Do I need to send multiple invites to one home?

kmedeiros89

If I have some guests living in the same home do I need to send separate invitations?  For example if my cousin and her husband live in her parents house do I need to send an invite to them as well as an invite to my aunt and uncle or is one sufficient? Or two sisters still live at home but both are going to be able to bring a guest, do I send separate invites or again is one ok?

Maggie0829

If the guests are adults (18+) then they should receive their own invitation regardless of their living situation.

mikenberger

kmedeiros89 said:

If I have some guests living in the same home do I need to send separate invitations?  For example if my cousin and her husband live in her parents house do I need to send an invite to them as well as an invite to my aunt and uncle or is one sufficient? Or two sisters still live at home but both are going to be able to bring a guest, do I send separate invites or again is one ok?

Separate invites. Especially if you're allowing them to bring guests. One, your envelope is going to be a big old mess of names and two, they're adults and should be addressed as such. 

And your cousin is married. She's definitely an adult. Put yourself in her shoes, just because she lives in her parents house doesn't mean that she's still under their watch and care. 

(Sorry. This perturbs me specifically as until I was 26, my invites for things were sent to my parents and attached to their invite. Even after I moved out at 24. I had to have a big ol' conversation with a family member because I missed something I would've attended had I gotten my invite in time.)

lyndausvi

If they are adults, yes.

I sent 5 invites to 1 home.  

Knottie79829663

I'm only doing 1 invitation per home. I only ordered 100 invitations.

southernbelle0915

Knottie79829663 said:

I'm only doing 1 invitation per home. I only ordered 100 invitations.

This is bad etiquette and poor planning.

mikenberger

southernbelle0915 said:

Knottie79829663 said:

I'm only doing 1 invitation per home. I only ordered 100 invitations.

This is bad etiquette and poor planning.

Ditto.

Maggie0829

mikenberger said:

southernbelle0915 said:

Knottie79829663 said:

I'm only doing 1 invitation per home. I only ordered 100 invitations.

This is bad etiquette and poor planning.

Ditto.

Yup.

Jen4948

Send every social unit and every adult their own invitation-even if they are all at the same address.

Knottie79829663

mikenberger said:

southernbelle0915 said:

Knottie79829663 said:

I'm only doing 1 invitation per home. I only ordered 100 invitations.

This is bad etiquette and poor planning.

Ditto.

I'm sorry you guys feel that way. I feel that if addressed properly then it isn't a problem. And everyone in my family agrees. But thanks for your thoughts

MairePoppy

Knottie79829663 said:

mikenberger said:

southernbelle0915 said:

Knottie79829663 said:

I'm only doing 1 invitation per home. I only ordered 100 invitations.

This is bad etiquette and poor planning.

Ditto.

I'm sorry you guys feel that way. I feel that if addressed properly then it isn't a problem. And everyone in my family agrees. But thanks for your thoughts

That's the problem, though. They will not be properly addressed, because adults should receive their own invitations. But you're welcome.

[Deleted User]

Knottie79829663 said:

mikenberger said:

southernbelle0915 said:

Knottie79829663 said:

I'm only doing 1 invitation per home. I only ordered 100 invitations.

This is bad etiquette and poor planning.

Ditto.

I'm sorry you guys feel that way. I feel that if addressed properly then it isn't a problem. And everyone in my family agrees. But thanks for your thoughts

Here's my problem with this...  My mom is awful at mail.  She's forgetful.  Let's say you sent an invite for me and my parents who all live in the same house.  Mom would look at the invitation, look at her calendar, decide she can't attend, and forget about the invitation.  She would never even show it to me even though I don't have any plans and would love to attend your wedding.  Then, because my mom never sent back the RSVP card, you'd call her 5 weeks later after the RSVP due date to ask if we can all make it to your wedding.  She replies that she and dad can't make it.  She asks if I can make it, she says she has no idea.  You call me to ask me if I can attend your wedding.  I never saw the invitation, so now I'm asking you all about it, pulling up my calendar on my computer, muttering about my irresponsible mother under my breath, and realize that 3 days ago, I promised a friend I'd help her move.  Shit!  Of COURSE I'd rather attend your wedding than carry boxes up and down the rickety-ass steps of a 3-flat.  But I promised.  And since you didn't send me, a grown-ass adult, my own invitation, I get to do something lame instead of attend your wedding.  Thanks for that.

Knottie79829663

adk19 said:

Knottie79829663 said:

mikenberger said:

southernbelle0915 said:

Knottie79829663 said:

I'm only doing 1 invitation per home. I only ordered 100 invitations.

This is bad etiquette and poor planning.

Ditto.

I'm sorry you guys feel that way. I feel that if addressed properly then it isn't a problem. And everyone in my family agrees. But thanks for your thoughts

Here's my problem with this...  My mom is awful at mail.  She's forgetful.  Let's say you sent an invite for me and my parents who all live in the same house.  Mom would look at the invitation, look at her calendar, decide she can't attend, and forget about the invitation.  She would never even show it to me even though I don't have any plans and would love to attend your wedding.  Then, because my mom never sent back the RSVP card, you'd call her 5 weeks later after the RSVP due date to ask if we can all make it to your wedding.  She replies that she and dad can't make it.  She asks if I can make it, she says she has no idea.  You call me to ask me if I can attend your wedding.  I never saw the invitation, so now I'm asking you all about it, pulling up my calendar on my computer, muttering about my irresponsible mother under my breath, and realize that 3 days ago, I promised a friend I'd help her move.  Shit!  Of COURSE I'd rather attend your wedding than carry boxes up and down the rickety-ass steps of a 3-flat.  But I promised.  And since you didn't send me, a grown-ass adult, my own invitation, I get to do something lame instead of attend your wedding.  Thanks for that.

I understand but that's the chance I'll have to take. Mistakes happen all the time from people not being notified to mail getting lost. But I'm way too far in my process to change the way I want to do this. But completely understand that situation

mikenberger

Knottie79829663 said:

adk19 said:

Knottie79829663 said:

mikenberger said:

southernbelle0915 said:

Knottie79829663 said:

I'm only doing 1 invitation per home. I only ordered 100 invitations.

This is bad etiquette and poor planning.

Ditto.

I'm sorry you guys feel that way. I feel that if addressed properly then it isn't a problem. And everyone in my family agrees. But thanks for your thoughts

Here's my problem with this...  My mom is awful at mail.  She's forgetful.  Let's say you sent an invite for me and my parents who all live in the same house.  Mom would look at the invitation, look at her calendar, decide she can't attend, and forget about the invitation.  She would never even show it to me even though I don't have any plans and would love to attend your wedding.  Then, because my mom never sent back the RSVP card, you'd call her 5 weeks later after the RSVP due date to ask if we can all make it to your wedding.  She replies that she and dad can't make it.  She asks if I can make it, she says she has no idea.  You call me to ask me if I can attend your wedding.  I never saw the invitation, so now I'm asking you all about it, pulling up my calendar on my computer, muttering about my irresponsible mother under my breath, and realize that 3 days ago, I promised a friend I'd help her move.  Shit!  Of COURSE I'd rather attend your wedding than carry boxes up and down the rickety-ass steps of a 3-flat.  But I promised.  And since you didn't send me, a grown-ass adult, my own invitation, I get to do something lame instead of attend your wedding.  Thanks for that.

I understand but that's the chance I'll have to take. Mistakes happen all the time from people not being notified to mail getting lost. But I'm way too far in my process to change the way I want to do this. But completely understand that situation

Lurkers, just know that this is not the correct way to treat your adult guests. 

Maggie0829

Knottie79829663 said:

mikenberger said:

southernbelle0915 said:

Knottie79829663 said:

I'm only doing 1 invitation per home. I only ordered 100 invitations.

This is bad etiquette and poor planning.

Ditto.

I'm sorry you guys feel that way. I feel that if addressed properly then it isn't a problem. And everyone in my family agrees. But thanks for your thoughts

I have an issue when adults don't treat other adults as such.  It is rude.  Period.  Adults should be treated as such.  I am assuming that you would prefer to be treated as an adult instead of a dependent to your parents correct?  Then you should give others that same level of respect.

southernbelle0915

Knottie79829663 said:

mikenberger said:

southernbelle0915 said:

Knottie79829663 said:

I'm only doing 1 invitation per home. I only ordered 100 invitations.

This is bad etiquette and poor planning.

Ditto.

I'm sorry you guys feel that way. I feel that if addressed properly then it isn't a problem. And everyone in my family agrees. But thanks for your thoughts

They can't possibly be address properly because this isn't the proper way to do it.

Oh everyone in your family agrees? Wow, sounds like you rival Gallup in your unbiased polling skills. Sorry, but you can't possibly know that. Even if you did ask everyone (which I would bet my next paycheck you didn't), they'd be nice to you since you're the bride. They'd be like "sure, sweetie, whatever you want."

MobKaz

mikenberger said:

kmedeiros89 said:

If I have some guests living in the same home do I need to send separate invitations?  For example if my cousin and her husband live in her parents house do I need to send an invite to them as well as an invite to my aunt and uncle or is one sufficient? Or two sisters still live at home but both are going to be able to bring a guest, do I send separate invites or again is one ok?

Separate invites. Especially if you're allowing them to bring guests. One, your envelope is going to be a big old mess of names and two, they're adults and should be addressed as such. 

And your cousin is married. She's definitely an adult. Put yourself in her shoes, just because she lives in her parents house doesn't mean that she's still under their watch and care. 

(Sorry. This perturbs me specifically as until I was 26, my invites for things were sent to my parents and attached to their invite. Even after I moved out at 24. I had to have a big ol' conversation with a family member because I missed something I would've attended had I gotten my invite in time.)

Agree. An invitation arrived at my home. It included my DD and her FI, as well as my son and his SO. Both DD and my son had their own homes. It made no sense. It also made me responsible to relay all the information and make the responses on their behalf.

MobKaz

Knottie79829663 said:

mikenberger said:

southernbelle0915 said:

Knottie79829663 said:

I'm only doing 1 invitation per home. I only ordered 100 invitations.

This is bad etiquette and poor planning.

Ditto.

I'm sorry you guys feel that way. I feel that if addressed properly then it isn't a problem. And everyone in my family agrees. But thanks for your thoughts

To save a few dollars, you are doing other rude things as well.  In briefly looking at your post history, I see you have chosen NOT to send invitations to your own wedding party.  We relied heavily on our RSVP's, even from the wedding party, to ensure our head and dinner count was accurate.  But I guess this is to be expected from someone who has chosen to include other major etiquette faux pas on their "special day".

Knottie79829663

southernbelle0915 said:

Knottie79829663 said:

mikenberger said:

southernbelle0915 said:

Knottie79829663 said:

I'm only doing 1 invitation per home. I only ordered 100 invitations.

This is bad etiquette and poor planning.

Ditto.

I'm sorry you guys feel that way. I feel that if addressed properly then it isn't a problem. And everyone in my family agrees. But thanks for your thoughts

They can't possibly be address properly because this isn't the proper way to do it.

Oh everyone in your family agrees? Wow, sounds like you rival Gallup in your unbiased polling skills. Sorry, but you can't possibly know that. Even if you did ask everyone (which I would bet my next paycheck you didn't), they'd be nice to you since you're the bride. They'd be like "sure, sweetie, whatever you want."

Oh Wow you have a very strong opinion about what I"M doing for MY wedding. I've let everyone know (the guest we are expecting larger groups from) that there will only be one invitation per household sent and will be address as Tom Smith & family.  So no that number isn't very larger however it is fitting for our budget.  

MobKaz

Knottie79829663 said:

southernbelle0915 said:

Knottie79829663 said:

mikenberger said:

southernbelle0915 said:

Knottie79829663 said:

I'm only doing 1 invitation per home. I only ordered 100 invitations.

This is bad etiquette and poor planning.

Ditto.

I'm sorry you guys feel that way. I feel that if addressed properly then it isn't a problem. And everyone in my family agrees. But thanks for your thoughts

They can't possibly be address properly because this isn't the proper way to do it.

Oh everyone in your family agrees? Wow, sounds like you rival Gallup in your unbiased polling skills. Sorry, but you can't possibly know that. Even if you did ask everyone (which I would bet my next paycheck you didn't), they'd be nice to you since you're the bride. They'd be like "sure, sweetie, whatever you want."

Oh Wow you have a very strong opinion about what I"M doing for MY wedding. I've let everyone know (the guest we are expecting larger groups from) that there will only be one invitation per household sent and will be address as Tom Smith & family.  So no that number isn't very larger however it is fitting for our budget.  

If I received a blanket invitation for me and "my family", I would be tempted to include every single extended family member, since it is addressed in such a vague and rude way.

Knottie79829663

Maybe it's me but I don't see it as rude. I've taken time to communicate it with my family as to what they would prefer and for our larger groups that is what we agreed upon. But I guess its up to each individual bride as to what they choose to do.

Maggie0829

Knottie79829663 said:

Maybe it's me but I don't see it as rude. I've taken time to communicate it with my family as to what they would prefer and for our larger groups that is what we agreed upon. But I guess its up to each individual bride as to what they choose to do.

So a bunch of strangers on the internet who have no interest in blowing smoke up your butt or worrying about offending you all agree that what you are planning is rude and wrong, yet you still choose to do it your way because you are too hard headed to realize that you can be wrong about things.  So keep planning the way you want to but don't get pissed if you get wind of your family or friends talking shit about your rudeness or side-eyeing you behind your back.

Knottie79829663

Uhhh excuse me but do you know me? Like I stated in previous responses I appreciates everyone's opinion however I'm not going to change something that me, my fiancé and family already agreed on because a bunch of strangers on the internet decided to weigh in on something that has nothing to do with them. But I will continue to respect your wishes to do so. I replied on this thread to give my opinion on what kmedeiros89 had a question about. Again I only talked about what "I" was doing for my family and friends. I think people are taking it too seriously for you not to be receiving an invitation to my wedding. And as for those people who might believe it is rude of me to address my wedding invitations in the matter I choose they can simply come or not. I won't be upset if someone is upset by words on an envelope because I don't sweat the small stuff and that is exactly that SMALL.

But again thank you for your OPINION on MY wedding dear. You have a great day!

Maggie0829

Knottie79829663 said:

Uhhh excuse me but do you know me? Like I stated in previous responses I appreciates everyone's opinion however I'm not going to change something that me, my fiancé and family already agreed on because a bunch of strangers on the internet decided to weigh in on something that has nothing to do with them. But I will continue to respect your wishes to do so. I replied on this thread to give my opinion on what kmedeiros89 had a question about. Again I only talked about what "I" was doing for my family and friends. I think people are taking it too seriously for you not to be receiving an invitation to my wedding. And as for those people who might believe it is rude of me to address my wedding invitations in the matter I choose they can simply come or not. I won't be upset if someone is upset by words on an envelope because I don't sweat the small stuff and that is exactly that SMALL.

But again thank you for your OPINION on MY wedding dear. You have a great day!

So you don't care if you hurt your friends or families feelings by knowingly doing something rude? Wow, aren't you sweet.

southernbelle0915

Knottie79829663 said:

southernbelle0915 said:

Knottie79829663 said:

mikenberger said:

southernbelle0915 said:

Knottie79829663 said:

I'm only doing 1 invitation per home. I only ordered 100 invitations.

This is bad etiquette and poor planning.

Ditto.

I'm sorry you guys feel that way. I feel that if addressed properly then it isn't a problem. And everyone in my family agrees. But thanks for your thoughts

They can't possibly be address properly because this isn't the proper way to do it.

Oh everyone in your family agrees? Wow, sounds like you rival Gallup in your unbiased polling skills. Sorry, but you can't possibly know that. Even if you did ask everyone (which I would bet my next paycheck you didn't), they'd be nice to you since you're the bride. They'd be like "sure, sweetie, whatever you want."

Oh Wow you have a very strong opinion about what I"M doing for MY wedding. I've let everyone know (the guest we are expecting larger groups from) that there will only be one invitation per household sent and will be address as Tom Smith & family.  So no that number isn't very larger however it is fitting for our budget.  

Invitations are like $2-5/each. My guess is that you've prioritized money in other/unnecessary/self-serving places versus actually doing what's proper. 

This site is also for lurkers - I'm not just answering this for YOU and YOUR wedding. This is good information for lurkers to understand that what you're doing is inappropriate. I'm not personally invested in you at all, so I don't care what you do at your wedding.

MobKaz

southernbelle0915 said:

Knottie79829663 said:

southernbelle0915 said:

Knottie79829663 said:

mikenberger said:

southernbelle0915 said:

Knottie79829663 said:

I'm only doing 1 invitation per home. I only ordered 100 invitations.

This is bad etiquette and poor planning.

Ditto.

I'm sorry you guys feel that way. I feel that if addressed properly then it isn't a problem. And everyone in my family agrees. But thanks for your thoughts

They can't possibly be address properly because this isn't the proper way to do it.

Oh everyone in your family agrees? Wow, sounds like you rival Gallup in your unbiased polling skills. Sorry, but you can't possibly know that. Even if you did ask everyone (which I would bet my next paycheck you didn't), they'd be nice to you since you're the bride. They'd be like "sure, sweetie, whatever you want."

Oh Wow you have a very strong opinion about what I"M doing for MY wedding. I've let everyone know (the guest we are expecting larger groups from) that there will only be one invitation per household sent and will be address as Tom Smith & family.  So no that number isn't very larger however it is fitting for our budget.  

Invitations are like $2-5/each. My guess is that you've prioritized money in other/unnecessary/self-serving places versus actually doing what's proper. 

This site is also for lurkers - I'm not just answering this for YOU and YOUR wedding. This is good information for lurkers to understand that what you're doing is inappropriate. I'm not personally invested in you at all, so I don't care what you do at your wedding.

What is even sadder is that she can recoup the money in the dollar dance she plans on having, even though at one point, she had no clue as to what that was!

[Deleted User]

This is what's killing me.  A couple and their two grown daughters live in a house, daughter one is engaged, daughter two has a long term boyfriend.  You are saving approximately $4 ($2 per invitation for each of the daughters) in order to invite 6 people to your wedding.  You know what a better way to save money is?  Only inviting the parents by name, not including "and Family" which has now added 4 additional people to your wedding invite list.  

You say you only bought 100 invitations.  For normal people that would average out to about 200 people at your wedding, but with the whole "and family" thing, I'm going to take that up to between 300-400 people you're inviting.  You know one way to ACTUALLY save money?  Invite fewer people.

Knottie79829663

MobKaz said:

southernbelle0915 said:

Knottie79829663 said:

southernbelle0915 said:

Knottie79829663 said:

mikenberger said:

southernbelle0915 said:

Knottie79829663 said:

I'm only doing 1 invitation per home. I only ordered 100 invitations.

This is bad etiquette and poor planning.

Ditto.

I'm sorry you guys feel that way. I feel that if addressed properly then it isn't a problem. And everyone in my family agrees. But thanks for your thoughts

They can't possibly be address properly because this isn't the proper way to do it.

Oh everyone in your family agrees? Wow, sounds like you rival Gallup in your unbiased polling skills. Sorry, but you can't possibly know that. Even if you did ask everyone (which I would bet my next paycheck you didn't), they'd be nice to you since you're the bride. They'd be like "sure, sweetie, whatever you want."

Oh Wow you have a very strong opinion about what I"M doing for MY wedding. I've let everyone know (the guest we are expecting larger groups from) that there will only be one invitation per household sent and will be address as Tom Smith & family.  So no that number isn't very larger however it is fitting for our budget.  

Invitations are like $2-5/each. My guess is that you've prioritized money in other/unnecessary/self-serving places versus actually doing what's proper. 

This site is also for lurkers - I'm not just answering this for YOU and YOUR wedding. This is good information for lurkers to understand that what you're doing is inappropriate. I'm not personally invested in you at all, so I don't care what you do at your wedding.

What is even sadder is that she can recoup the money in the dollar dance she plans on having, even though at one point, she had no clue as to what that was!

Again you are another one who doesn't know me and don't even know what i'm planning for my wedding and my reception. For your information i'm not doing a dollar dance. My fiancé and his family was toying with the idea earlier in our planning. How about you focus on yourself instead of me sweetheart.

MobKaz

Knottie79829663 said:

MobKaz said:

southernbelle0915 said:

Knottie79829663 said:

southernbelle0915 said:

Knottie79829663 said:

mikenberger said:

southernbelle0915 said:

Knottie79829663 said:

I'm only doing 1 invitation per home. I only ordered 100 invitations.

This is bad etiquette and poor planning.

Ditto.

I'm sorry you guys feel that way. I feel that if addressed properly then it isn't a problem. And everyone in my family agrees. But thanks for your thoughts

They can't possibly be address properly because this isn't the proper way to do it.

Oh everyone in your family agrees? Wow, sounds like you rival Gallup in your unbiased polling skills. Sorry, but you can't possibly know that. Even if you did ask everyone (which I would bet my next paycheck you didn't), they'd be nice to you since you're the bride. They'd be like "sure, sweetie, whatever you want."

Oh Wow you have a very strong opinion about what I"M doing for MY wedding. I've let everyone know (the guest we are expecting larger groups from) that there will only be one invitation per household sent and will be address as Tom Smith & family.  So no that number isn't very larger however it is fitting for our budget.  

Invitations are like $2-5/each. My guess is that you've prioritized money in other/unnecessary/self-serving places versus actually doing what's proper. 

This site is also for lurkers - I'm not just answering this for YOU and YOUR wedding. This is good information for lurkers to understand that what you're doing is inappropriate. I'm not personally invested in you at all, so I don't care what you do at your wedding.

What is even sadder is that she can recoup the money in the dollar dance she plans on having, even though at one point, she had no clue as to what that was!

Again you are another one who doesn't know me and don't even know what i'm planning for my wedding and my reception. For your information i'm not doing a dollar dance. My fiancé and his family was toying with the idea earlier in our planning. How about you focus on yourself instead of me sweetheart.

You are correct. I am "another one" who does not know you, so I, and others, can only "know you" by your posts. This is why it is important when posting to be as clear and informative as possible. I am glad you decided against the dollar dance. But again, we can only comment based on what you post. You had said, "Thank you for explaining everything to me. I think my fiancé really wants to do it so i'll be a team player lol", which more than implies your willingness to have a dollar dance.

 I'm not your sweetheart. If you don't want people to focus on you, "how about" you stop posting?

AddieCake

You don't know me or my life!

ohannabelle

Knottie79829663 said:

mikenberger said:

southernbelle0915 said:

Knottie79829663 said:

I'm only doing 1 invitation per home. I only ordered 100 invitations.

This is bad etiquette and poor planning.

Ditto.

I'm sorry you guys feel that way. I feel that if addressed properly then it isn't a problem. And everyone in my family agrees. But thanks for your thoughts

You don't know if everyone in your family agrees. That's the silliest thing I've read today. (It's early, of course, so that might change in a second.) 

Do you really expect me to believe that you called or spoke to every single person on your guest list to let them know you were addressing invitations, and tell them how you were addressing invitations, and to ask them how they felt about the way said invitations were being addressed?

Because that would be pretty weird over the top behavior. Why on earth would anybody do this? 

("Who was that on the phone, honey?" 

"Oh, that was Petunia. She's calling to ask us if we have feelings about the way she addresses her invitations.")

So nope, don't believe this for one second. Because it's simply not logical in any way shape or form.

You're simply assuming, because you want to do it this way and you don't see a problem with it.

My children are now what are commonly referred to as "grown-ass adults." They answer their own mail, accept or decline their own invitations independently, they make their own appointments, and manage their own schedules. Those things are no longer my job. My days of being RSVP manager ended when they became adults. 

Does your mommy still call someone else's mommy to tell them if you're coming to their party? Nope. Because why? Because you're a grown-ass adult, and should be treated like one.

I am no longer the social activity director for the group. I have retired from that particular job. Stop making work for me. Don't foist mommy responsibilities on me that should be handled by a grown ass adult.