Future sister in law poems

Ueckersam

So my fiancé has a very large family, having 5 sisters. With him having so many sisters we agreed for me not to have any if them part of the bridal party since we agreed just on 5 for each of us. So to be nice, they are all helping out someway in the wedding, I wanted to give them each a special gift from me to say thanks and how happy I am to gain 5 sisters. I'm waiting to give them each poems saying so but Im having such a hard time finding any good future sister in law poems or gift ideas! Any help or suggestions??

[Deleted User]

Ueckersam said:

So my fiancé has a very large family, having 5 sisters. With him having so many sisters we agreed for me not to have any if them part of the bridal party since we agreed just on 5 for each of us. So to be nice, they are all helping out someway in the wedding, I wanted to give them each a special gift from me to say thanks and how happy I am to gain 5 sisters. I'm waiting to give them each poems saying so but Im having such a hard time finding any good future sister in law poems or gift ideas! Any help or suggestions??

Ugh, they haven't been voluntold to do something obnoxious, have they?

ShesSoCold

This sounds like a job for @AddieCake

AddieCake

Hahahahahahaha! I am gonna need more info before I compose, @ShesSoCold‌ . OP, do tell. HOW are these lovely ladies going to "help out"?

Ueckersam

They all said what they would like to do and said they wanted to help out any way possible.

Ueckersam

Some are helping to decorate the park, ones helping with the guest book. They are helping out where needed and being involved where they want to be

slothiegal

Ueckersam said:

Some are helping to decorate the park, ones helping with the guest book. They are helping out where needed and being involved where they want to be

.........how much help does a guest book require.....?

Here's a perfect helper who doesn't even require a poem:

mlg78

slothiegal said:

Ueckersam said:

Some are helping to decorate the park, ones helping with the guest book. They are helping out where needed and being involved where they want to be

.........how much help does a guest book require.....?

Here's a perfect helper who doesn't even require a poem:

That looks tough. Isn't there someone standing nearby to help me figure out what to do with this pen and book with lines?

Ueckersam

I thought this was suppose to be a place to ask for help and suggestions? Not a place to be rude to people and make unnecessary comments? I thought this was somewhere that a bride could get help and ideas from other brides that were going through the same things and WANTED to help others out. Please, if you have nothing nice to say besides rude comments don't bother with leaving a comment. Thank

artbyallie

Ueckersam said:

I thought this was suppose to be a place to ask for help and suggestions? Not a place to be rude to people and make unnecessary comments? I thought this was somewhere that a bride could get help and ideas from other brides that were going through the same things and WANTED to help others out. Please, if you have nothing nice to say besides rude comments don't bother with leaving a comment. Thank

Helpful advice: Don't make your future in-laws or anyone else do chores for your wedding. Do not ask/tell them to decorate, hand out programs, or stand beside the guestbook. It's an insult, not an honor. Your guests are perfectly capable of signing the guestbook on their own.

LondonLisa

So just so we are clear: you want to give each of these women a poem because they mean so much to you, by finding said poem on the internet and just printing it out?

Here you go:

I am so excited (but not really) to have 5 new siblings

you mean so much to me that you get to do all of my wedding organisation and fiddling

I would buy you a gift  but I'm far too frugal

So instead I spend all of 10 seconds to find this on Google

Instead of actually spending time and effort to thank you for being voluntold to run my buffet

I'm going to give you all the same BS poem because, whatever, ITS MY DAY!!!!

I have seriously never heard of such a horrible, phoned-in gift! It is frankly insulting. Here is some advice: Do not give them any chores to do at the wedding. If you want to give them something, write each of them a DIFFERENT card saying why they, specifically, are important to you. Maybe Deborah has great fashion sense and you appreciate how that has helped you, whilst Susan is funny and always makes you laugh. 

southernbelle0915

It just doesn't make sense that they went from being considered guests of honor (potential BMs), to saying "nah, we'll just give them all jobs to do." It's not an honor to decorate the park, or ask people to sign guest book, or pass out programs, or clean up, or put gifts in your car. Those are JOBS. 

Really nice ways to honor them and tell them you're looking forward to gaining 5 sisters would be to reserve good seats for them at the ceremony, give them corsages with a note that says "can't wait to have you as my sister-in-law", reserve a nice table for them at the reception, make sure they get served (if plated)/dismissed (if a buffet) toward the beginning..... 

All those things are much nicer than "hey can you arrive 3 hours early and decorate the park?" No.

Ueckersam

Wow. You are seriously the most judgmental set of girls I have ever met. I didn't go into detail about everything. I didn't tell you al,of the other things I am doing for them and how they all said they wanted to help do these things. First off none of these are JOBS. Second off my fiancé said he didn't want them in the wedding and they all agreed they didn't want to be in the wedding because they wanted me to have my family members as my bridal party. Here's your helpful advice. Keep your rude remarks to yourself. When they say "I would love to do all the decorating for you I have some really cool ideas I want to try" should I tell her no? Or "I'm practicing on doing invitations, can I do yours ?" Tell her no cause that's a chore. Or when I said we want to do photos for the guest book and one said "I'll take the pictures I just got my new camera and I want to put it to good use" say oh no. That's a chore I don't want your help Please don't judge me when none if you know details I have them each separate presents. I have them all gifts. They all have front row seats and Im hand making their flowers. I custom made them gifts that I know each would like. And They are staying with me the night before to get ready and have their hair and make up done which I am paying for as a gift to thank them for all their help. I just thought some cute sister in law poems would be a nice added touch to add. I thought this was a place to help others out, not to be such horrible judgmental people to strangers who are just looking for advice. So please. If you are going to be rude and unkind keep your thoughts to yourself. Thanks.

slothiegal

Ueckersam said:

Wow. You are seriously the most judgmental set of girls I have ever met.
I didn't go into detail about everything. I didn't tell you al,of the other things I am doing for them and how they all said they wanted to help do these things. First off none of these are JOBS. Second off my fiancé said he didn't want them in the wedding and they all agreed they didn't want to be in the wedding because they wanted me to have my family members as my bridal party.

Here's your helpful advice. Keep your rude remarks to yourself.

When they say "I would love to do all the decorating for you I have some really cool ideas I want to try" should I tell her no?
Or "I'm practicing on doing invitations, can I do yours ?" Tell her no cause that's a chore.
Or when I said we want to do photos for the guest book and one said "I'll take the pictures I just got my new camera and I want to put it to good use" say oh no. That's a chore I don't want your help

Please don't judge me when none if you know details

I have them each separate presents. I have them all gifts. They all have front row seats and Im hand making their flowers. I custom made them gifts that I know each would like. And They are staying with me the night before to get ready and have their hair and make up done which I am paying for as a gift to thank them for all their help. I just thought some cute sister in law poems would be a nice added touch to add.

I thought this was a place to help others out, not to be such horrible judgmental people to strangers who are just looking for advice.

So please. If you are going to be rude and unkind keep your thoughts to yourself. Thanks.

Couple of things:

Obviously we don't know everything. That would be super weird if we knew your whole situation. People replied on the information you provided..

Who was rude to you? Point me in the direction. Were my question and picture offensive and rude in your eyes? If so, the internet might not be the place for you. If anything, you're the one coming off as rude by lashing out and call us "horrible" just for speaking our thoughts on the situation.

The thing about the internet is people can post their own opinions. Just because you don't like opinions, doesn't make the rest of us a pack of terrible jackasses. It means you didn't like our opinions. Just like we said we didn't like the idea of these little tasks or poems.

I'm going to continue to post how I damn well please. Thanks.

MobKaz

slothiegal said:

Wow. You are seriously the most judgmental set of girls I have ever met. I didn't go into detail about everything. I didn't tell you al,of the other things I am doing for them and how they all said they wanted to help do these things. First off none of these are JOBS. Second off my fiancé said he didn't want them in the wedding and they all agreed they didn't want to be in the wedding because they wanted me to have my family members as my bridal party. Here's your helpful advice. Keep your rude remarks to yourself. When they say "I would love to do all the decorating for you I have some really cool ideas I want to try" should I tell her no? Or "I'm practicing on doing invitations, can I do yours ?" Tell her no cause that's a chore. Or when I said we want to do photos for the guest book and one said "I'll take the pictures I just got my new camera and I want to put it to good use" say oh no. That's a chore I don't want your help Please don't judge me when none if you know details I have them each separate presents. I have them all gifts. They all have front row seats and Im hand making their flowers. I custom made them gifts that I know each would like. And They are staying with me the night before to get ready and have their hair and make up done which I am paying for as a gift to thank them for all their help. I just thought some cute sister in law poems would be a nice added touch to add. I thought this was a place to help others out, not to be such horrible judgmental people to strangers who are just looking for advice. So please. If you are going to be rude and unkind keep your thoughts to yourself. Thanks.

Couple of things: Obviously we don't know everything. That would be super weird if we knew your whole situation. People replied on the information you provided.. Who was rude to you? Point me in the direction. Were my question and picture offensive and rude in your eyes? If so, the internet might not be the place for you. If anything, you're the one coming off as rude by lashing out and call us "horrible" just for speaking our thoughts on the situation. The thing about the internet is people can post their own opinions. Just because you don't like opinions, doesn't make the rest of us a pack of terrible jackasses. It means you didn't like our opinions. Just like we said we didn't like the idea of these little tasks or poems. I'm going to continue to post how I damn well please. Thanks.

Most people PAY for invitations, decorating, and photography, so, yes, they are indeed jobs.

You are having ONE person take care of all the decorating?  Won't she be a tired, hot, sweaty mess when she is done?  If she can't do it all herself, does SHE have to go begging for help?

As the photographer, they rarely have a moment of rest.  You find it flattering and an honor to have a sister in law photograph your wedding rather than enjoy herself as a guest?  What if you don't like her pictures?

You have a SIL practicing making invitations?  Again, what if you don't like them?  What if she falls behind your time frame? 

I don't need to know any additional details to know that these are indeed JOBS.  Being asked to do jobs is not an honor.  Being a guest and enjoying the wedding is the honor.

kaos16

Ueckersam said:

Wow. You are seriously the most judgmental set of girls I have ever met. I didn't go into detail about everything. I didn't tell you al,of the other things I am doing for them and how they all said they wanted to help do these things. First off none of these are JOBS. Second off my fiancé said he didn't want them in the wedding and they all agreed they didn't want to be in the wedding because they wanted me to have my family members as my bridal party. Here's your helpful advice. Keep your rude remarks to yourself. When they say "I would love to do all the decorating for you I have some really cool ideas I want to try" should I tell her no? Or "I'm practicing on doing invitations, can I do yours ?" Tell her no cause that's a chore. Or when I said we want to do photos for the guest book and one said "I'll take the pictures I just got my new camera and I want to put it to good use" say oh no. That's a chore I don't want your help Please don't judge me when none if you know details I have them each separate presents. I have them all gifts. They all have front row seats and Im hand making their flowers. I custom made them gifts that I know each would like. And They are staying with me the night before to get ready and have their hair and make up done which I am paying for as a gift to thank them for all their help. I just thought some cute sister in law poems would be a nice added touch to add. I thought this was a place to help others out, not to be such horrible judgmental people to strangers who are just looking for advice. So please. If you are going to be rude and unkind keep your thoughts to yourself. Thanks.

Each of your five future sister in laws just happen to have a special talent specific to weddings that they are begging to do for you?  That may be quite possible the biggest coincidence I have ever heard of in my life.  

I think a personalized note or card is a better idea than a generic SIL poem that would be copied for all of them.  There have to be specific feelings you have towards each of them separately, no?

As for both agreeing on 5 attendants, I just want to mention for lurkers, and possibly your own wedding.......you do NOT need to have even sides.  If someone drops out of either side, don't replace them or kick someone out to make even sides again.  Frankly, if you want your future SILs as your attendants you should ask them to be your attendants, not to help out at your wedding.

Ueckersam

One. I am purchasing the invitations she is printing them out. She has done it for all family weddings. She enjoys it and wants to start it as a business on etsy. I offered to pay her and told her she didn't have to. She said she wanted to as she enjoys doing it and helps her become a step towards doing something she wants. So no, I don't see that as a job and I've seen her work from the 8+ times she's done it for other family members. Two. There are 3 people who want to do decorating. It's an outside wedding so there isn't a lot of decorations besides tule. Which she works at a craft store and has access to all kinds and patterns for cheap cost. As to why she wants to help do it since she enjoys crafts along with th other two who are into decor and wanted to join in on the helping. Again, I told them they did not have to but they insisted they wanted to HELP with their brothers big day. Three. She's not the photographer. She's taking pictures for the guest book as they arrive. That's it. We have our own photographer doing our professional pictures. She is doing silly poses for guest book. And again. She offered to do it because she enjoys photography. Didn't want payment. Wanted to do it to HELP out and because she likes it. And lately. Everyone volunteered themselves to help. I did not once ask them to do it and after they all said they wanted to I made it aware they did not have to but they WANTED to. So no, I do not consider it jobs nor do they. They consider it helping out on thei brothers wedding day.

Ueckersam

What I don't understand is if you don't like the idea of the poems why comment? Why? Two, pictures? I don't know what you're talking bout. Three, I called no one jackasses. Please don't put words in my mouth. And lately as I have been saying I thought this was a place to get helpful tips and just help in general. Not to come and bash on someone because you don't like their idea. All im asking is if you aren't willing to help there's no need to post your opinion. Right? As these forms are to be helpful. Not negative.

flantastic

Ueckersam said:

What I don't understand is if you don't like the idea of the poems why comment? Why? Two, pictures? I don't know what you're talking bout. Three, I called no one jackasses. Please don't put words in my mouth. And lately as I have been saying I thought this was a place to get helpful tips and just help in general. Not to come and bash on someone because you don't like their idea. All im asking is if you aren't willing to help there's no need to post your opinion. Right? As these forms are to be helpful. Not negative.

Sometimes the best help is to speak up and say a silly idea is silly.

slothiegal

Ueckersam said:

What I don't understand is if you don't like the idea of the poems why comment? Why? Two, pictures? I don't know what you're talking bout. Three, I called no one jackasses. Please don't put words in my mouth. And lately as I have been saying I thought this was a place to get helpful tips and just help in general. Not to come and bash on someone because you don't like their idea. All im asking is if you aren't willing to help there's no need to post your opinion. Right? As these forms are to be helpful. Not negative.

One, because this is an open board and I can comment on whatever I want.

Two, I posted a picture.  I was wondering if that was what you found so unbelievably "rude".

Three, I'm aware.  Hence the lack of quotation marks around the term.  You can see the difference when I used the word "horrible", as you DID use that to describe us.

You don't get to chose who responds to your post and how they do so.  Welcome to the internet.

Ueckersam

If you want to be unpleasant that's fine. I'm just finding it hard to understand why. If you don't agree with something that's fine. But why leave comments being negative ? I didn't ask for negative comments so why leave them? Why try to ruin someone's idea or feelings just because? Just curious as this is a site that's suppose to be positive and helpful. Not to be negative and disrespectful. I just expected more common curtsy from other brides or past brides. Guess my expectations are too high for other females. Thanks for your input on my post! And you used the word jackasses. Which I never said and don't want anyone to think I would call them that. Clearing the air on that so people don't think I use that language on others I don't know. Thanks again for all your post!

NYCMercedes

Ueckersam said:

If you want to be unpleasant that's fine. I'm just finding it hard to understand why. If you don't agree with something that's fine. But why leave comments being negative ? I didn't ask for negative comments so why leave them? Why try to ruin someone's idea or feelings just because? Just curious as this is a site that's suppose to be positive and helpful. Not to be negative and disrespectful. I just expected more common curtsy from other brides or past brides. Guess my expectations are too high for other females. Thanks for your input on my post! And you used the word jackasses. Which I never said and don't want anyone to think I would call them that. Clearing the air on that so people don't think I use that language on others I don't know. Thanks again for all your post!

Write a heartfelt thank you note. You will then not be bound by the confines of poetry. As far as a gift, shop for each personally. If one likes wine, a bottle of wine. If one loves Starbucks, a Starbucks gift card. A scarf for the scarf lover, etc.

southernbelle0915

Ueckersam said:

One. I am purchasing the invitations she is printing them out. She has done it for all family weddings. She enjoys it and wants to start it as a business on etsy. I offered to pay her and told her she didn't have to. She said she wanted to as she enjoys doing it and helps her become a step towards doing something she wants. So no, I don't see that as a job and I've seen her work from the 8+ times she's done it for other family members.

Two. There are 3 people who want to do decorating. It's an outside wedding so there isn't a lot of decorations besides tule. Which she works at a craft store and has access to all kinds and patterns for cheap cost. As to why she wants to help do it since she enjoys crafts along with th other two who are into decor and wanted to join in on the helping. Again, I told them they did not have to but they insisted they wanted to HELP with their brothers big day.

Three. She's not the photographer. She's taking pictures for the guest book as they arrive. That's it. We have our own photographer doing our professional pictures. She is doing silly poses for guest book. And again. She offered to do it because she enjoys photography. Didn't want payment. Wanted to do it to HELP out and because she likes it.

And lately. Everyone volunteered themselves to help. I did not once ask them to do it and after they all said they wanted to I made it aware they did not have to but they WANTED to. So no, I do not consider it jobs nor do they. They consider it helping out on thei brothers wedding day.

JIC

Viczaesar

Ueckersam said:

I thought this was suppose to be a place to ask for help and suggestions? Not a place to be rude to people and make unnecessary comments? I thought this was somewhere that a bride could get help and ideas from other brides that were going through the same things and WANTED to help others out. Please, if you have nothing nice to say besides rude comments don't bother with leaving a comment. Thank

I have exciting news for you - it can be BOTH a place where people ask for help and suggestions AND a place where people make comments that are seen as unnecessary by some.  It's ALSO a place where someone can get ideas from other brides.  What it's NOT is your playground, where you get to make up the rules of engagement and kick people out if you don't like the sand castle they're making.

ShesSoCold

If no one had told me that some of my ideas were bad, I would have made an ass of myself. Like a PP said, sometimes the best advice isn't what you want to hear. We're not here to blow smoke and sparkles up your ass. 

augsum15

Ueckersam said:

So my fiancé has a very large family, having 5 sisters. With him having so many sisters we agreed for me not to have any if them part of the bridal party since we agreed just on 5 for each of us. So to be nice, they are all helping out someway in the wedding, I wanted to give them each a special gift from me to say thanks and how happy I am to gain 5 sisters. I'm waiting to give them each poems saying so but Im having such a hard time finding any good future sister in law poems or gift ideas! Any help or suggestions??

Getting back to your original post, I think it's a great idea. If you're having trouble finding poems, why not write them yourself? It's easy enough to find "poem writing ideas" or helpful hints; and then you can personalize it to each of them, it doesn't have to be long. What I'm considering doing is a poem for each of my bridesmaids, and then putting it in a double frame, with the second frame empty which I'll give them a picture of each pair of us together from the wedding day. You could do something similar.