Photographer/Wedding guest HELP!

Knottie56612621

Hi there,

I have a bit of a tricky situation. We are getting married next year in Mexico. My fiance has always said that when we get married, he wants his cousin (they're very close, like brothers) to be our photographer (I should also note, we are not having a wedding party, so he would just be a guest) I love the idea of this because he is very talented and knows our personality and style. He does not work as a professional photographer, he now works in the film industry and photography is more of a hobby now. 

My question is, what is the etiquette for a situation like this? I know that people usually fly their photographer down and pay their accommodations, but he will already be there. I know that he would be happy to do it for us (and will be snapping away the entire trip anyway). We don't really have room in our budget for an additional fare and I doubt he would accept any form of payment. My fiance says that is can be his gift to us but since it is a destination wedding, and we aren't asking for gifts, why should he be the only one "gifting" us something? 

I am just not sure how to handle this situation. I am in the arts so I know how much time photographers put into these kinds of things, The job is not done once the pictures are taken, there is sorting and editing which takes forever! I'm not so sure my fiance realizes how much we would be asking of him. What should we do? 

elleC14

Another thing to consider is that when you're the photographer, you can't really be present in the moment for any part of the ceremony. Looking through the lens always creates distance. And if he's a good friend of yours and the only one taking any photos, he won't BE in any of the photos, which sucks if you're so close. (I was delighted to see family and friends in the photos of my ceremony. It's a small thing but it helps you remember the day.) I'm not saying you shouldn't use him in light of this, but it's definitely something to think about and maybe even discuss with him so he knows what he's getting himself into. 

On the subject of payment or compensation, I have had friends who are artistic help with the wedding. I always offer payment, even if I know it won't be accepted, because I feel it is polite and respectful of the amount of work they put into something. If they turn down payment, I try to find an alternate way to thank them, such as a special gift or contributing one of my talents to their own wedding prep/baby shower/birthday party/whatever. There are a lot of groomsman gift ideas floating around on Pinterest. Maybe something like that would be appropriate. But definitely do something to thank him! 

klk111415

I'm using a work friend who is a photo editor.  He has done two of my close friend's weddings, but I have to say- it's work! He was in picture taking mode from 7am to 6pm.  He didn't really catch a break, but he was also paid to work.  We aren't so close that I would have invited him to my own wedding, but we agreed to pay for 2 nights in his own hotel room, his transportation, and we will still be paying him.  We told him that once the reception is over, put down the camera and come to the after party and enjoy yourself.  

My futuer sister in-law took our engagement photos for us because she wanted to use it as a way to get experience.  The images came out good enough for our save the dates but even with all of her experience with photography, it wasn't anything I would have paid someone to do.  We did the editing on photoshop ourselves.

Please keep in mind,  he won't get to sit very long, he won't be enjoying the wedding the same way a guest will, and if you aren't happy with the results you will have major regrets.  If you do decide to ask him, make sure you see his work and ask specifically for wedding examples. Wedding photographers do a lot more than just take photos.  They need to position people during portraits which isn't as easy as you would think.  He needs to make sure family members listen and take him seriously, other wise you will never get the photos done.  Also, make sure you see his editing skills- and ask what kind of program he uses.  My photographer does photo editing for a living so I fully trust his skills.  Also, once the photos are taken, he will still have to spend a good amount of time editing the photos for you.  

I totally understand that it's a nice thought to use a family member or friend, and it will usually cut your cost, but these are photos you will be looking at for the rest of your life.  

I recommend that if you do ask him, you compensate him in some way.  It's hours of his time that will be spent working, and his job doesn't end at the end of your reception.  Make sure you put together a list of what photos you want.  A good way to do this is create a pinterest for wedding photography specifically.  You might have to do a lot of the positioning yourselves if he isn't proactive.  

Also, ask him to do an engagement session first to test out how professional he is.  You will quickly figure out if he's the one for the job or not.

photokitty

I would never hire family or be hired by family. If anything goes wrong it can get messy quick. Hire someone and let him be a guest and enjoy the day.

JoanE2012

photokitty said:

I would never hire family or be hired by family. If anything goes wrong it can get messy quick. Hire someone and let him be a guest and enjoy the day.

This.  Can't stress it enough.