Bridal Shower Guest List

pinkjunebride15

So, here's my situation. I got engaged and finalized my guest list and then started college, graduated and started a new job.

I met a lot of great women in college and we're still friends and I've also met a lot of great women at my job. Our guest list was finalized before meeting them and we can't afford to add all of them to the guest list now anyway... would it be inapprorpiate to invite them to one of my bridal showers but not my wedding?
I don't want to come across that they're only good enough to give me presents and not come to my wedding, I just enjoy their company and think it would be nice if they came to my bridal shower (present or no present) I just can't keep adding a ton of people to my wedding guest list.

Help!

flantastic

SamanthaandDevin2015 said:

So, here's my situation. I got engaged and finalized my guest list and then started college, graduated and started a new job.

I met a lot of great women in college and we're still friends and I've also met a lot of great women at my job. Our guest list was finalized before meeting them and we can't afford to add all of them to the guest list now anyway... would it be inapprorpiate to invite them to one of my bridal showers but not my wedding?
I don't want to come across that they're only good enough to give me presents and not come to my wedding, I just enjoy their company and think it would be nice if they came to my bridal shower (present or no present) I just can't keep adding a ton of people to my wedding guest list.

Help!

How long were you in college? Why would you finalize your guest list before then? I feel like there are other people with whom you are no longer as close that you could cut from the list now.

That said, yes, it would be inappropriate. There's no good way to do this.

poodledoodleooo

Hi Samantha! It would indeed be really inappropriate to invite them only to the shower. Showers are gift-giving events, so people could very well think you only want them there for the presents...

If you want to see these folks, host a non-bridal luncheon, party, brunch, etc., to have some time spend with them and enjoy their company.

Edit: TK ate some words

pinkjunebride15

I was only in college for 7 months (short course)

We finalized it because we were way over our guest limit at that time so we decided to finalize it and not add anyone else to it because it was getting too expensive.

There's no one on the list that we can really cut though.

lovegood90

No, you can't just invite them to your shower. Anyone invited to pre-wedding parties (showers, bachelorette parties, engagement parties, etc) must also be invited to the wedding. I'm sure it sucks but people should understand that they can't be invited to everything.

If I was one of your work friends I'd be more offended at being invited to the shower and not the wedding than not being invited to anything at all.

pinkjunebride15

That's very fair.

Thank you for your input ladies

pinkjunebride15

lovegood90 said:

No, you can't just invite them to your shower. Anyone invited to pre-wedding parties (showers, bachelorette parties, engagement parties, etc) must also be invited to the wedding. I'm sure it sucks but people should understand that they can't be invited to everything.

If I was one of your work friends I'd be more offended at being invited to the shower and not the wedding than not being invited to anything at all.

That's a good point. I've been invited to bachelorette parties but not the wedding before, that didn't really bother me. I think the bachelorette party might be a different thing all together, more party less gifting.

but thanks for your input.

southernbelle0915

Yea, its against etiquette to invite people to the shower only. If you want to stay on good terms with them and not come off as gift grabby, don't do this.

If you want to spend time with them, just make an effort socially - like inviting then out to drinks/brunch/dinner/etc.

lovegood90

pinkjunebride15 said:

lovegood90 said:

No, you can't just invite them to your shower. Anyone invited to pre-wedding parties (showers, bachelorette parties, engagement parties, etc) must also be invited to the wedding. I'm sure it sucks but people should understand that they can't be invited to everything.

If I was one of your work friends I'd be more offended at being invited to the shower and not the wedding than not being invited to anything at all.

That's a good point. I've been invited to bachelorette parties but not the wedding before, that didn't really bother me. I think the bachelorette party might be a different thing all together, more party less gifting.

but thanks for your input.

Unfortunately even though the bachelorette isn't a gift-giving event, it's still rude to invite people not invited to the wedding. It's still a wedding-related event.

flantastic

lovegood90 said:

pinkjunebride15 said:

lovegood90 said:

No, you can't just invite them to your shower. Anyone invited to pre-wedding parties (showers, bachelorette parties, engagement parties, etc) must also be invited to the wedding. I'm sure it sucks but people should understand that they can't be invited to everything.

If I was one of your work friends I'd be more offended at being invited to the shower and not the wedding than not being invited to anything at all.

That's a good point. I've been invited to bachelorette parties but not the wedding before, that didn't really bother me. I think the bachelorette party might be a different thing all together, more party less gifting.

but thanks for your input.

Unfortunately even though the bachelorette isn't a gift-giving event, it's still rude to invite people not invited to the wedding. It's still a wedding-related event.

Yep. It makes it obvious that you are good enough to come out and make the bride the center of attention for a night, but not good enough for her to host you at her wedding.