Is it normal or ok to leave out the MOH from wedding preparations?

maidofhonormoh

Really, is it normal? As maid of honor for my best friend's wedding, which is a year away in February, I am constantly being left out of things like dress shopping, discussions, bridal expos, and more. I am the last to be informed of anything going on with the wedding. Even though the wedding is still a good year off I feel that I cannot perform my MOH duties with so little information or inclusion. I have politely told the bride that I would love to help her with things and be the best maid of honor I can for her, and that letting me know what was going on would be helpful in order to do that. She says the general, "I know." yet she still does not let me really know what's going on. I feel like this sounds really whiny and selfish of me, but at the same time I feel like it is hampering my ability to actually perform my duties. 

mikenberger

maidofhonormoh said:

Really, is it normal? As maid of honor for my best friend's wedding, which is a year away in February, I am constantly being left out of things like dress shopping, discussions, bridal expos, and more. I am the last to be informed of anything going on with the wedding. Even though the wedding is still a good year off I feel that I cannot perform my MOH duties with so little information or inclusion. I have politely told the bride that I would love to help her with things and be the best maid of honor I can for her, and that letting me know what was going on would be helpful in order to do that. She says the general, "I know." yet she still does not let me really know what's going on. I feel like this sounds really whiny and selfish of me, but at the same time I feel like it is hampering my ability to actually perform my duties. 

You don't have any duties though. Your duties are buy a dress and show up on time.

If you have offered your help and she hasn't taken you up on it, you're making the choice to be offended. It's nice to want to be included on things though. Does she invite everybody else in the bridal party and exclusively leave you out?

southernbelle0915

You don't have any duties except to be her guest of honor the day of her wedding and to be there in the dress/sober.

You can offer to help but she doesn't have to take you up. Just sit back and relax!

mrscomposer

If she's leaving you out of discussing YOUR dress, then I'd be worried.  Everything else sounds like you're working with an awesomely considerate bride - one who actually thinks her wedding is hers to plan, and that her bridal party are honoured guests, not slaves.

esstee33

She may not need your help, and may recognize that her bridal party doesn't actually have "duties." And if the wedding is still a year away, there's a ton of time for dress shopping and all that.