adult only reception...well kind of..

kmedeiros89

Ok so my fiance and I wanted to have an adult only reception however, there are some children that we're very close with and would want them there. Is it totally rude to allow these children to come but tell others it's adults only? I went to a wedding this year where that was the case, the invite said adult reception but there were about 7 kids there. It didn't bother me but I don't know if it would make anyone upset. I definitely don't want to upset people but if we invite everyone's children there will be A LOT of little ones running around.

flantastic

kmedeiros89 said:

Ok so my fiance and I wanted to have an adult only reception however, there are some children that we're very close with and would want them there. Is it totally rude to allow these children to come but tell others it's adults only? I went to a wedding this year where that was the case, the invite said adult reception but there were about 7 kids there. It didn't bother me but I don't know if it would make anyone upset. I definitely don't want to upset people but if we invite everyone's children there will be A LOT of little ones running around.

Your invite should never indicate who's not invited, so they screwed up there. Just address your invitations to whomever's invited (so if that's just the parents, just write "Mr. & Mrs. Smith).

You can invite some children and not others. The only children we invited were FI's nieces and nephew, and everyone understood. What makes it easier is if there's a clear "circle" of invitations - e.g. all nieces and nephews, no cousins' kids, no work friends' kids, etc. It gets messy when people arrive to see that someone with the same "standing" or relationship to the B&G had their kids invited but theirs were not, but you're still within your right to invite only the children you want.

thisismynickname2

If the invite said "adults only" -- which is against etiquette -- and kids were there, I'm taking a wild guess that the guests were just as rude in bringing their speschul kids despite the request. It seems so odd to me to put that in the invitation while still allowing some kids to be there anyway...

Even when you properly address invitations to be explicitly clear who's invited, you may have jerks who disregard it and bring kids- the types of people who think kids should be invited to anything and everything. 

You can invite in circles or just invite kids in the wedding party. For example, just your siblings' kids, or just your first cousins, circles like that. 

Be prepared to have the conversation after you get back RSVP cards-- "No, the invite was just for you and xxx, I'm sorry we cannot accommodate the kids." 

kmmssg

Kids are like any other class of guests.  You don't have to invite all your coworkers, family, neighbors, church family, etc.  You also don't have to invite all children.  That doesn't mean entitled parents might not get a wrinkle in their bloomers, but that is their problem, not yours.