Is it weird not to have a MOH?

Knottie74340568

My fiance and I are getting married in October of 2015. However, I still haven't formally asked my bridal party attendants to be in the wedding because I don't know who to choose as my MOH. In the past 5 months we have been engaged, my decision has changed at least a dozen times for different reasons. I'm having three of my best friends from high school and my fiance's sister in the wedding. However, I simply can't decide who to choose as my MOH between the three, plus I honestly don't like the idea of ranking my best friends anyway. They're all equally close to me and, although it's ultimately what I want, it's still important to me that I don't hurt anyone's feelings. Can I just have them all be bridesmaids? How can I explain this to them when I do formally ask?

KatWAG

If you dont want a MOH, then do not have one. There is no rule that says you have to have a MOH.

I think its great that you are trying to treat your friends equally and be respetful of their feelings. Its refreshing. And all too rare.

lovegood90

Of course, I don't see an issue at all with not having a MOH. Just have everyone be bridesmaids or everyone be MOH, it doesn't matter. There's no real "role" distinction between MOH and bridesmaid- their only role is to stand up next to you on your wedding.

I'd just ask them to be bridesmaids, and if any of them ask you who your MOH is I'd just say something like "oh, I couldn't choose so I'm just having everyone as bridesmaids!" and leave it at that.

climbingsingle

Not weird at all. I was an attendant in my cousin's wedding, along with one other girl. Neither of us were designated as MOH. We were just both bridesmaids. 

Knottie65365371

I am in a similar situation - 3 close friends and my fiance's two sisters as attendants.  I cannot pick between the three girls.  In a way, you have to pick because someone has to stand next to you/walk last right?  So, how do I handle that?

AuroraRose41

While I haven't asked yet, I have 4 in mind who have been friends of mine for many, many years. I also think of them all equally and couldn't decide on one to be MOH, so I am having them all as bridesmaids. 

Knottie65365371 said:

I am in a similar situation - 3 close friends and my fiance's two sisters as attendants.  I cannot pick between the three girls.  In a way, you have to pick because someone has to stand next to you/walk last right?  So, how do I handle that?

I will need to think of this too. I was thinking maybe have the one who you have known the longest stand the closest to you, if that makes sense? I also might base it on who would go better with each groomsman (personality wise; there are certain pairs that I would not put together, even for the 30 seconds it takes to walk next to each other after the ceremony), and what order FI wants his groomsmen in (he seems to have a clearer idea of the order for his). 

ETA: I am also trying to come up with ways to split traditional MOH ceremony duties among them. Before you have my head for giving them duties, I meant that as who signs the marriage certificate, who holds my bouquet, if any of them want to give a toast, etc. I would also appreciate ideas for that. 

AddieCake

I had 2 bridesmaids. No MOH.

runsonveggies

Knottie65365371 said:

I am in a similar situation - 3 close friends and my fiance's two sisters as attendants.  I cannot pick between the three girls.  In a way, you have to pick because someone has to stand next to you/walk last right?  So, how do I handle that?

You could just have them in alphabetical order, in order of how long you've known them, in order of age, in order of height, etc. If you truly don't want to "pick" then use some other method to do the picking for you.

Viczaesar

Knottie74340568 said:

My fiance and I are getting married in October of 2015. However, I still haven't formally asked my bridal party attendants to be in the wedding because I don't know who to choose as my MOH. In the past 5 months we have been engaged, my decision has changed at least a dozen times for different reasons. I'm having three of my best friends from high school and my fiance's sister in the wedding. However, I simply can't decide who to choose as my MOH between the three, plus I honestly don't like the idea of ranking my best friends anyway. They're all equally close to me and, although it's ultimately what I want, it's still important to me that I don't hurt anyone's feelings. Can I just have them all be bridesmaids? How can I explain this to them when I do formally ask?

Yes, that's perfectly fine and not uncommon.  Just tell them that you love them all and couldn't imagine picking one over the others so they're all your bridesmaids (or all your MOHs). 

jenijoyk

I didn't have a MOH and it was perfect. My three besties were all bridesmaids. They stood tallest to shortest, shortest next to me. I'm shorter than all of them, so I used that as the reasoning (even though I didn't care) because that way it was totally objective. The girl next to me took my bouquet when I made it to the front. 

My husband also did not have a BM. I don't know how he decided to line them up, he probably just told them to get in whatever order they wanted. Both of our brothers were groomsmen, so we had each of them hold a ring. DH asked one of the other guys to make sure the DJ got the tip at the end of the night. Easy peasy. 

They all worked out how they wanted to plan the shower and bachelorette (actually, it was a showerette) and bachelor parties themselves. And we asked if they all wanted to give a toast and they all said yes, and worked it out amongst themselves how they wanted to coordinate it (the guys all went up and did one together, and then the girls did). 

So basically, your friends love you and will make sure everything falls into place without you having to designate a MOH or BM. In fact, I totally recommend it!