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Need Work Advice

TL;DR - I hate my new job.  Should I ask HR to let me go back to my old position or suck it up and find a new job at a different company.

I hate my new job.  I've literally begged and pledged and bawled my eyes out daily asking DH if I can quit and stay home.  I understand his reasoning on telling me no.  It's not fair to him.  Why should he be the only one with a job that he doesn't much like either and support the both of us?
I'm seriously thinking about going to HR tomorrow morning and asking to be put back to my old position.

My old job was a mixture of things - I ran the office, I was the receptionist, I was security.
My new job is in the Real Estate dept where I accept in and process and close on requests where people want money.

My old job kept me busy, I liked it for the most part.  It got boring and simple after a while.  Right before I left I felt that a monkey could do my job - well apparently that isn't true because the person they filled my position with sucks balls.
My new job is boring as shit.  It's a little more challenging than my old work, but it's a lot of waiting on others to do things.  I hate that I can't start and finish something.  I can either start it or I can finish it.  They don't let you do both.  And you can't do it in one day because people are slow.

My old job I relied on just me mostly.
My new job relies on others.

My old job I had minimal face to face interactions with others and worked in a room by myself.
My new job I work in a cubicle with 4 other people and one of them is a constant talker.

My old job I was fed up with because of the person who would cover my breaks and things went BSC.
My new job I am fed up with because of the constant talker, and not being able to make my own choices, and being told that I'm rude and abrasive and ask too many questions and don't let anyone help me and that no one in the department likes me.

WWYD?  Would you go to HR and ask for your old job back because the pasture isn't greener on the other side?  What would you even say?  Can I say personality conflicts and get away with it?  Or would you suck it up and stick it out and find another job somewhere else?  Or is there a solution to this I'm not seeing?
I've already talked to someone about the constant chatter and I was told "she's your supervisor.  She's running a department."  I now understand why there was such high turnover since I've been there.  6 people have left in less than 2 years.  The work isn't bad, it's the environment.
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Re: Need Work Advice

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    Neither? It sounds like a pretty typical job to me. I think you should focus on ways to not let it bother you so much and give yourself more time to adjust.
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    Look for a job elsewhere. If you weren't happy in your old position before, you won't be if you had to do it again. Plus, you can't go back because the position has been filled. If that person leaves or is fired, then you could reapply but I wouldn't recommend it.

    Otherwise, keep your head down and try to figure out how to deal with your current job. Don't burn bridges at your company if you want to stay. A bad rep in your new department can have an impact on how other departments perceive you and hurt your chances to move to a different position later.

    I understand hating a job as much as you do though (been there when I worked collections) and I am sorry you are going through it. Good luck!
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    You need to leave your job.

    If HR is willing to give you your old job back, they'll never consider you for possible promotion. I'd also suspect that you won't like that job any more now than you did before. It's clearly not the right fit.

    I'd also suggest that you think through what you really want to be doing. My concern is that finding a similar job at a new company won't lead to better results. I don't know you but my suspicion is that you will flourish in a position that's specialized around something that interests you, not jobs that you deem to be busywork.
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    fwtx5815fwtx5815 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited January 2015
    It sounds like you didn't pay attention to the description of the position or ask enough questions before you accepted the job, and for that reason, I would not recommend going to HR. I would stick it out and try to learn as much as you can. You aren't growing professionally if you aren't being challenged.
    And I think the office/cubicle situation is one of the least important aspects of this situation. I think you're gonna have to embrace being a team player until you find something at a different company.

    Edited bc autocorrect is not my friend

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    jacques27jacques27 member
    First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited January 2015

    1. No to citing "personality conflicts".  If you can't get along with people, why would I want to let work a different position in the company instead of just letting you go and finding someone who can handle working with different personalities.

    2.  Why are your two options quit and stay home or beg for your old job?  Having a job doesn't mean you can't actively seek other work in the meantime.  If you can't financially afford to only have one income, it's unfair to put the burden on your SO.  All of your reasons sound pretty minor and some borderline petty (sorry, but they really do) - do you think you won't encounter other chatty people at any other job?  It's nice to have control of things, but unless you own your own business you're almost always going to have someone to answer to or be dependent on some other person for some aspect of your job.  And not everyone is going to like you, but anywhere you go you need to be able to be cordial and have good working relationships with people who aren't like you.  I really can't blame your SO for not being supportive of staying home while you figure it out.  It sucks to discover that a certain line of work just isn't your cup of tea, but anything short of harassment or being asked to engage in illegal activities just doesn't seem worth the risk of financial insecurity.

    Personally, I would:

    1) Look for other work - both internal and external positions (if your old job opens back up you could apply for it, but I really can't see how you could ask to have a position back that isn't available because it was filled.  You may think she sucks, but clearly they don't because they haven't fired her.)

    2) Find things that you do enjoy about the job.  Surely there must have been something that drew you to it.  What made you interested in going from basically an office assistant to working with the financial aspect of real estate?  You discovered you're too impatient to tolerate the waiting aspect of the job and prefer to be solitary, but surely there are some aspects that are tolerable.  Focus on those.

    3) Evaluate your own role in making this a less than ideal situation.  They say you're rude, ask too many questions, and won't accept help.  Are you rude, asking too many or asking the same question repeatedly, and refusing help or not participating in the team?  Is there anything you can do to modify how you interact with them that would seem less abrasive to them?  Could it be possible that your distaste for the kind of work you're doing is seeping into your attitude and interactions with them and they can sense that?  It's a hard thing to accept, but in my experience there is usually a modicum of truth behind accusations like these.  This isn't meant to place the blame on you or even saying you ARE rude, but something in the way you are acting is allowing for them to have that perception.  I have been in your position where I felt people were unfairly accusing me of being rude when really I'm just quiet or straightforward or very much business oriented - it takes me awhile to warm up to people and I tend to keep work focused on work and not discuss my personal life there.  But in hindsight, there were a lot of things I could have also done to make myself more personable that would have broken down the barrier to them understanding my nature and being accepting of it and I could have been more tolerant of them and the things I didn't like about them, but eventually learned to accept once I got to know them better.  Surely there must be something you can find common ground on.  You'd be amazed how much camaraderie can be built over love of chocolate and a shared bowl of Dove Promises.

    4)  If being personable and tolerant are truly unattainable goals for you, then keep your head down, do your work, and find ways to cope until you can find a new job.  Take a walk outside on your breaks to clear your head.  Find an empty conference room and take a few minutes to meditate and take stock of the things you are thankful for in your life when work starts to aggravate you.  Bring headphones and listen to music at a high enough volume that you can filter out some of the chatter, but low enough that you can still hear if someone is addressing you directly or your phone rings.  Make a phone call date with your husband or your best friend to just have a few minutes of chit chat with someone you like during lunch break to recharge for the second half of the day.

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    I think you need to look at some long term goals.  You're taking two steps back by going back to being the receptionist.  This new position is giving you a new set of skills whether you see it or not.  It sounds like it'll be a good resume builder, even if you do continue to look for jobs now.  No, you should not talk to HR...and you should not talk to your husband about quitting and putting such a financial burden on him.  Work on your resume and start applying elsewhere...but until then you need to suck it up because there's no way you didn't know what you were getting into when you pursued this job. 

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    Okay, so this job sucks balls. I'm with you.


    But your reality is that your H can't afford to support both of you on his income, so it's not feasible to leave this job before you get another one. Right now you've offered the options of asking for your old gig back (not likely. The position is filled) or quitting outright (not good/feasible for your family).

    But you can sure as hell job hunt externally. I can't recommend that enough. Do you know any recruiters? Do you have any colleagues or former colleagues who have moved to other companies who you are on good terms with? INvite them out for a coffee and pick their brain about how they found their job, whether they like it, if they think you might enjoy it based on what they know of you, if they hear of any openings, etc. Network your damn face off! ("Network" is an obnoxious and sometimes scary word, but really it's just sharing a coffee or a drink with someone and talking shop. If you click, that person may be a resource. If not, well, you still had a drink).

    I don't recommend talking to HR. How long have you been in the new role? If it's less than 6 months I doubt you could reasonably have a "can we talk about my role and ways I can minimize these problems and maximize my productivity" conversation (that, by the way, is the conversation to have. Always framing it as what you can do for the company, not what they can do for you. HR doesn't work for you; they work for corporate, and their job is to facilitate things to make the company's "life" easier). And asking for your old job back and citing personality problems? That's a way to signal to them that you're not interested in toughing it out, that you can't get along and be a "team player," and that you're ultimately not a good fit for their company.

    The truth is, you probably aren't? But they aren't a good fit for YOU, either, so don't dwell on it! Put your head down, smile at your annoying colleagues, and apply for other jobs. When you start getting interviews, be sure to ask about the culture and the style of management--if they throw around terms like "collaborative" and imply or state that you'll have more than one person to answer to, those are things that will no doubt be less than enjoyable for you.

    I'm sorry--I have been in jobs I hate and that stress is no joke. Do what you have to to not get fired, and then use the energy you'd normally spend trying to excel on your job hunt. Don't let them suck you dry to the point that you can't go find the next thing. Good luck!

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    larrygagalarrygaga member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited January 2015
    Man I know all about hating your job. I say actively look for another and suffer through the one you have until you have a new one for sure. Gotta pay the bills no matter how unhappy you are. It's not right to dump all that on your fiance.

    He should probably also apply for new jobs if he feels that way.
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    Thanks for all of your responses.

    The person they filled my old job with used to cover me for breaks and days off.  They forced her into it hoping she would eventually quit.  At this time she is unable to complete all of the work and has to have a lot of help.  I have seen others within the company move to different positions and then go back to their old position because they didn't like the new one.  I realize that it may be taking a step back, but I enjoyed 95% of what I did there.  I like being constantly busy, so busy that I'm right on the brink of being overwhelmed.  I like being able to multitask.  While I know I'm learning new skills in the new department, the work is boring as shit and not up to the level of busyness I grew accustom to.

    The only reason I put my bid in for the new job was because I needed to get away from the person covering me.  We were butting heads so bad in the end that I could feel it was starting to affect our work.  The was no interview, no time to ask questions.  I was called into HR 5 minutes before close on a Thursday and said that I would be starting the new job Monday.

    H and I could easily survive on what he brought home.  Things would be a little tight, but we could get by.  I recognize it isn't fair and he would be greatly disappointed in me if I quit before finding a new job which is why I won't take that route.

    I will keep my head down as suggested and start looking for another job.  If I'm this unhappy sticking it out and giving myself more time to adjust isn't going to help, it will only make it worse.
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