asking 18+ only and addressing invites to 18+ so hopefully it's understood they are an adult. I do have one family that the family bill be "broken" up because 2 of their children are over 18 living at home and 2 are not. But the parents don't want to bring their younger children. So fire averted there....but of course when all guests arrive to see 3 or 4 kids...I'll be in the same boat. Will the parents of the uninvited children be pissed.

Thanks indianaalum. I'm hoping for understaning on the big day.

aurianna

IMO, children are like any other guests.
Just like I might choose to invite my friend Sally but not my friend Judy, and be totally ok etiquette wise, I can also invite Becky's kids but not Sally's. They are people like any other and assuming I'm not breaking up families, no one gets to dictate my guest list.

So from etiquette standpoint I don't find a problem with just wedding party kids and a few other kids. No one is entitled to have their kids invited to someone else's wedding.

....but of course inviting in circles is the best way to keep other guests from getting their noses out of joint. Wedding party kids and OOT kids is still a circle. So if anyone is rude enough to ask you why some kids where there, you could answer with that if you wanted. Unfortunately it's a less obvious circle.
You probably will have people who will be annoyed that their kids aren't invited but others are. But that's on them and not you. If you can live with knowing that, go for what you're doing.
If you can't, either invite all the kids, or none of the kids except WP. But IMO you really shouldn't have to resort to that.

nhultberg461

I had the trouble of trying to understand what others meant by breaking up family circles.

 

wrigleyville

nhultberg461 said:

I had the trouble of trying to understand what others meant by breaking up family circles.

 

It can read like algebra sometimes. We should make diagrams.