Utah is a bit different and I need help.

cocolafluer

I am from Utah born and raised, I have never in my entire life been to a wedding that has a cocktail hour, mostly because of the main religion here which I don't have a problem with but I have no idea what to do about my wedding time line. In Utah about 80% of the weddings I go to are members of the LDS faith (Mormons) so they get married at around 9am in the temple than everyone comes to great them outside of the temple at around 12pm, then after that they do a luncheon for close family and friends and then they do pictures etc. Then the reception doesn't happen until 6pm and they have a revolving reception which means no RSVPs usually no food will be served besides cake and there is no alcohol, the bride and groom line up with their parents and have a line that is a million miles long to say hi etc, usually on the invitation it includes a time in which the line will end so if you want to say hi to them after you can but they are busy with the first dance etc. I have only been to a few other weddings that were not LDS and they were in back yards and were terrible. I plan on having a buffet at my wedding and possibly a bar since a lot of my friends drink and my FIs family almost all of them drink. I have no idea what to do for a time line because I will be getting married on a Thursday due to it being cheaper and I am not paying for the reception site my grandma is. I know people in my wedding party will have to get work off etc. and they are all prepared for that but I am so confused on my time table because I haven't gone to a wedding like other states have ever. Sorry this is long winded just trying to figure it all out as I go because I only have one Aunt (married on a cruise) and one Uncle (married in a back yard) that didn't have any sort of religous affiliation. 

fwtx5815

Where are you getting married? A church? Outside? If you are getting married in a church with restrictions on when the ceremony may take place, you'll need to plan the cocktail hour/reception to follow immediately after. I'm assuming if it's on a Thursday, it would be in the evening. The food being served should be appropriate to the time of day (so 7 PM reception = dinner reception).

What a lot of people do is have their ceremony, then the guests head to cocktail hour (can be a half hour or full hour, but shouldn't be longer than 60 min.) while the couple takes pictures with their families and the wedding party. If you do a first look, you can get pictures with your fiance before the ceremony so that you can head to the reception sooner. 

So say you had a 6 PM ceremony and you do a first look beforehand

6 PM - ceremony starts

6:30 - cocktail (half) hour starts

7:00 - arrive to reception, do intros and first dance

7:10 - cut cake before everyone eats so it can cut in the back while everyone eats

7:15 - buffet starts

7:45 - dancing, desserts

(people probably won't stay too late with it being during the week.)

Just make sure that anyone invited to pre-wedding parties or to the ceremony gets an invite to the reception. I recommend spending some time on the Etiquette board since you're unfamiliar with non-LDS weddings. Weddings can be SO fun, but the #1 priority should be hosting your guests properly.

Good luck!

cocolafluer

Thank you so much! My reception will be inside at a venue here in SLC, so no church will be involved. 

atlastmrsg

Just be considerate.  Don't leave a big gap between ceremony and cocktail hour/reception starting.

I will say that it's nice you're doing cocktails.  While I completely understand a dry wedding in Utah for religious reasons, at least your non-LDS friends have the option to have a drink.

Pick your ceremony time accordingly.  Don't do a 1:00 p.m. ceremony, then later start the festivities.  Run everything consecutively.  And don't expect your friends to party down until late in the night since they likely have to go to work the next day.

southernbelle0915

Whatever you do, no gap!! If you want to take pics between the ceremony and reception, host a cocktail hour for guests so they can get refreshments while you shoot photos. 

Our reception was 5 hours. So we just worked backwards from when our venue rental ended. That's probably the easiest way to think about it. 

MandyMost

In general, just try to think of the guests and their experience. Guests like to sit, and to eat and drink (beverages, whether alcoholic or not). Try to maximize those three...sitting, eating, and drinking. Also, guests don't like to wait, and guests don't like to be held as a captive audience for anything other than the ceremony and MAYBE introductions or a first dance. So try to minimize the waiting and the captive audience moments. 

A typical wedding lasts 5-6 hours, from start of the ceremony until the last dance/send-off (if you're having one--most people don't). 

You need to greet all your guests--it's up to you if you do a receiving line (this works best if your guests have to flow from one area to another area at a given time, and you're available to stand there and greet them all as they go through), or table visits (meaning during dinner you eat your meals first and quickly, then you get up and visit all the tables while they're eating). 

30 min-Ceremony

60 min-Cocktail hour for guests, photos for wedding party

10 min-if you're doing them, introductions. You can also do the first dance at this time, or after dinner. Up to you.

60 min-Dinner, and table visits

140 (2 hrs 20 min) min-Dancing!

Often there are also toasts at a wedding. These can be immediately before dinner while people are seated, or during dinner.

The flow of the event usually goes: everyone is seated for the ceremony. Everyone stands up and moves to a secondary location for cocktail hour. There should be some seats, but I've never seen seats for everyone at cocktail hour, nor have I ever sat at a cocktail hour. Then everyone proceeds to a new location, or back to where the ceremony was for the reception, which is set up with dinner tables. On the way from the cocktail hour to the reception you pick up an escort card or consult a big map that indicates where you are seated. There is usually a bar located where the cocktail hour is, as well as in the reception room (although in some venues, you just need to go back into the hallway for the bar). 

cocolafluer

Thank you all so much for your input, what should I do at a cocktail hour? I am doing a buffet with Sliders, fries and milkshakes and a few other things that we haven't figured it out yet. 

CMGragain

Alcohol is never required at weddings.  If you want to have it and your venue is able to provide it, go ahead., but there is nothing wrong with an alcohol free reception.

MandyMost

cocolafluer said:

Thank you all so much for your input, what should I do at a cocktail hour? I am doing a buffet with Sliders, fries and milkshakes and a few other things that we haven't figured it out yet. 

For dinner? 

You could do a few stations of food--even just a bunch of different cheeses and crackers. Or how about a soft pretzel station?! And popcorn, maybe. That would probably go with your "theme". (Which sounds fun by the way!). Or chicken fingers, mozzarella sticks, etc. It doesn't have to be a ton of food...I think they generally assume 4-5 items/bites/small individual apps per person (where each one is 1-2 bites max). 

Often cocktail hours have passed hors d'oeurves, but that doesn't seem like it will fit with your event. 

[Deleted User]

cocolafluer said:

Thank you all so much for your input, what should I do at a cocktail hour? I am doing a buffet with Sliders, fries and milkshakes and a few other things that we haven't figured it out yet. 

Not really sure what you're asking.  But if you're asking what You, as the bride, do at the cocktail hour, either you're somewhere else taking pictures, or you're drinking and eating with your guests.

cocolafluer

Sorry I meant what do I serve?

cocolafluer

Right? I have no idea what to do  for cocktail hour

levioosa

cocolafluer said:

Right? I have no idea what to do  for cocktail hour

You should have drinks and appetizers.  It can be as simple as punch and a cheese and fruit tray before dinner, or something more elaborate and cooked with alcohol and soft drinks/tea/lemonade.  MandyMost had some good suggestions above.    

als1982

Since your wedding is on a Thursday, if it were me, I'd take your photos before the ceremony, skip the cocktail hour and go straight into dinner.  

While they're popular here on TK, cocktail hours are not required as long as food and drink is available to your guests at the start or close to the start of your reception.

I'm guessing you'll be taking the day off work (and likely most of your wedding party will too), so here's the rough timeline I'd follow considering many of your guests will have to work the next day.

4-5:30 p.m. Photos

6:00 p.m.  Ceremony

6:45 p.m.  Receiving Line (you're going to be tight on time since it's a weeknight, this will help you say thanks and greet your guests more quickly)

7:00 p.m. Dinner

8:00 p.m.  Cake/Toasts/Tosses/First Dance  (toasts and tosses are not at all necessary, feel free to skip them if you'd like, also these things are appropriate to have at any point after dinner is served)

10/11 p.m.  Last call 

Frankly, if I were a guest and dinner wasn't until 8, I'd be pretty crabby.

Good luck with all your wedding planning - it's going to be a beautiful day!!