Color of bms and mob and smob

nhultberg461

My engagement ring is a black diamond and I am leaning towards red and black as our colors. I'm letting the girls choose their dresses based off the color scheme because one my maiden of honor is my daughter and she's 5'9", same height as me, and then one by is 4'11" and 5'5" so I didn't really think that the same length would look right. And then my mom and step mom also have height differences, but question is, if I want mob and bms in black with red sashes would it be also tacky for both moms to be in the black with red too?

AddieCake

You're choosing your wedding colors around your ring? The moms can wear whatever they want. I think it's odd to expect them to match your wedding colors.

huskypuppy14

nhultberg461 said:

My engagement ring is a black diamond and I am leaning towards red and black as our colors. I'm letting the girls choose their dresses based off the color scheme because one my maiden of honor is my daughter and she's 5'9", same height as me, and then one by is 4'11" and 5'5" so I didn't really think that the same length would look right. And then my mom and step mom also have height differences, but question is, if I want mob and bms in black with red sashes would it be also tacky for both moms to be in the black with red too?

The MOB and MOG pick their own dresses. You shouldn't dictate their attire.

nhultberg461

AddieCake said:

You're choosing your wedding colors around your ring? The moms can wear whatever they want. I think it's odd to expect them to match your wedding colors.

Plus black is my favorite color.

nhultberg461

MOG more than likely won't be there, I'm talking about my mom and my step mom. I don't want to have issues between them with their dresses. I was thinking if I asked them to both stay within a color palette it would be easier

holyguacamole79

nhultberg461 said:

My engagement ring is a black diamond and I am leaning towards red and black as our colors. I'm letting the girls choose their dresses based off the color scheme because one my maiden of honor is my daughter and she's 5'9", same height as me, and then one by is 4'11" and 5'5" so I didn't really think that the same length would look right. And then my mom and step mom also have height differences, but question is, if I want mob and bms in black with red sashes would it be also tacky for both moms to be in the black with red too?

I'm sure you already are, but for lurkers ... let the moms choose their own dresses / colors. They don't have to match the bridal party. Also, go with red and black because you like that color scheme, not because you want to match your ring. Nobody will notice.

lovegood90

nhultberg461 said:

MOG more than likely won't be there, I'm talking about my mom and my step mom. I don't want to have issues between them with their dresses. I was thinking if I asked them to both stay within a color palette it would be easier

You can only suggest attire of you bridal party, not the MOG/MOB/SMOB. They choose their own attire.

lurkergirl

I think it's silly to center your colors around your ring and expect to dictate clothing for mom/step - mom.

Black is definitely the easiest choice for letting maids choose their own dresses, but let the moms where what they want. Also clothing does not need to match decor. Do you dress to match your curtains at home?

nhultberg461

Being that's your opinion on being silly. I wasn't asked to be called out in a childish manner.

AddieCake

nhultberg461 said:

Being that's your opinion on being silly. I wasn't asked to be called out in a childish manner.

And people are allowed to state their opinions. Doing so isn't childish.

mlg78

Let the mothers wear whatever they want.  I highly doubt they're going to choose a bright blue or hot pink.  Most moms want to complement the color scheme but that's THEIR decision to make, not yours.

And about the BMs, height differences mean nothing. 

nhultberg461

mlg78 said:

Let the mothers wear whatever they want.  I highly doubt they're going to choose a bright blue or hot pink.  Most moms want to complement the color scheme but that's THEIR decision to make, not yours.

And about the BMs, height differences mean nothing. 

But say you choose a long dress but when the bms stand together it doesn't look right, I know that certain styles don't look right on different heights. Im not wearing heels, and neither will my daughter, but am going to leave it the two bms if they want to wear heels are not. Would it really look tacky to have my daughter in a shorter style and the bms in longer styles? I ask this because my daughter is the moh, she's 14 too, so I will be selecting her dress with her, but am giving bms some free reign based on their budget, since they have to travel for the wedding

holyguacamole79

nhultberg461 said:

Being that's your opinion on being silly.
I wasn't asked to be called out in a childish manner.

This is the etiquette board. It is rude to dictate how parents dress. It will be common knowledge what the color palette is. If your step-mom chooses a sea foam green dress and is in pictures next to the bridal party wearing red, then that's fine. Your wedding will not be ruined.

lurkergirl

What do you mean by look tacky? To whom? What do you mean by "some free [rein]?" with the budget?

ohannabelle

As a mom, nope. Not okay. I'm a guest (or honored guest, if I'm a mother of bride or groom.) I know how to dress myself, not interested in matching the color scheme, and frankly, would feel a little silly in matching dresses. 

nhultberg461

Would it look off if the moh had a short dress and then the two bms had long dresses? Im letting them pick their dresses based on their budgets. I don't want them to pay over what they are comfortable with.

nhultberg461

ohannabelle said:

As a mom, nope. Not okay. I'm a guest (or honored guest, if I'm a mother of bride or groom.) I know how to dress myself, not interested in matching the color scheme, and frankly, would feel a little silly in matching dresses. 

That makes sense. Is their really anything you can sort of imply to them to sorta make sure one doesn't show up to out dress the other? I'm not saying that either one would do that but how can you try to prevent that?

Jen4948

Let your mothers decide for themselves what they're going to read. Presumably they are competent adults.

holyguacamole79

nhultberg461 said:

Would it look off if the moh had a short dress and then the two bms had long dresses? Im letting them pick their dresses based on their budgets. I don't want them to pay over what they are comfortable with.

That would be fine.

nhultberg461 said:

ohannabelle said:

As a mom, nope. Not okay. I'm a guest (or honored guest, if I'm a mother of bride or groom.) I know how to dress myself, not interested in matching the color scheme, and frankly, would feel a little silly in matching dresses. 

That makes sense. Is their really anything you can sort of imply to them to sorta make sure one doesn't show up to out dress the other? I'm not saying that either one would do that but how can you try to prevent that?

Say nothing. Again, they are adult women who can dress themselves.

mlg78

nhultberg461 said:

mlg78 said:

Let the mothers wear whatever they want.  I highly doubt they're going to choose a bright blue or hot pink.  Most moms want to complement the color scheme but that's THEIR decision to make, not yours.

And about the BMs, height differences mean nothing. 

But say you choose a long dress but when the bms stand together it doesn't look right, I know that certain styles don't look right on different heights. Im not wearing heels, and neither will my daughter, but am going to leave it the two bms if they want to wear heels are not. Would it really look tacky to have my daughter in a shorter style and the bms in longer styles? I ask this because my daughter is the moh, she's 14 too, so I will be selecting her dress with her, but am giving bms some free reign based on their budget, since they have to travel for the wedding

Why can't they all wear the same length? It won't look ridiculous.  People aren't looking at bridesmaids, you know.

nhultberg461

mlg78 said:

nhultberg461 said:

mlg78 said:

Let the mothers wear whatever they want.  I highly doubt they're going to choose a bright blue or hot pink.  Most moms want to complement the color scheme but that's THEIR decision to make, not yours.

And about the BMs, height differences mean nothing. 

But say you choose a long dress but when the bms stand together it doesn't look right, I know that certain styles don't look right on different heights. Im not wearing heels, and neither will my daughter, but am going to leave it the two bms if they want to wear heels are not. Would it really look tacky to have my daughter in a shorter style and the bms in longer styles? I ask this because my daughter is the moh, she's 14 too, so I will be selecting her dress with her, but am giving bms some free reign based on their budget, since they have to travel for the wedding

Why can't they all wear the same length? It won't look ridiculous.  People aren't looking at bridesmaids, you know.

I'm not saying that they can't wear the same length, I'm just wondering if they don't get the same lengths because of the height differences. It might not look like height differences if they wear a heel of some sort too. I think in my head I'm looking at the height differences too much. And then I think I'm also stressing out because our wedding can move up quickly too so I'm trying to figure out weird in end things early

mlg78

nhultberg461 said:

mlg78 said:

nhultberg461 said:

mlg78 said:

Let the mothers wear whatever they want.  I highly doubt they're going to choose a bright blue or hot pink.  Most moms want to complement the color scheme but that's THEIR decision to make, not yours.

And about the BMs, height differences mean nothing. 

But say you choose a long dress but when the bms stand together it doesn't look right, I know that certain styles don't look right on different heights. Im not wearing heels, and neither will my daughter, but am going to leave it the two bms if they want to wear heels are not. Would it really look tacky to have my daughter in a shorter style and the bms in longer styles? I ask this because my daughter is the moh, she's 14 too, so I will be selecting her dress with her, but am giving bms some free reign based on their budget, since they have to travel for the wedding

Why can't they all wear the same length? It won't look ridiculous.  People aren't looking at bridesmaids, you know.

I'm not saying that they can't wear the same length, I'm just wondering if they don't get the same lengths because of the height differences. It might not look like height differences if they wear a heel of some sort too. I think in my head I'm looking at the height differences too much. And then I think I'm also stressing out because our wedding can move up quickly too so I'm trying to figure out weird in end things early

I'm sorry but if this is stressing you out then other wedding decisions will send you overboard because you're worrying about things that shouldn't be worried about.  You let your daughter get a dress that she likes and is comfortable in and let each bridesmaid do the same thing...and then ya know what happens?  They show up on your wedding day and walk down the aisle and you get married.  Why are you wasting time on this?  SERIOUSLY?  This is the most baffling question I've seen on TK in a while.

nhultberg461

So I'm getting the impression that if you have questions about how the whole wedding thing works then not asks questions. Sorry the small things are stressing me out.

holyguacamole79

OP, I get it. There is a lot of pressure for your wedding to look perfect. Trust me, people will give zero fucks about the lengths of your bm dresses. And you will, too. When you walk down the aisle, that will be the last thing on your mind.

mlg78

nhultberg461 said:

So I'm getting the impression that if you have questions about how the whole wedding thing works then not asks questions. Sorry the small things are stressing me out.

But this shouldn't even be a "thing" to stress about!

nhultberg461

mlg78 said:

nhultberg461 said:

So I'm getting the impression that if you have questions about how the whole wedding thing works then not asks questions. Sorry the small things are stressing me out.

But this shouldn't even be a "thing" to stress about!

So in other words let mob and smob pick out their own dresses and hope they don't try to show each other up? I'm nervous about this too because I can't remember the last time my dad and mom have been in the same room in close proximity to each other too.

lurkergirl

nhultberg461 said:

mlg78 said:

nhultberg461 said:

So I'm getting the impression that if you have questions about how the whole wedding thing works then not asks questions.
Sorry the small things are stressing me out.

But this shouldn't even be a "thing" to stress about!

So in other words let mob and smob pick out their own dresses and hope they don't try to show each other up? I'm nervous about this too because I can't remember the last time my dad and mom have been in the same room in close proximity to each other too.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Look, most of us are planning weddings or already have. We get that planning a large event can be stressful. The thing is you're looking for answers that aren't ours to give. Talk to bridesmaids and ask what length they prefer. Let moms choose their own. Seat mom and dad far away from each other.

There are so many more important things to consider when planning and event where you're hosting guests. Their attire shouldn't be one of them

mlg78

nhultberg461 said:

mlg78 said:

nhultberg461 said:

So I'm getting the impression that if you have questions about how the whole wedding thing works then not asks questions. Sorry the small things are stressing me out.

But this shouldn't even be a "thing" to stress about!

So in other words let mob and smob pick out their own dresses and hope they don't try to show each other up? I'm nervous about this too because I can't remember the last time my dad and mom have been in the same room in close proximity to each other too.

I've never known mothers trying to show each other up.  Perhaps make it a fun afternoon for the two of you and go shopping with each of them.  Do lunch, try on dresses, etc.  I did that with my mom and my mother in law.

holyguacamole79

nhultberg461 said:

mlg78 said:

nhultberg461 said:

So I'm getting the impression that if you have questions about how the whole wedding thing works then not asks questions.
Sorry the small things are stressing me out.

But this shouldn't even be a "thing" to stress about!

So in other words let mob and smob pick out their own dresses and hope they don't try to show each other up? I'm nervous about this too because I can't remember the last time my dad and mom have been in the same room in close proximity to each other too.

--------------------
That's exactly it.

nhultberg461

mlg78 said:

nhultberg461 said:

mlg78 said:

nhultberg461 said:

So I'm getting the impression that if you have questions about how the whole wedding thing works then not asks questions. Sorry the small things are stressing me out.

But this shouldn't even be a "thing" to stress about!

So in other words let mob and smob pick out their own dresses and hope they don't try to show each other up? I'm nervous about this too because I can't remember the last time my dad and mom have been in the same room in close proximity to each other too.

I've never known mothers trying to show each other up.  Perhaps make it a fun afternoon for the two of you and go shopping with each of them.  Do lunch, try on dresses, etc.  I did that with my mom and my mother in law.

I would love to do this with them but one lives in California and the other lives in Arizona and I'm in Nevada. I think I'm going to have to sit back and see how this does play out and hope it works out. I have three to five venues I'm looking at. We've already decided it would be less stress to keep ceremony and reception at same location and close to a hotel or even at the hotel/casino.

MairePoppy

nhultberg461 said:

ohannabelle said:

As a mom, nope. Not okay. I'm a guest (or honored guest, if I'm a mother of bride or groom.) I know how to dress myself, not interested in matching the color scheme, and frankly, would feel a little silly in matching dresses. 

That makes sense. Is their really anything you can sort of imply to them to sorta make sure one doesn't show up to out dress the other? I'm not saying that either one would do that but how can you try to prevent that?

I saw a sitcom like that, a long time ago. The second wife bought the same dress as the first wife, on purpose. Bride gave mom a heads up so she could get a better dress for the wedding. MOB told bride not to worry, she had this covered. MOB showed up in THE DRESS at the RD to the horror of second wife. It was a very, very funny scene. It was TV, though. I hope your family doesn't act like a crazy sit-com family.

The moms wear whatever they want to the wedding. They don't have to match or complement each other, the bms or the décor.

Your MOH and bms may wear different lengths of dresses or they can match. This is a matter of personal taste.