Involving Taiwanese MIL half a world and a culture away

Knottie0839442

My FI's family is in Taiwan, but I'd like to involve my future mother-in-law (who is a very wonderful lady) in the process (also my future father-in-law, but this mostly applies to the MIL b/c I doubt he'd be much interested in dresses, etc). I know already that their family prefers a western-style wedding, with a second banquet-style reception in Taiwan for the family members who can't make it to the US. But how much of my planning is it okay to share with her? Is it okay to share wedding dress ideas with her, or is that something the family of the groom isn't supposed to see beforehand? The FI and I are planning the wedding ourselves, since we don't want to be a burden on our families. His family is very casual family as a whole, and his parents lived in the US for a long time (went to school here, got jobs, met while working, had kids, and lived here for a few years before returning to Taiwan), but I'd like them--and any extended family who can attend, including hopefully his grandparents--to be comfortable, and I don't want to accidentally do anything completely taboo.

I'm probably worrying to much about it, but complicating things is that we've only met once in person, though it was for 10 days, and spoken in person a few times online. Time zones and distance make everything that much harder.

On a side note, does anyone else have trouble figuring out how to talk with the future in-laws half a world away? They're wonderful people and I can't wait to call them officially family...  So how do you go about bonding with a new family you only get to see once a year?

ajisailove

My family's from Taiwan so I'm thrilled you're joining "our community" I'm also doing the same thing as you as having the wedding here in the US and going over there for the banquet. I don't have the same issues as you do since my FI's family and mine live here in the US and I've met his several times, so unfortunately I can't really help out with that. I don't think it's a big deal to show your MIL the dress though, but I can always contact a niece of mine over there to see what they think.

I can help you with your side note though! A tip I have for keeping in touch with people across time zones is having messaging apps on your smart phone. I use Line, Kakaotalk, and Skype to keep in touch with my relatives; this way, as long as you have an internet connection you can message them whenever you feel like it (Line is more popular in Taiwan, btw). This obviously works better if they have a smart phone as well You can even call them using these apps if you want, but I prefer texting.

I'm not the best source around for current wedding trends in Taiwan, but I can try to help by asking my relatives if you want!

Knottie0839442

Thank you! When we visited his parents, everyone seemed so nice, with the entire community warm and welcoming during the stay. His family was so nice (it was over Chinese New Year, so we even met his extended family for a holiday banquet), and they remind me very much of my own, in every way except language. I'm pretty sure our mothers, especially, are going to get along frighteningly well... but in all the best ways, of course. Thank goodness digital cameras didn't exist when FI & I were toddlers, though!

I noticed FI didn't seem to text his parents much through Skype, though that's what he uses for calls, so he probably uses Line instead. I just got my first smartphone last week, so I'll search for the Line app tonight! I know he primarily talks to his parents through the Internet, so that is probably the best option. Text messaging will definitely be a lot easier than waiting for once every month or so to coordinate calls!

I think asking her about wedding trends may be a good icebreaker. Thank you for the offer; it gave me an idea for a talking point.