Not sure what to think

doeydo

MagicInk said:

doeydo said:

I'd tell Karen (perhaps anonymously) because if my SO was going to see a massager/sex worker then I would want to know because that is 100% cheating.  Also, those places are greasy and I would want to go get myself tested.  No, Karen obviously doesn't know and is OK with it because Patrick said they keep it secret from "the women".  

Oh, honey, Matthew 7:3 "Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?"

That's right, the agnostic lesbian just quoted the bible. Suck on that scary religious  fundamentalist  people.

Good one (not being sarcastic or anything).  I guess because I am the "everything is fine" dog (http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/this-is-fine-meme.jpg) and enjoy crushing on people from far away and thinking shit with other people would never work out and I will only end up hurting because they realize what a hideous, worthless piece of scum I am.  
I had an appt. booked with a new therapist/specialist lady but I had to reschedule so now I'm waiting to see her until near the end of February, unfortunately.

ashley8918

doeydo said:

I'd tell Karen (perhaps anonymously) because if my SO was going to see a massager/sex worker then I would want to know because that is 100% cheating.  Also, those places are greasy and I would want to go get myself tested.  No, Karen obviously doesn't know and is OK with it because Patrick said they keep it secret from "the women".  

Meddling in other people's relationships is not your business. What is cheating to you, may not necessarily be cheating for others. You just don't know the intricacies of these people's relationship and it is, repeat after me, NOT YOUR BUSINESS.

huskypuppy14

It sounds like Karen is a very good friend of OP, it's not just a random wife of her husband's friend. I think that changes things slightly. If it was a good friend of mine, I'd tell her. If it wasn't a good friend, I'd stay out of it.

Inkdancer

I would have a hell of a time keeping quiet about something like this if I knew Pervy Patrick's wife well. My line here is: if I had her cell number easily to hand, I'd call her. (I only keep about 40 numbers in my phone, of people I talk to regularly.)

But I also have a serious case of White Knighting sometimes, so I would probably do more harm than good, but my conscience wouldn't let me stay quiet.

danamw

I agree with those who say, stay out of it.

It's just funny for me, that my former boss was Patrick, and his wife is named Karen!

But they aren't the same people, I know!

lc07

Inkdancer said:

I would have a hell of a time keeping quiet about something like this if I knew Pervy Patrick's wife well. My line here is: if I had her cell number easily to hand, I'd call her. (I only keep about 40 numbers in my phone, of people I talk to regularly.)

But I also have a serious case of White Knighting sometimes, so I would probably do more harm than good, but my conscience wouldn't let me stay quiet.

But the most important relationship in this story is OP's relationship with her husband. Who specifically asked OP not to confront Patrick (and I assume his wife) about it. The damage that talking about this would cause her (ETA: her=OP's) marriage is not worth it.

bride2b71614

I think you need to let this go. First and foremost, just because your husband associates with Patrick doesn't mean that he's going to inherit bad behaviors. Let go of the upset of you thinking he went to the parlor. If he told you that he didn't go to the massage parlor, you should believe him. You should trust your husband to enough to say no, and that trust is demonstrated by you not restricting who he hangs out with. If you prevent him from seeing Patrick, you will be viewed as not trusting of your husband, which doesn't bode well for you. 

Please don't say anything to Karen. Your husband told you about this. YOU not anyone else. When you meddle in other people's business, you risk a lot of things. First, you risk repeating untrue information (PPs have stated that Patrick may have lied to look cool). Second, you're making assumptions about their relationship, and disregarding that they may have some sort of agreement. Third, you risk losing your friendship with Karen by repeating this information, true or untrue. Last, you risk your husband losing his friends. Hear me out, if he and Patrick have mutual male friends, and Patrick tells their friends that you were responsible for telling on him, they can only assume that your husband repeated the information to you.