Ladies that have two or more dogs. I need your help!

climbingsingle

Now that my H is working more a full time job, our dog is alone for longer than she's been used to. She still gets a ton of exercise when we get home during the week and on weekends. We are considering the idea of adopting another dog, mostly so that she's not alone so much during the day. However, I have a few concerns:

Stella is 4. I adopted her when she was 6 months old. So, she's been used to being the only dog for a long time. When we're home, she's very attached to us. We've interacted with other dogs and she doesn't seem to like to share our attention. 

She tends to play rough. The dog we would potentially adopt would have to be at least her size, if not bigger. She has gotten into fights with other dogs, but in each of those cases, she was not the aggressor. She was defending herself. Either way, that does concern me. 

I would hate to adopt another dog, and then have to rehome him or her. But my loyalties will lie with Stella, as she is my first child. 

I don't know that I want to take this risk. H and I are both on the fence. We'd love for her to have another dog to play with, but we're apprehensive. Has anyone been in a similar situation? Have you introduced a new dog into your house, after having another dog for a few years? 

theartistformerlyknownas

We have two dogs, but they sleep all day when we're not home - they're not getting any more play time than when they were alone. 

H's dog was 3 when I moved in with my dog - she's 50lbs and very rambunctious, and mine is 10lbs and a little chicken shit. She learned quickly to play gently with him.

penguin44

We have two dogs. They are similar size and weight. Both hunting dogs. Similar age. One was H's dog and one was mine. They get along okay. Like 99% of the time. But one likes to play and one doesn't. They are also both girls, so their issues stem from that mostly.

They both sleep all day. I have been thinking about the same things you have. Our rambunctious dog is aggressive toward other dogs though. So she doesn't get to play much. I have been thinking about adopting a male that would be playful. But then we would have more dogs than space in our car...

charlottesmom0626

Have you tried taking her to doggy day care once a week or so? If it's in your budget, you could consider that. This would let you see how she does with other dogs and maybe once a week is all she needs, 

 My dog hates other dogs, but my parent's dog goes to day camp sometimes just to get his energy out. My parents don't want another dog, but this way he gets their attention nights/weekends, and additional time with other dogs and people during the day time on a weekday. 

climbingsingle

charlottesmom0626 said:

Have you tried taking her to doggy day care once a week or so? If it's in your budget, you could consider that. This would let you see how she does with other dogs and maybe once a week is all she needs, 

 My dog hates other dogs, but my parent's dog goes to day camp sometimes just to get his energy out. My parents don't want another dog, but this way he gets their attention nights/weekends, and additional time with other dogs and people during the day time on a weekday. 

She's banned for Doggy Day Care. That's one of the places she got into a fight at. She was still pretty young then, and she was trying to play with an older dog. The older dog was having none of it, but my Stella can be slow on the uptake. The older dog nipped her, and she bit her back. So they banned my dog. 

luckya23

My two female dogs got along fine at first, but now they can't even look at each other and we've had to divide our house in half.

From what you say about your dog, I wouldn't take the chance!!!!  It really, really sucks.

Many dogs are perfectly happy being single dogs! 

luckya23

Oh, and I don't think that dogs really entertain each other or even interact much when we are away.  They mostly sleep.

climbingsingle

luckya23 said:

My two female dogs got along fine at first, but now they can't even look at each other and we've had to divide our house in half.

From what you say about your dog, I wouldn't take the chance!!!!  It really, really sucks.

Many dogs are perfectly happy being single dogs! 

This is what I've been thinking too - that she really does enjoy being the only dog in the house. 

luckya23

Oh, and it's really, really hard to tell who was the "aggressor" in dog fights.  My dogs have been fighting almost daily for 2 months, and it often starts with "a look" which I would consider the aggressor, no matter who jumps first.

penguin44

I will say that when our dogs cuddle with each other its really cute. But I think that they would have both been happy as single dogs if given the choice.

maeday2

My parents added another dog when the "only child dog" was 4. He never showed signs of aggression or of being that territorial. He played well with other dogs, but it was always on neutral territory. 

It took a while for dog #1 to really embrace dog #2. He became jealous and they still have fights occasionally and he's 10. Dog #2 loves love loves dog #1 and I think it's mutual. He's just a grumpy old man and doesn't want to admit it. 

Anyway, it was a process for them. While doggy day care is a good suggestion for observing how your dog socializes, things change when it's on their territory. 

novella1186

I had my beagle from the time she was 6 weeks old. She has a major attitude and a princess complex. And if any dogs/puppies are smaller than her, she will literally step on them on purpose. 

When she was 4 or 5, I adopted a puppy. He was crated when I wasn't home so I wasn't worried about my beagle picking on him, but when I was home I had to watch her because she was a total bully. She would take toys away from him and place them on the couch where he was too little to reach. She would kick the water bowl and flip it upside down-- thus splashing water all over the place-- if he tried to drink out of it. She would try to shove him out of my lap. She would knock him over. I kept telling her not to pick on him because someday he was going to get bigger than her, and he is. He's HUGE now. 

But he's much kinder to her than she ever was to him. And once she got used to the idea of him staying (or once he was too tall for her to pick on) they got along great. Now they cuddle together all the time. They even give each other kisses and share toys, play tug-of-war together, share food, etc. It's adorable. And she doesn't like to be left alone so I'm really really glad our big guy is there with her when we aren't home. 

I've posted these photos before, but here's them when he was little (he always wanted to cuddle up to her even when she was a jerk to him) and here's them now. So much love. 

l9i

Thank you for this thread because we've been struggling with the same decision! 

As much as I'd love another dog I think we've decided ours loves being spoiled and not sharing attention.  We don't cage him so I don't feel as bad.  He currently sleeps most of the day and I'm pretty sure he'd continue to do so even if we did have another dog.

climbingsingle

l9i said:

Thank you for this thread because we've been struggling with the same decision! 

As much as I'd love another dog I think we've decided ours loves being spoiled and not sharing attention.  We don't cage him so I don't feel as bad.  He currently sleeps most of the day and I'm pretty sure he'd continue to do so even if we did have another dog.

We don't crate her either. I did years ago when she was young, but she has the run of the house now. She really does seem to sleep all day. 

lyndausvi

We've had the bulldog since he was 8  weeks old.      We have always had other dogs come to the house.  We've watched friend's dogs in our home for weeks at a time.  Even our neighbor had a bulldog puppy and we would do play dates in our house.  So the bulldog is very comfortable with other dogs in his territory.   

We decided to get a rescue last spring.  The only issues I worried about and did come true was possible food aggression. In the very beginning there were a few spats over food and bones.   

Now they are so cute, both sit nicely by their respected bowls impatiently waiting for the "okay" command. If one finishes first they do not bother the one still eating.  It's all nice and sweet. But it did take 3-4 months to get that way.  We started with feeding the rescue in the office downstairs, then slowly moved him upstairs until we got to the point they could eat next to each other.

   We started out leaving the rescue in my office if we were not at home, over the course of a few months we started giving the rescue more freedom.  We would leave them home together for a quick run to the store.  About 6 months after we got the rescue he had free reign just like bulldog.

About 3 months in we introduced bones.  That ended in the rescue nipping the bulldog.  Took them away and tried again a month later. The next month after a few minutes the bulldog decided he wanted the rescue's bone.   A little growling, I jumped in.  Took them away.   I would say about 8 months in they can now eat bones together.  Still some bone swapping going on, but no aggression.

Now the reason we got the other dog was to play with the bulldog.  Yeah, that didn't work out so well.  The rescue doesn't like to play like the bulldog.   For the most part the rescue only jumps in if I'm engaged in playing too.  Once I stop, he stops.  Then the bulldog comes back to me because he isn't finished playing yet.

When we are gone they must just sleep.  The other day I left but quickly came back because I forgot something.   Both dogs were in their respected bedrooms in bed.  The rescue has claimed our spared bedroom as his.   The bulldog sleeps with us.  The rescue is allowed to sleep with us just prefers the large queen bed to himself.  No kidding, at about 8:30pm the rescue goes to the stairs, gives us a "good night" look and puts himself to bed.  It's too funny.

emmaaa

We have three dogs. Ours are all crate trained so during the day, the don't get that interaction time that you want.

However, since she isn't, it may be nice for her to have a friend. I too would be worried about how the relationship would be but dogs adapt really well and more quickly than we give them credit for. One thought would to get a puppy. Puppies are very malueable and haven't gotten stuck in a behavior. If Stella is the "alpha" the puppy would accept that as the role and become the submissive one. If you adopted a grown dog who was also the alpha, that could create more problems.

Maggie0829

H and I have one dog.  She is 3 and is super attached to H and I.  Heck she hates it when H and I hug because that means she is being ignored.  She will squeeze in between us on the couch because she wants to be the center of attention.  She is not a huge fan of other dogs.  She doesn't like to play with other dogs and is content rough housing with H or playing fetch.  When we take her to the dog park she pretty much ignores all other dogs and only likes to see the people.  With all of this H keeps saying he wants another dog to keep her company while we are at work.  I just kind of look at him like he is crazy.  Our dog is definitely an only child dog.  I am sure she hates when we are out but she most likely just sleeps the entire time.

It seems like your dog is a lot like mine and is perfectly content being the only dog in the home. As long as you and your H are giving her loads of attention and love when you are at home then she should be fine.

But if you want to get another dog make sure it is because you and your H really want another one and not doing it solely for your current dog.  That would be like having another kid just because you think your first kid is lonely.

Liatris2010

Do you ever dog sit someone else's dog in your home? How does that go? I'd decide based on that.

 

Our older dog likes his younger brother, but I also don't think he'd mind not having him. On the other hand, he is much more active with another dog in the house, and even if he doesn't always appreciate it, I think it is better for him in the long run, since he tends to be lazy if left to his own devices. That being said, I wouldn't get a second unless you were reasonably sure it would work out.

novella1186

Maybe you could sign up to foster a dog? And see if it goes well? Either way, you could take your current dog with you to pick out the new one, and see if they have any initial tension. In my experience (and I know this isn't the case 100% of the time) dogs have some tension right off the bat and then simmer down and learn to get along. Or they have tension right off the bat and never get along. 

Every dog that has been around my dogs, if they're cool when they first meet, then they're cool. 

And you could crate the new dog when you're not home for a while until you're 100% sure they definitely get along. 

tcnoble

Sometimes I think we love our dogs so much we transfer our emotions to them. 

Most only-child dogs I know seem perfectly happy being alone. They love attention from their humans, and crave it, but I don't necessarily think they would feel any better about the absence of a human if there was another dog around. I hope that makes sense? 

Could you find another doggy day care to take her to and give that a try? Or do you have any friends with dogs that they could bring over to socialize, and see how she takes to another dog in her space? You might find that you can really tell (you know your dog) if she is happy to be in the company of another dog, or if she is indifferent to it.

Life would often be much easier if our dogs could use words.

penguin44

tcnoble said:

Sometimes I think we love our dogs so much we transfer our emotions to them. 

Most only-child dogs I know seem perfectly happy being alone. They love attention from their humans, and crave it, but I don't necessarily think they would feel any better about the absence of a human if there was another dog around. I hope that makes sense? 

Could you find another doggy day care to take her to and give that a try? Or do you have any friends with dogs that they could bring over to socialize, and see how she takes to another dog in her space? You might find that you can really tell (you know your dog) if she is happy to be in the company of another dog, or if she is indifferent to it.

Life would often be much easier if our dogs could use words.

Truth.

climbingsingle

Maggie0829 said:

H and I have one dog.  She is 3 and is super attached to H and I.  Heck she hates it when H and I hug because that means she is being ignored.  She will squeeze in between us on the couch because she wants to be the center of attention.  She is not a huge fan of other dogs.  She doesn't like to play with other dogs and is content rough housing with H or playing fetch.  When we take her to the dog park she pretty much ignores all other dogs and only likes to see the people.  With all of this H keeps saying he wants another dog to keep her company while we are at work.  I just kind of look at him like he is crazy.  Our dog is definitely an only child dog.  I am sure she hates when we are out but she most likely just sleeps the entire time.

It seems like your dog is a lot like mine and is perfectly content being the only dog in the home. As long as you and your H are giving her loads of attention and love when you are at home then she should be fine.

But if you want to get another dog make sure it is because you and your H really want another one and not doing it solely for your current dog.  That would be like having another kid just because you think your first kid is lonely.

Our dog is so much like this! She always has to be in between us. 

In a perfect world, I would have many dogs. I can't go to the shelter because I want to bring all the dogs home. My plan was always to have at least two dogs, but obviously I held off. I think it would be a nice bonus that she had someone to play with. But I really am still thinking she's better off as the only and HBIC. 

NavyBlue143

If you want a second dog, some fosters will let you have a "trial run" because they do understand you can't know if two dogs will get along until they are together. Then you could take the weekend or a few days you have off to supervise and observe. Or sometimes neutral territory, like meeting at a park with the foster parent and dog, helps. 

Some dogs are genuinely only dogs. But most could, after a period of adjustment, get along. When we got our new girl, our dog Morgan hated her. It was a younger female, where there had only been two males older than her before. Morgan loved my guy Rocky right off the bat, but when we got Snow after Rocky's death, Morgan was not amused. Snow was a puppy, who had been a stray and then in a shelter, so she had no social skills. She was friendly, but did NOT understand "the rules" of dogdom. It took a few months, and Snow was crated while we were gone, for many reasons, but now the girls are inseparable. Morgan is 6 and Snow is almost 2. They play often. However, Morgan has always had at least one other dog in the house, as well as cats, so we knew she wasn't a total killer, just bitchy. 

I've always heard opposite gender dogs will get along better and more quickly, because there is less of a struggle for dominance then, and in my experience that has been true. But, you know your dog best. 

sassyfrass2014

FI's dog was an "only dog child" for a while until we rescued another recently. We adopted his little sister Scout and did NOT expect it to go so well! It works because they're fairly opposites. She's very social and loves people while he'd rather slink off when we have guests over. She loves rubber balls while he prefers elk antlers. She wants alone time when it's just the four of us and he wants to be on the couch with us watching TV. But there was no way we could have anticipated their personalities to be so accommodating to each other. It also helps that we got Scout when she was very young (about 3 months old). She still had that "puppy smell" and 4-year-old Duff instinctively did not try to hurt her. She has grown up with her big brother, so she didn't have to suddenly learn another dog's habits. 

Heck, getting her so young may have even been why the two of them work so well together. 

plainjane0415

We have 1 inside dog, and 3 outside dogs, so I'm not sure I can be of much help on having multiple pups indoors.  What I will say, is that our 3 outside dogs really keep each other company and play really well together.  They really are best buds,  and it is the sweetest thing.  I definitely think your dog would love to have a playmate, it's worked out really well for us, even though they are outdoor dogs.. Sorry I know that probably wasn't much help!

BrandNewJ

Is it possible to take your dog to adopt another one that way she can help you pick the new dog? When I had 2 dogs, the older dog did not like other dogs. We really wanted another though so we brought her with us. There was 1 dog only that my dog seemed to not hate/not care about. That's the one we got, and they became best friends for 11 years. Having them meet and letting Stella feel like she was part of the decision would make it much easier, I think. 

It's much easier if your dog likes other dogs and isn't so keen on human attention. You could practically bring any dog home and have happy pups. That's how Brando is, he loves other dogs, no fights at the park, and doesn't live for pets. Hell do much better once we get a second dog than he does on his own. It's of the reasons I take him to the park to socialize daily.

[Deleted User]

luckya23 said:

My two female dogs got along fine at first, but now they can't even look at each other and we've had to divide our house in half.

From what you say about your dog, I wouldn't take the chance!!!!  It really, really sucks.

Many dogs are perfectly happy being single dogs! 

STUCK IN A BOX

Yep, my FILs have an "only" dog- perfectly happy.  She does get a bit sad when they leave for a long time, but nothing more.

I'd caution you to think about the time and work involved in helping facilitate them getting along, since you said your H is gone a bit more now that usual.  I've introduced 3 cats (spread out) to a house that started with just one dog.  It's possible, but it takes time and vigilance to make sure nothing gets out of hand.  Also, you have to be ready for the fact that even if the dogs "accept" one another being there, they may not interact with one another.

That happened with one of our cats.  He wanted nothing to do with the dog or the other cats.  No one got into fights, but he was a loner, even with "built in" playmates.  There's no way to guarantee that just because you have two dogs, that they will entertain each other, or even simply get along.

Good luck!

climbingsingle

Thanks everyone!!! I think for now, Stella will remain the HBIC. She certainly wouldn't want to share this cheese with anyone. 

*She really didn't eat the cheese. But she did sit there for like an hour to sniff it. 

Maggie0829

climbingwife said:

Thanks everyone!!! I think for now, Stella will remain the HBIC. She certainly wouldn't want to share this cheese with anyone. 

*She really didn't eat the cheese. But she did sit there for like an hour to sniff it. 

Oh my gosh, that sweater!!  So cute!

climbingsingle

Maggie0829 said:

climbingwife said:

Thanks everyone!!! I think for now, Stella will remain the HBIC. She certainly wouldn't want to share this cheese with anyone. 

*She really didn't eat the cheese. But she did sit there for like an hour to sniff it. 

Oh my gosh, that sweater!!  So cute!

I saw it at Petsmart. I just had to! 

landa10315

We just got a second dog. We rescued our first when he was 3 months and he's a little over 2 years now. Our new one we adopted at 8 months old and we've had her for 2 weeks. They absolutely love each other. Our first was crated when we left the house until we got the new one. Now she's crated at night, and when we leave. We brought our first to the shelter when we were looking to adopt a second and they allowed them to interact before we made our decision. I see you made your decision to probably not adopt again right now, but if you do I see you're in the NYC suburbs. North Shore Animal League is amazing, and were fantastic at working with us to find a dog that would interact well with our first. We also work with an amazing trainer.