Space Limitation & Out of Town Family....

vixengurl1117

My fiance and I are planning a backyard wedding (second wedding for both of us) and can fit no more than 100 people in the space - however, with our current invite list, we are currently at 130 guests. I know that everyone says that you will have 10-20% not attend, but I don't want to bank on that!  So, here is my dilemma...

We will be getting married on May 16th, 2015 in California...we will be heading to Chicago for my fiance to play in a  hockey tournament 1 week later....We have roughly 25-30 family members from Chicago who, of course, we want to attend our ceremony, but since we will be out there just 1 week later, how can I "suggest" they save their money and skip flying out to California to attend the wedding, and INSTEAD, we will host a wedding dinner/party in Chicago when we come out a week later?  This would solve my space restrictions here in California and saves them the cost of flying out, hotel costs, etc....

Is this appropriate?  If so, how do you go about telling family this without hurting any feelings?  HELP!

classicalandedgy

This is a tough situation.  The first thing I would say, is don't go by the 10-20% rule only invite as many people as your venue can hold.  If you happen to get 100% attendance you are screwed, so just don't do it to yourself. 

In regard to the family in Chicago, I don't think there is a way to do this without some hurt feelings about not being invited to the actual wedding.  I understand the sentiment and consideration of you not wanting them to spend the money on traveling, but it should be their decision IMO.   

larrygaga

How do you know how many people you can fit in your backyard exactly?

vixengurl1117

My Fiance and I actually "laid out" circular cut outs that are the table dimensions in the yard to see exactly how may tables we could fit.  COMFORTABLY, we can fit 10 tables of 10...if we need to, we are just going to have to put a few extra tables onto the patio area that we were hoping to keep clear for foot traffic & dancing.  

[Deleted User]

I personally would not be able to handle the stress of over-inviting just in case you do get 100% acceptance.  I would work really hard to whittle the list so that noone feels separated out but you're sure you can accomodate everyone.  Good luck!