2nd Wedding and You Live Together - Registery Ok?

nhultberg461

We live together and really we don't need anything. When we need something we just out and buy it. So would you still register or how would you handle something like this?

I really don't want people to feel like they should get us a gift. Is that also wrong? Don't really know how to go about this one.

mikenberger

Just don't register. Easy peasy. You'll probably still get gifts or cash, just send out your thank you notes after the fact and call it good. No need to put on any sort of literature "We request no gifts" please. 

And if you get offers for a shower, just decline them. 

nhultberg461

I would think since majority of guests are out of town, including two bridesmaids, that a shower really wouldn't be happening. I have a girls weekend in August for all of us to go dress shopping.

southernbelle0915

I wouldn't register. Don't force it. People may ask you where you're registered and/or what you want as a gift. You can just say, "oh, we aren't registered, but we're saving up for XYZ." People get it. Or if you truly don't want anything just say, "oh, we aren't registered and truly do not need anything."

nhultberg461

So it's not wrong to not register. I always had that vision where you go through the store with the scanner and you scan almost everything regardless if you need it or not. But I remember when I did my registries with my kids, I was very limited on what I put on there, only the stuff that was an absolute need.

Now most of our family and friends know we are saving up to buy a house, so maybe being that we don't register, we just let them know we are saving for a house and don't need anything like those china plates, or crystal wine glasses.

mikenberger

nhultberg461 said:

So it's not wrong to not register. I always had that vision where you go through the store with the scanner and you scan almost everything regardless if you need it or not. But I remember when I did my registries with my kids, I was very limited on what I put on there, only the stuff that was an absolute need.

Now most of our family and friends know we are saving up to buy a house, so maybe being that we don't register, we just let them know we are saving for a house and don't need anything like those china plates, or crystal wine glasses.

A lot of people would tell you it's tacky to tell people that you're saving for a house and you don't need gifts. So that conversation goes as follows: "Where are you registered?" "We're not registered, we've got all we need." end of conversation. Now if they say, "Oh, are you saving for something or why no gifts?" Then you can elaborate. But typically, since you don't have a registry, people will just give cash. 99% of the population agrees that cash is a great wedding gift. The other 1%, you're never going to be able to talk them into giving cash. They're always going to give a boxed gift. 

(Personally, I go by know your crowd. My grandma said "What do you want off your registry?" "I'd rather have cash, Grandma. Honestly." And Grandma laughed and said "I had hoped you said that! I don't want to go to a store." She doesn't shop online )